Worry about Worry

[QuestionQuestion]

I hate worrying about me being worried. It just makes me feel so weird and unnormal, which I finally think I am now. When I start worrying I'm like oh no I'm still not normal because Im worried about my mental health and then I get all worked up like I need to do all these things just in case I'm mentally crazy not to do it. I'm pretty ambitious however I don't want that to come from a weird place. Can someone help/give advice. I'm 27 and I want to live like I should be

[Karen0916]

I know how you feel. I am the same. I worry about what will happen in the next 60 seconds. I learned how to control that. I clear my mind and i start to think about positive things and all negative thoughts i delete them from my mind. And then i do 15 minutes of Yoga. I don't know if this will help you but i hope it does. It has helped me alot.

[Jay1985]

I think we all get this

[jessed03]

Worry about worry, is nothing different. It is still worry. :)

If you say, I am worried that my bills will be unpaid, you are worrying. If you say, I am worrying that I worry too much, it is still just worry. Deal with it in the same way you would deal with regular negativity. It is no deeper form of thought that any other. Sometimes, when we think about our thoughts, or worry about worrying, we feel this new feeling of worry, or this new level of thinking is more profound, and more meaniningful, that it comes from a deeper place, but it doesn't. It is just part of that overall habit of worry and over thinking.

If you don't want to worry, why don't you stop? :) It's that simple. You can just stop. You have permission, but only if you give it to yourself. Do you really want to stop, or do you believe in some way this worry is productive?

You can't stop negative thinking, that will go on for a while, but can stop worrying. Worrying requires you to be involved. Drop it, don't touch it. "The delivery man is late with my parcel" - "ok". Always just ok. Use your senses, and your subconscious mind to overcome problems. Science has proven all problems are solven from these places anyway. The forefrontal act of worry accomplishes nothing. All anxiety cures begin with acceptance. Here is how to begin :)

People think it's incredibly disrespectful when I say this. They think it's disrespectful when I tell them they are allowed to just drop their involvement in worry if they want. It's almost like they look at me, and think - "No way... Don't you know how long it has taken me to cultivate and grow this worry?! - And you want me to just drop it like that?!"

Practice :)

[Nicolette]

What i dont understand, is how i stop getting involved with worry. it seems even though i dont want to, i still end up worrying about everything. its like something happens to me, and i notice it, and already the worry is at a high level. I feel like i have to do something about it, like call the doctor, or leave my family to be safe, or try to find out if i am sick, or why i am feeling this way. No matter how much i try to stop i just cant stop. my mind takes over and it all goes down a spiral. I am beginning to feel better im just still quite confused.

thanks for replying to my pm as well.

p.s. i worry because i think that something is wrong with me, or that i am a bad person

[jessed03]

You're welcome Nicolette.

My friend with anxiety once said - Trying to live is killing me. What an ironic idea.


my mind takes over and it all goes down a spiral

Let me ask you a question thats really important. When you think of 'you' - 'Nicolette', who are you? Do you believe you are your mind? It's something we've never thought about - but ask yourself now.
At your deepest level, are you your mind? -Perhaps Sometimes? All the time? Only when you're scared? Never? At what point during your worry and intrusive thoughts,do you become your mind?


What i dont understand, is how i stop getting involved with worry. it seems even though i dont want to, i still end up worrying about everything.

Your mind will say a million different things to you - Really it will. It will make you feel scared, dirty, powerless and in need of something. It does this so it can keep it's power over you.

Whilst you need answers, you need the mind. Your mind will trick you into believing that you are in danger, or you are bad, or you are inferior.

Why does it do this? Because when you believe this - then you need something. When you need something, you are vulnerable. When you are in need of change, protection or answers - your mind offers to trade with you, in exchange for that control. And this is usually so tempting, that we give in...

But like I mentioned in another thread - Even the greatest salesperson alive can't make you buy something, if in the end, you just refuse to buy it

If you believe you are just your mind, and only your mind - that it's judgments, ideas and beliefs are final - then you have no chance of getting better. Be clear about who is at the bottom of everything you feel. It makes everything much easier. You can watch the mind. You can see yourself thinking. You aren't the mind.


I feel like i have to do something about it, like call the doctor, or leave my family to be safe, or try to find out if i am sick, or why i am feeling this way.

So, if you aren't your mind - how did it achieve this God-like state? How did it become so influential? How did it hypnotize you?

I think the reason we get fooled and tricked by the mind, is because it hides in a place that we can't see it. It is covered with shadows, in the darkness of our heads. We can never quite see or understand it. It's like the Wizard of Oz. An insignificant thing, hidden behind a robe, portraying itself as an all powerful thing.

Make no mistake. The mind acts as though it were God.

The mind is not bad! The mind is amazing. It's just the script writing department of your mind that is the problem. It's the names, and labels and ideas that it obsesses about that causes you anxiety.


my mind takes over and it all goes down a spiral.

You can learn to become distanced from the mind. This is what CBT teaches you (meditation too). In CBT you write down your thoughts. By doing this, you realize thoughts are just usually random patterns and expressions of confusion, they are just ways of a brain trying to understand. You can enjoy thoughts. Thinking isn't bad. Only being deluded by thinking is bad. When I am around my baby nephew I think - "He is such a beautiful boy." This thought isn't a problem to me. I choose to believe it and engage it. It doesn't trick me into letting it in. I'm not bullied by it and it isn't harassing my mind.

The reason we worry and have strange thoughts is our minds are so exhausted from exercise. And they are exhausted because we have spent so much energy defending what isn't real. We have spent so much energy running away from something that isn't chasing us. And in our tiredness, we are hearing innocent noises, and thinking they are enemies. This is worry. We have thoughts that other people dismiss, but we cannot, because we are so tired, we confuse ourselves into believing there is danger.

Not only sleep gives you rest Nicolette. You can learn to create a mental state that is restful, and conducive to recovery too :)