Mum wont even start to get over anxiety/depression

[Maxii]

Ok so I am probably in wrong place, but I could use some advise if anyone willing to help?

I caring for my mum and the problem is she wont do anything to get better. She is on medication for anxiety and depression, and we have tried our local helthcare people but they dont seem to be helping any.

I have been working from home for six month to aid her recovery, but I do not like the work I am doing and want to go back.

All we have been offered is a group anxiety course (which never materialies) and, due to the nature of my mum condition (paranoid about being left on her own in a house that 'hates' her) doesnt seem the best treatment anyway.

She doesnt want to be without me - which means I am around her a lot. I love mum but I dont want to be kept couped up like this. She also doesnt like it when I suggest trying to fix things - this ranges from refusing to do things to saying hurtful things.

I hope this is enough info - if you need more please ask.

Any help more than greatful. Thank you !

[synaptic]

thats a tough one maxii.

it sounds like your mother does need therapy. you said you were offered group therapy but it never materializes? if the people who are supposed to put that together have not been responsive enough for you, then you may want to consider seeking out assistance on your own. you may also want to consider private therapy. some do better in groups, some do better on their own. so its worth looking into both.

did something happen 6+ months ago in your mother's life that has triggered this? or if she already had some similar issues, did something happen that may have made the issue worse?

unfortunately i have yet to find a good way to get people to accept and believe in help when they dont want to hear about it. it is a good sign that your mother is at least willing to take medication in an attempt to get better. that is a start. but as you are seeing, they dont always take care of the problems on their own. usually meds are there to assist, but ultimately its up to the individual to actually work/fight to get themselves better. without that fight to get better, the pills can only do so much.

in these situations it often seems that they know there is an issue but are either too proud or too fearful to admit the depth of the problem...and are definitely too fearful to face the true source. but if something happened to trigger this extended episode, then talking about it could help. it may even help uncover deeper unresolved inner conflicts. but of course, thats what therapy sessions are for.

if my stepfather dies first, i fear my mother may land in a similar situation. she already has problems with paranoia (among other things) and an event like that could make her snap. when she was going through some particularly worrisome problems a year or so ago, i tried to get her to go into therapy but she wouldnt do it. she'd be somewhat receptive to the idea but she wouldnt follow through. my stepfather was also trying to encourrage her, but we didnt take the step of setting up an appointment for her ourselves because we were hoping to get her to take that step towards her own healing herself. thankfully those issues eased up. (though i'd still prefer if she was going to a psychiatrist to at least talk some things out.)

in your case, i suspect you probably will have to do the legwork on your own and have consultations with the doctor(s) first. once you feel you have found someone that you want to try to get your mother to work with, talk with her and setup the appointment yourself and see if you can get her to go. if necessary, you can be there with her for the first batch of sessions so she doesnt have to feel she's alone in this. you might also be able to help raise issues in the sessions that she is trying to avoid discussing. once she is more comfortable with going to therapy, then she will hopefully be able to be there on her own. this may be best since she may have more private things she needs to discuss which she may not want you to hear.

but in any case, it sounds like you are doing the right thing in trying to find her help...both for her sake and for your own. i wish you luck. :)