Anyone ever get this?

[MsMichie]

So I have had a lot of nothing going on in the past couple of months...pretty much unemployed, though I found a very part time job I can't stand, feeling low about my future prospects after I had to drop out of a master's (graduate level) university program a couple months ago.

A couple of years ago I used to work as a grocery store cashier, and in the middle of the shift a wave came over me mentally, and all I could think about was how I didn't want to be there and I wanted out. I don't know if my heart was racing but I felt uncomfortable. My thoughts were racing though. When I took a short break, all of a sudden I started crying. Like out of nowhere. And I felt awful. I ended up leaving work, saying I didn't feel good. Went home, finished bawling, and went to bed. Anyway this had been happening a lot more often. Last week I was on route to that part time job and started bawling on the bus. I couldn't handle going to work, and I skipped my shift totally.

During these times, I also feel very tense around people and feel like I can just jump out of my skin and attack them if they try to talk to me or even accidentally touch me, or make eye contact. I'm very jumpy.

It's getting to the point where it happens and I feel "done" for the day, I just want to disappear and sleep until its a new day.

Anyone get this? How do you deal?

[alankay]

Have you met with a counselor to try and find a root cause for any anxiety and/or depression? I'd start there as just focusing on symptoms will lead you in circles mostly. If no root cause can be found then you 'll need to address symptoms. Alankay

[MsMichie]

Ya I've seen therapists before and I'm on an anti-depressant. Wish I can find a good counselor to help me through life but not so easy.

I know I'm disappointed that I am not where I want to be career wise or academically, feel torn because I don't want to take a job to just pay the bills that I won't like ( I want one in my field), and stress shows up because my husband isn't too happy that I'm not looking for (any kind of) work.

Or are these symptoms just coming at the opportune times when i feel overwhelmed and Because I want the excuse to get me out of responsibilities, i let the emotions get to me and don't work to quiet them like I should be doing?