Admitting Love...

[Lol]

So, I have been searching for the source of my anxiety for so long. Over the past 3 weeks my anxiety has reached a point to where I can no longer hold in my feelings for this one person. This one person is about to go through a life changing event and it is stressing them out to the point of anxiety also. My current bout of anxiety was triggered when this one person said they started to break down emotionally and of course, I started to worry and worry and worry to the point where I am now freaking out every day. This person is doing fine now but I am not because I have held in my feelings for this person for far too long and I am about to sit them down and admit my feelings. I know that it may be inappropriate but I think we both need some emotional support, especially if this person is going through something stressful and life changing. I also know that it won't cure my current bout of anxiety(I have gotten too far into this mess), but it will remove the source of it all and maybe I will have an easier time healing with therapy. We have been friends for over 5 years and we have enjoyed every day of it but I have been afraid to start a more meaningful relationship in fear of "messing it up".

I dont know what I am going to say except that I really care for this person and I hope to develop something more meaningful to help both of us get through the next 4 months of stress.

Right now I am on an anti-anxiety medicine and I am wondering what I should really do. I am not afraid to be rejected, I just want to let them know I care... alot...

[alankay]

Life is short. So if you think this person could handle it well if the feeling is not mutual.........go ahead. I know the feeling(many do) and it will help to get this out in the open. Now if it's not recieved well...take heart, you will bounce back in time and of that I'm sure. Just may take some time. Potentially so much to gain here. :) Alankay

[Lol]

Holy crap, it's been 3 days and I have come full circle. I realized that I have become too obsessed with this person to the point of neglecting other important parts of my life. It took me awhile to realize that she was worrying about herself and I was worrying about herself too while neglecting my own physical and mental health. Now i'm stuck with a tooth abscess. The fact that the flu and a tooth abscess did not help my underlying anxiety. Damnit, I thought I was over this nonsense because it has happened before. I still want her to be my friend but I think I need to cut my dependence off so I can operate even when she's not there. Damn, why does life have to be so cruel. I just hope this realization will give me enough confidence to get my life and self-esteem back in order. Anyone here experience something similar?