Thought I Was Doing Well!

[Kalita]

Well, it's been a long time since I last posted. I thought I was doing really well. Now I'm going down hill again.
I'm trying to fight a panic attack as I type. I don't know whether it's stress that has bought this on again or what?
My son (2yr old) is sick again. So there's been a few nights of lack of sleep. Now, I've got this flu, cough thing that my son has. So not feeling 100% anyway. Then this afternoon I started feeling weird on the left side of my face. So straight away I panicked! Yep. Straight away I believed I was starting to have a heart attack! 😭 Then a few hours ago I just discovered that something has bitten me on the side of my head just above my left ear. I guess that is why my ear, temple and jaw hurt. But still, that heart attack notion is in the back of my head. And just now, I went to the kitchen to take my medicine and out of the blue my face went cold and clammy. So yep, panic attack started getting higher. Right now I feel like curling up and crying!! I can't take this any more! The only thing that's got me hanging on / not losing it, is that I've had a heart assessment. My heart calcium score was zero which apparently was great! No calcium deposits or arterial build up. And my heart ultrasound showed I was all fine. The cardiologist said he wouldn't have to see me again till I was 40 (I've just turned 37). So, knowing all that, I'm STILL panicking that I'm having or going to have a heart attack. I feel so alone right now. For a year I've been fighting depression and yes, I'll admit, I've put on weight because I haven't been as active as I used to be. But I just can't get out of this slum. I don't want to be like this!!!!!! How do I get my life back?! How do I stop this phobia about heart attacks?!! 😭😭😭😭😭

[Kalita]

Forgot to also mention, a family friend of mine was recently diagnosed with arterial blockages and he just underwent quintuple bypass heart surgery. And I have noticed in the past that when someone close to me suffers some kind of heart condition I break out into a panic. Maybe that's what's set off this anxiety?! The same thing happened to me a couple of years ago when a friend of mine, same age as me, passed away suddenly from a heart attack. But why and how do I stop this? I can't take this anymore! I am seriously starting to think I have a phobia of heart attacks! :'( I can't cope with this anymore!!!!!

[NixonRulz]

You and me both!

Someone mentions heart attack, hypertension, coronary disease, etc..., I would get that adrenaline rush and wave of panic and off I was to the races.

I had the same clean bill of health but i kept feeling the chest tightening and heart skips and jumps.

Then I realized all those things were symptoms of anxiety. I keep saying the same thing here but all those symptoms develop by shallow chest breaths and anxious people are shallow chest breathers.

Big slow belly breaths would always stop the physical symptoms then my mental ones would subside.

I have been getting bloody noses for the last year or so. My family said get your blood pressure checked becasue it runs in the family.

Well I finally did after not taking it for a few years becasue my "heart thoughts" would cause my pressure to rise and that would be the reason it was high, not becasue it was high naturally.

Here is the part that I am patting myself on the back for.

My BP was 180/95 at home as calm as I could be about it. Oh no! I thought to myself.

Then I just said to myself "well it has probably been high for quite some time and I haven't yet kicked the bucket so I am probably good.

It gets better. Continue reading......LOL

Went to the doc and my pressure was 190/100. I chalk the 10 points up to being at the doctor.

They put me on BP meds to get it down.

One week later I am at 148/78.

Doc says even though I am in pretty good shape, genetics alone will probably keep me on the meds for life. Who cares. Glad they have something to fix me up.

Moral of my story......

After dealing with anxiety for 20 years, last week was the only time anything bad ever happened.

Best part is anxiety didn't even cause it! It's all my mom and dad's fault for giving me crappy genes.

You can stop it by thinking of the countless times you thought you were dying or having a heart attack.

The next time you feel like that nothing happen will yet again. And the next time won't be different, or the next time or the next time......

Sooner, rather than later you will chalk those physical symptoms and mental thoughts as only symptoms of anxiety. WHICH THEY ARE!!!!!!

Just laugh about it the next time you feel that way and move on. Just another symptom of anxiety. Only uncomfortable but not I am in no danger.....again

I think you will be fed up with all that negative thinking about your perfectly fine heart and you will be back to being the person you want to be.

[abartlett331]

I know that exact feeling and here is what I do to cope with my symptoms. Really, all you can really do is take control of the situation and rationalize everything. The fact of the matter is that you're perfectly healthy and most likely will not suffer a heart attack. I find that facing what scares you the most, breaking it down, and rationalizing it helps a lot. Of course this is not easy because getting that constant worry out of your mind is very hard. Sometimes our heart will beat fast all of a sudden for no apparent reason. The day could be beautiful, the sun could be shining, the birds can be chirping, and we still feel nervous.

You should go outside and enjoy nature. Sit in a nice shady area, close your eyes and meditate. You can even use soothing mediation music to help. Control your breathing as you meditate. This along with daily exercise and yoga helps a lot. In the end I won't lie to you because it won't be easy. Just take gradual steps and wake up everyday acknowledging that we're only in this life once. Why spend it being scared all the time? Only you can control how you live your life. So take control and do your best to cope with your nerves. Take care.. :)

[Kalita]

Thanks guys. Your responses really did help! THANK YOU!
I really feel like getting out into nature today. Just to get OUT and clear my head. But I just went to the Dr's and turns out I have an upper respiratory infection, infected ears and infected throat. And to top it off, whatever bit me yesterday has also infected the side of my head. So I'm off to the drug store now to get some antibiotics and then dr's orders, get complete rest! I asked the Dr if she thought out in nature was complete rest and she just rolled her eyes at me and repeated "complete rest! At home!!"
Oh and she [dr] could tell I was on the verge of panic attack again (she knows me too well) so she checks out my blood pressure and heart rate etc, and it was all completely normal. She told me to try and not panic. My heart is fine. And I'm arguing with her that I keep coming out in a clammy sweat, which she then tells me happens when you have an infection in the face and head like I do now! Doh!!
Fingers crossed I remain panic free for a while yet!!
But seriously, thanks guys. Just hearing from others that know how I feel is reassuring.