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View Full Version : Panic attacks and anxiety with girls



PanicAttacker
02-11-2013, 02:27 PM
For the past few months I've been struggling with anxiety, and am wondering if theres anything I could do.

Before last year I didn't want to go out with girls. The reason why was because I didn't have my drivers liscense, and thought it would be embarassing to have parents drive me on dates. Used to my heart would pound like a jackhammer when I wanted to talk to one, but now I'm able to flirt without getting nervous and when asking one out I get a little nervous but not to the point it's overwhelming.

Back around fall I asked this beautiful girl out and felt great about, until I sat down to eat. I had a really bad panic attack, and it wouldn't go away for hours. Part of me thinks maybe the reason why was because I was unsure about whether me and this girl would hit it off. I remember asking out this girl I was really in love with being barely nervous at all, and I guess it was because I was sure that things would have worked. I know the worst possible outcome would be me and a girl never going out again, or me and her breaking up after awhile. But yet I still catch myself getting really nervous like this.

After that I started struggling with panic attacks, mostly when trying to eat in public. It happened a few times, and I think I got them under control for the most part. But I still think i'll suffer one if I ask out a girl and get her number. I remember about a month ago I called a resturant that this cutie that was working at so I could ask her out. I asked to speak with her, and the person I talked to said to call back later when shes on break. I planned on calling back but ended up getting so nervous that I was kneeling on the ground swareing to myself that I won't call back because my nervousness was so overwhelming. It seems like if I make an obligation involving a girl, I get really nervous like this. I even had a dream recently where I was feeling anxiety involving girls. I got a girls number from a friend, and started sending texts to her. Then I started feeling anxious, and when I woke up I felt the same.

In my lifetime I've never had a girlfriend. The closest thing I have to one is just a few girls I know from various places that I flirt with that flirt back when I see them. On Saturday I was eating some chips in the parking lot of a store, and was about to get out. Before doing so a car drove past, and the girl in the passenger seat looked almost identical to one of the girls I flirt with often. I don't think it was her, but after seeing that I had a mild panic attack that lasted about thirty seconds.

Could the root of this be me never getting a girlfriend when I was younger? I know that little kids usually get into several casual releationships that only last a few days if even that. Despite liking a few girls, and a few girls liking me I never did, could that be the reason behind this? I really don't want to see a shrink about this, and hope to keep this secret from family/friends. Is there any way to overcome this? Please help.

alankay
02-11-2013, 03:40 PM
Oh I think this can be overcome. I think you're having anxiety and not sure you have a full blown disorder at all. You seem to manage and know what you want. Anyway I was the same. I made a huge deal of all this dating stuff. Drove myself nervous and panicky. But first realize you should start small and not get ahead of yourself. Don't think of anything more than just dates out. It will take stress off you. 1 date at a time. Don't get ahead of things.
Also there may be some reason for your feeling and fears. In this area a psychologist, not psychriatrist would be best. Who knows who'll you wind up long term. Just try and not make a date or any girl a major changing point in your life like I used to. The girls don't want to always move fast at all either. Alankay

trinidiva
02-11-2013, 03:57 PM
^^^^^ I think this is excellent advice. I also agree, I'm not sure that you actually have a true anxiety disorder. I think you just get nervous talking to someone you really like, which happens to most people in varying degrees. It IS indeed nerve wracking to talk to someone that you really like, or make the first move. Don't feel forced to make a move before you are ready, when the time is right, you 'll know.