Fear of death

[defmunel]

Hey all,

So just like many of you, I have a deep fear of death. I have been going to counseling, and on a daily basis I am able to combat any anxious thoughts regarding daily symptoms. However, on a long term, I fear that I am going to die young. This fear prevents me from making any plans for my future. I want more children, but fear I am going to die in the process, and so, I won't get pregnant. My husband and I want to purchase a house, and an offer has been accepted. I fear that I am going to die, so the money we've saved for buying this house should stay in our bank account in case we need it for medical bills. Granted i "do" have a medical condition, sinus tachycardia with a very labile hr. Apparently it is not harmful, and does not pose any life threatening issues. I just have to be careful with my cardio exercise, so my hr doesnt get too fast. Other than that, its fine. But I can't shake the feeling or thought that I'm going to die young, and so I end up living in limbo. Content with where my life is now, and not wanting to risk any change.

Any advise? I would really like to make plans for my future. Have another child, buy a house...it is extremely difficult for me to move forward in faith.

Def

[trinidiva]

ARE you really living though? Are you really living when you worry about dying all the time? I used to feel the SAME way,down to not wanting to spend money, etc, not wanting to make travel plans, etc....the list goes on and on. I eventually one day really sat down and thought about it. Death is something that NONE of us can avoid. We just have to enjoy the time we have here...and savor every precious moment. Get out, enjoy making memories with your family, travel, laugh, truly LIVE your life. It isn't necessarily easy to make that change, I still get those nagging feelings sometimes, but I push it out of my mind by trying to stay busy.

[Blessed]

Sounds so much like me. We just have to have faith. Which is easier said than done I know. I can be happy one minute then the next a stupid thought of death or doom comes in and boom I'm back to my scared unsure shell of a self. I'm sure u are just as fed up as I am. I know the only thing that will bring me out of this is fully restoring my faith in God. He has been there when no one else has been. Best of luck to you and hang in there !

[evettehg]

I can so relate to this I think everyday goinv to be my last day I even go as far as believing I have a terminal illness that dr has not told me about I go to Dr's so often n because I have ppo I see more than one and they all say im fine. Now I try my best to not get checked slot and take my pills if I feel anxious. I find it hard to make friends cause I limits myself as to what n where I can go and the time because I feel like im going to pass away im at work now n I feel like that I go to work just to prove to myself thst im normal and im ok I talk to ppl just to prove I am ok but I fear going far from home just incase something happen or I need medical help..it just never stop with me. I just had gastric surgery April be a yr and I still think something medical is not right with me..it scare me to life and feel this way every single day of my life.

[jessed03]

This is always really, really difficult to overcome, because... well... It's not an unrealistic fear. You only have to pick up a newspaper, and realize, people die doing anything. I think it's very hard to overcome through CBT too, because how can you convince yourself you won't be a victim of death, when you know that certainly one day you will be?

The truth is, it will happen by itself, in the right frame of mind. This fear will remove itself when your head get's in the right place.

Think about it, a healthy human being, shouldn't be aware of themselves, and their own mortality. It's just something that is placed to the very back of the human mind. It isn't productive for a person to think of their death, and to contemplate it, at regular intervals.

Take your eye for example. You should never be aware of your eye. You should never even know it's there. Assuming it's healthy. It's only when the eye gets unhealthy, that it becomes aware of itself. It becomes painful, or you see spots in your vision. The same applies for the human ear. The human ear should never be aware of itself. It should never hear itself, or know it's there. It's only when the ear gets unhealthy, that you hear ringing sounds, and you become aware of it.

So that's fundamental to know. When something is healthy, it is very rarely aware of itself. A human mind is the same. When you are considering your own life, and your own mortality, it isn't a healthy state of being. I'm sure you know that already :)

What I hope this demonstrates for you, is these thoughts and questions, don't have value. They don't have significance. Not really. Instead of trying to reassure yourself, or work around them, you should simply realise it's a 'ringing noise' coming from your unhealthy (tired) mind.

As your anxiety and depression reduces, these thoughts will also reduce. So go on despite them. It's the only way your mind will overcome it's anxieties. If you have a true desire to do something, you should do it, if only slowly. Get as engrossed into life as you can, as trinidiva mentioned. This is the natural way to live. This is your natural state, your healthy state, your present state, and when you manage to get back to it, all of these natural, and 'unhealthy' things will dissipate.

As Russell Crowe says in gladiator "Death smiles at every man, all he can do, is smile back"

All the best :)