feel like I'm actually going crazy....dp?

[Rachxx]

hiya

although I have visited these boards many times I've never posted until now...if I'm honest i find it really difficult to discuss my anxiety issues with others (typical anxiety thing huh) but really need to get this out as its driving me nuts.
guess I better start with abit of my anxiety story (keep it short I promise ;)
my anxiety/panic attack issues started in 04 whilst pregnant with my son...I passed out whilst cueing in a busy shop and since that experience I have struggled with EVERY anxiety symptom going (or so I thought) I've struggled thru the years with mostly the fear of passing out in public/obsessive thoughts/fear of going crazy/fear of harm (HATE saying that) but I feel over the last 3yrs I have really got this under control especially the last year just over I've done things I thought impossible a few year ago (been on holiday twice last year/drunk alcohol to excess (with loss of control fear haveing held me back for years)/done normal general things like walk round shops for hours just shopping enjoying myself/trips out/meals out things I guess I took for granted years ago but finally able to do without the fear (or should that be the fear under control)
now to the present...back in January we were in mc Donald's partner had gone to get served and tbh I was feeling really hungry as I hadn't eaten all day so felt abit lifeless...all of a sudden this overwhelming sense of dread came over me it was like nothing I'd felt before (and with anxiety I've felt everything) it felt like my world had just ended I felt sick,hot,tingly, and felt like I wasn't me... I just felt like running but I felt that out of body I feared if I would be able to make my body function to actually walk out of the place...felt like my mind was totally separate from my body...how I made it outside and waited for that taxi home I don't know all the while I felt any minute my body would just shut down or lose control (felt like I had no control over me?) since that day for the last 8weeks I've felt this way on and off (not to that exstent) although the first few days after I was haveing daily attacks of that same fear and feeling...that has now turned to a regular lingering not myself feeling..feel differant to how i felt before ..in myself..how i view others..the world..general things like eating or washing (wonder whats the point) mind races or goes totally blank and find it hard to find words...is this dp? this is something I haven't felt before and dp isn't something I have experience with...it's always nice to hear from others instead of just reading from a symptom page....would really appreciat anyone's input/experience/thoughts on this? this has really knocked me for six and I'm not sure how I can pick myself up and brush myself off...thankyou for reading xxx

[weary]

Rachxx- I know what you are saying I have lived with anxiety for 8 yrs nownandnit is hard to get past some days that is for sure. When I feel like that I do belly breathing and meditation and most of the time I will do the mediation before bed and I find that I have been sleeping better and wake up with no chest pains and no rushing in my chest. I also try to find a way to do some yoga if time allows I actually have my daughter do it with me which helps her settle down to when she is super hyper.
I hope you can find peace and hope this helps so you can move forward

[anxiousmal]

Sounds like it is dp. I had those feelings for about 2 and half months, they went and gradually faded away. They are not very nice and the worst part of anxiety. Just like you describe, the feelings just came on and I panicked about them, which made them worse.

I hope your ok, just try not stress about the feelings, just accept them and they will fade. Distracting myself with games or tv helped alot.

Maybe visit the doactor as there is medication that can help ease the feelings apparently. I was on pregabalin, where the feelings of dp have gone, I now have a general weird feeling which I think is the pregabalin which I'm still on. It could be anxiety, it's hard to tell.

[laurandisorder]

It sounds very much like depersonalization.

I usually get it before an onset of anxiety, or a cycle of attacks and honestly, usually it's my body trying to tell my brain something.

It happens when I am over tired, under nourished, dehydrated or when I flat out have not been looking after myself (too much drinking and smoking, eating junk food too much etc). Do you think your body is trying to tell you something? Or is there anything else going on in your life?

I believe I get this feeling because I don't have a very strong connection to my body and physical sensations associated with keeping it running smoothly - that sounds weird just typing it, after all, I am IN my body! But I don't realise I have barely eaten all day until I feel sick with nausea. I don't realise I haven't had enough water until I'm dizzy and faint. I certainly can't identify when I over do it with physical activity. Last summer I ran on ankles with bursitis for two weeks because I thought there was something wrong with my running shoes - I couldn't walk properly for a month because I failed to identify the pain was from running 9km six days a week!!

The above night be totally irrelevant, but it is how I rationalize the dp. It's my body saying 'hey, I'm still here - stop punishing me!!'

If it continues, it would be worth seeing your doctor and getting a check up - blood work and the like to eliminate any problems like thyroid and deficiencies.

I hope this has helped!

[Rachxx]

hi everyone thankyou so much for your replys its lovley to know im not the only one going thru this at the minute....

weary: i have tried the belly breathing before (actually dont know why i stopped) and it does actually calm me,speacially before going to sleep...i usually fall asleep doing it..think i will add that to my bedtime routine..i guess with me haveing felt better i have kinda ditched/forgot all the things that got me thru high anxiety before..i kind of wish i would have wrote a journal over the years to look back on and re assure myself as no matter how many times u go thru it (even ifits the same symptoms) or new ones it always feels like youve never felt this way before (guess thats anxietys trick) xxx

anxiousmal:its nice to read that this feeling DOES actually go away eventually as google :/ has brought up some not so encourageing results on dp (specailly the one that said once its triggered it never goes :( ) im trying to apply the same approach that i used over the years to get better from my previous anxiety symptoms..wich is as u just mentioned the "accept" and basically get on with life BUT im finding it really hard as i guess with my previous symptoms ive felt them that many times they become less scary and more of an annoyance and jelly legs,feeling faint ect seemed alot easier to accept and rationlize than my brain haveing lost conncetion with my body and that horrible feeling that the shutters have come down :/ xx

laurandisorder: your reply is actually something i have wondered about (feeling like my bodys trying to tell me something) like you i must admit i do actually forget the simple things like "drinking...eating" get that caught up in the day that it gets to 8pm and i realise ive only had one mug of coffee (decaf) allday :/ im guessing thats what lead me to feeling the way i did in mcdonalds that day? we had literatly spent 4hours walking around shops with an empty tummy and running on 1 cup of coffee...
thinking about it i did really overdo myself in the summer i guess the new found freedom i felt knew no bounds...we were out and about everyday and as i said in my post i did start up drinking again for a good 4/5months i drunk until i past out (that sounds so bad as thats so not me ive not drunk for7years previous to that) i was also diagnoised with PMS and PCOS in the summer so i do also have some hormone imbalance going on....think maybe i did over do myself? and its all caught up with me at once? feel it has hit me more because i have felt so good and i honestly did think anxiety was a thing of the past and i had cracked it :/ was like a shock to the system to feel your back to where u started :( xx