I feel nobody cares

[minniemoo]

I know it's stupid and not true, I feel nobody cares about me, my dad has parkinsons and is unwell and my mum spends up to 6months abroad each year (obviously they are not together) I feel because my mum is away she's not there for me (you can't really get feelings across via email) also I don't want to send negative stuff to her while she's away. My dad has his own problems so wouldn't burden him anyway. I live with my bf, the first three years he was really good with me and cared about my feelings, he supported me emotionally and me him. This last year, I feel like he will quite happily sit back and watch me suffer, I've even spelt it out to him that I feel lonely because he's not there for me when I need him. It's almost like he only likes me when I'm happy, but if any reason I'm sad he leaves me to cope on my own, I'm getting really fed up now. I have a few friends but to be honest I don't much like talking about my relationship. He has kids two of which live with us, I've often felt bottom of the pile in this situation and expressed that feeling also, he sometimes tries in this aspect but it's never long b4 I feel like I'm back at the bottom. I just keep thinking that if he loved me he wouldn't let me suffer and would comfort me, he is a nice guy and everybody really likes him. About 10 years ago I OD on prescription pils with a view to ending my life, I ended up in intensive care, I've found myself thinking that maybe it would have been better if I had just died as I'm struggling to see many good things that have happened in the last 10 years. I've watched my friends on Facebook getting married and having babies and living all the dreams I wanted for myself, as for me I just see a very lonely over weight person that people don't really care about. I just don't know where to go from here, the last few days my pillow has remained wet from tears and the lonelyness is fast becoming darker. Sorry it's all very depressing, I was on Prozac but came off them to try for a baby but that's not happening. Funny as it sounds I don't actually feel depressed just very sad :(

[anxiousmal]

Hello,

Sorry to hear how you've been feeling. I can't offer up much advice, however the few things I can say are:

Dont pay attention to facebook, people only ever put on there what they want others too see so it mostly looks all roses.

As for yourself, it sounds like you need to do something for yourself. Treat yourself to something that will put a smile back on your face. If someone isnt doing this for you, you need to do it.

As for no-one caring about you, I think it's highly unlikely. I'm sure the people you have around you care greatly.

[minniemoo]

Thanks Mal and Dan, I appreciate I was ranting and it's not really a good thing to spout negativity. I feel a little better for ranting tho 🙊

[minniemoo]

I don't know why it says dde4a at the end it was supposed to be an icon :)

[albgirl82]

Don't beat yourself up with this..the ppl around us care more than we will ever know..its just our paranoia that makes us believe that they don't!! Everyone struggles in life..no one has it good. Chin up, and pray that God will give a baby soon..they are the reason why i live and try to fight this monster of depression. Hugs

[sazco]

i feel the same way minniemoo, i just think its normal

[scared44]

I know it's stupid and not true, I feel nobody cares about me, my dad has parkinsons and is unwell and my mum spends up to 6months abroad each year (obviously they are not together) I feel because my mum is away she's not there for me (you can't really get feelings across via email) also I don't want to send negative stuff to her while she's away. My dad has his own problems so wouldn't burden him anyway. I live with my bf, the first three years he was really good with me and cared about my feelings, he supported me emotionally and me him. This last year, I feel like he will quite happily sit back and watch me suffer, I've even spelt it out to him that I feel lonely because he's not there for me when I need him. It's almost like he only likes me when I'm happy, but if any reason I'm sad he leaves me to cope on my own, I'm getting really fed up now. I have a few friends but to be honest I don't much like talking about my relationship. He has kids two of which live with us, I've often felt bottom of the pile in this situation and expressed that feeling also, he sometimes tries in this aspect but it's never long b4 I feel like I'm back at the bottom. I just keep thinking that if he loved me he wouldn't let me suffer and would comfort me, he is a nice guy and everybody really likes him. About 10 years ago I OD on prescription pils with a view to ending my life, I ended up in intensive care, I've found myself thinking that maybe it would have been better if I had just died as I'm struggling to see many good things that have happened in the last 10 years. I've watched my friends on Facebook getting married and having babies and living all the dreams I wanted for myself, as for me I just see a very lonely over weight person that people don't really care about. I just don't know where to go from here, the last few days my pillow has remained wet from tears and the lonelyness is fast becoming darker. Sorry it's all very depressing, I was on Prozac but came off them to try for a baby but that's not happening. Funny as it sounds I don't actually feel depressed just very sad :(

Hi Minniemoo (great name) welcome and hope you get some kind of support on here! I just read your post and it made me cry. You seem so lovely and your boyfriend seems very selfish. If he cant be there when your down then that is his problem no yours sweetie. Are you on medication, do you see a therapist ect? Try and do things for yourself when your feeling low have a hot bubble bath listen to relaxation music excersise which really helps. Stay strong and if you need to talk PM me ok. Take Care.... Beverley xx

[Soundguy1000]

Well said albgirl82

[PanicCured]

From the lyrics of a Radiohead song:

"Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's there."

Don't believe everything you think!

[minniemoo]

Scared44 thank you for your kind words, no medication but I think I'm going to have to go on some. Even tho I don't feel depressed I think I most probably am, my post is not the ramblings of a sane person lol I told him it was over last night not that he was bothered at all. I'm going to stop crying and get my life sorted! Thank you for everybody's kind words xxxxxxxxxxxxxx :)