I hate everything

[perfectmess]

I know a lot of people do not respond on here to others posts and that's ok. I just need to vent. I hate when Im going through things that people think are petty but a big deal to me they act like they are exactly that...petty.
Talking to my mom about a issue in my life but every time she is around her significant other she thinks everything is funny or makes me feel worse. She talks about the things I should or shouldn't do ALWAYS. Things I should of done different or what she would of done.
My whole life Ive just felt like nothing I do on my own is good enough for her.
She even had me on speaker phone when we were talking so her and her boyfriend could sit and listen to my issue together and laugh about them and discuss them later. (She didn't know I knew it was on speaker).

This just makes me feel worse about everything. I just need an out. I just want to crawl in a hole and never be seen again.

I'm 30 with no kids and no sign of a future husband.
My lack of social ability makes the social side of my job horrible.

I really want to do better. I want to try to live a positive healthy life but then its like whats the point.

Again this is a vent. No need to respond.

[trinidiva]

Just my opinion.....

You need to find someone or someplace that will give you some honest support. Maybe if you don't have someone like that, use this forum! There are plenty of great people on here who I'm sure can relate.
I'm not trying to say anything bad about your mom, but maybe she just doesn't understand how to support you and doesn't truly understand what you are going through. I wouldn't be so free with all your anxiety issues with her if you are going to leave the conversation feeling like you are being made fun of, or diminished. Talk to your mom about other things, but perhaps not that.
What do you enjoy doing? What hobbies do you enjoy? I know it may feel like stepping outside of your box, but, say you have an interest in photography. See if your county or town offers a class, or event geared towards that. Sign up and go!!!! Make a goal to talk to one person there...ask a question, etc. You will find it much easier to make friends when you have a common interest. Nothing can be gained by sitting at home, by yourself. Trust me, make that small step. You will feel such a sense of accomplishment, and you will want to do even more.
Just don't limit yourself, ok?

[bajablue]

Your Mom has no training on how to help or react to the sincere things you tell her. We all, when feeling down, want our Moms to help. In actuality, once we are adults, our Mothers are unlikely to help much but can harm a great deal when working through things like Anxiety. You need to take the first steps to get better - see a therapist; not once but regularly. If symptoms are overwhelming or uncomfortable - see a Psychiatrist to get some medicinal help. I was 28 when I had my first panic attack on a plane during a business trip and after that they came often and harder. I did not have a resouce like this back then so I drifted from general practioner to cardiologist to internest trying to figure out what was going on. In the end I crashed - did not sleep or eat for almost a week; anxiety became depression. You do not have to get there. My events were 20+ years ago. Help in multiples is out there waiting for you but you must take the first step and your Mom is unlikely to tell you that.

[perfectmess]

My mom means no harm. Its just when you are down and out you just want to hear the right words no matter who it comes from. The problem is when you are down and out no ones words are ever the right ones to you.

I went to a counselor for about 3 years straight. I felt like I was wasting my money. Like what was I supposed to do....go for 10 years. There just seemed like no end. I needed to stand on my own and try to fend for myself in the world without someone's help for 3 years.