New to this!!

[Brittanyyyy]

Hi everyone! I'm new to this forum. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for the past year so this is new for me. I'm not diagnosed or anything, but sometimes I wonder if it's something more or I just need to be patient. I want to just hear from other people on here and have some people to relate to!!

[BrokenHalo7]

Hi Britt... that's so funny. We have the same name. But I'm in the same boat as you. My depression just started in late Dec 2012. I felt like I was never gonna be happy again. Its really weird though, the depression has eased up so much! It has started to fade away. It gives me hope for my future. I keep a live diary on this website. I think that has helped a lot too. It has kept me from feeling like I have no one to talk to. I know my friends get sick of me talking about it all the time. But when it hits you, Oh god. You feel like a sensation of hurt was just injected in your arm. I felt like I was in pain. It started out lasting for days. then hours, now only minutes. Its crazy. But I know that it will disappear all together one day. :) Go to a counselor that you trust. My counselor made me feel better day one. You have to take charge and tell yourself that this is your body and your mind! How dare it try to take over! Thats how I feel. I feel like I have to fight to be happy! I could go on and on. I'm sorry. lol. I just really hate this crap!

[Brittanyyyy]

Thanks so much! That's awesome we have the same name :). Well you can vent to me all you want, I love hearing other people's issues because I like helping and it makes me feel like I'm not the only one!

[Brittanyyyy]

And I know what you mean about how it feels...it came out of nowhere and it felt like there was no end in sight. I still have some issues but I'm doing alot better. What else helped you??

[BrokenHalo7]

Well I just woke up one day and started feeling really weird. I wasn't myself. It was so creepy. Girl, I gotta say, looking back at it is a blessing. That only means that its behind me. I had to get over the denial though. I couldn't believe something like that was happening to me. Then I started doing research and reaching out to people for help. It can only get better. I'm on track now. One thing I have to stop doing is being mean to myself. I think for other people. Example : If I like someone and I don't believe they should like me, I'll start thinking thoughts in my head about how they see me. I start saying crazy stuff like, Shes not pretty enough or I only wanna sleep with her. She's not smart. I will ruin the situation. Oh god forbid I do something wrong! All hell breaks loose. I just gotta learn to be me! I have to learn that there is no one like me. And if i make a mistake so what! People that mind dont matter and those that matter dont mind. Simple as that. How does your depression affect you?

[BrokenHalo7]

The main thing that help me was praying and writing. I would pray and fight my way through for happiness. Its not easy, but it can be done. I also downloaded a relaxation app on my phone. It helped me learn breathing techniques. I love the breathing techniques.But writing is the best. I dont know if you believe in god, but I pray to him everyday. and I thank him every morning as well. What helps you?

[Brittanyyyy]

That's funny it's basically how mine started too, out of nowhere one day and just this constant feeling of anxiety in my stomach like nervous about nothing all the time! I do the same thing though, constantly beat myself up, compare myself to people, worry what others will think it's so self destructive I realize now. As far as my depression, it started out just feeling anxious all the time. Then I dealt with insomnia for 6 months straight (some nights NO sleep at all, the most sleep I got in that 6 months was 5 hours), that's when the depression started. I had repetitive thoughts, mind racing, suicidal thoughts, violent thoughts, felt like a zombie for months, nothing made me happy anymore, my body and mind were completely exhausted. I don't know what finally fixed it for me, but it was a combination of meditation, counseling, talking to family, and just forcing myself to keep a good attitude and KEEP MOVING FORWARD. Things are so much better now an I'm glad to hear its the same for you!

[Brittanyyyy]

Praying is a huge one for me too! I realized I needed to find faith and spirituality more than ever to get me through confusing times!!

[BrokenHalo7]

I'm so glad you understand that! Most people forget that they can pray and continue to wait. Things will change for the better. God, thats just how mine got a hold of me! Feeling anxiety in my stomach day and night! Then that depression. I'm happy for you! So is it like completely gone or just weaker? My uncle is dealing with depression in the wrong way. He locks up in his house for months! It's really sad to think about. :(

[Brittanyyyy]

Yes! Waiting is so hard, especially for someone like me because I have no patience. But waiting is all you can really do! And it took me a long time to realize, but I have so much control over my attitude/mood and lifestyle. I realized no pill or person could do it for me, I had to take it into my own hands and make changes to better my life. The depression/anxiety is manageable at this point. Not completely gone, but so much better than it was about 6 months ago. I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle :'(. Depression is such a scary thing, and everybody handles it differently. I just feel blessed that me and you were able to get ourselves through it. It's very hard to muster up the courage and motivation to go get help or do the things you know will help you get better. I hope your uncle gets better. You're both in my thoughts! Glad to hear youre getting better! <3