Does everyone think you're crazy?

[Courtneykinns]

So ive been living with anxiety all my life, recently started having attacks about 2 months ago & they have yet to stop. But i dont have much support, my boyfriend says my anxiety ruins his life & he says im crazy & he doesnt know if he can put up with it anymore. my parents also say im a hypochondriac, nobody believes i cant control this. Does anyone else have this problem? & how can i make them believe that anxiety is more serious then they think?

[jamus75]

I've had anxiety my whole life too I guess. When I was younger I remember worrying a lot. Then later on in my teen and college years it subsided I guess with alcohol and pot and just having fun. It started with me after I got married. I'm 37 now and had for the most part constant anxiety with bouts of panic attacks. I recently told my wife about them after doing a great job hiding it for years. Didnt want to feel weak. Always have been the strong one. She supports me when I'm panicky and tries to help. If your BF really cared he would support you. I know people actually think this problem is not a big deal bc they have NO idea how it works. Doctors don't even understand it. Only people who have anxiety and panic attacks know. That's it. I hear all the time " just relax and don't think about it " yeah if I could do that then I wouldn't have an issue.

[scared44]

Well said :-)

[Saldav]

Have your parents and boyfriend do some research on these disorders. I know reading and researching doesn't make a person that doesn't understand exactly what we go through on a daily basis completely know the feelings and symptoms.

it's not the same as actually going through a panic/anxiety attack, but I wouldn't wish that to my worse enemy. Be honest with your thoughts and feeling with your parents, your boyfriend sounds like a dick so f@ck him and move on. You need support and if you can't get it at home well we'll do our best to help you here in this forum.

Good luck:)

[Saldav]

I've had anxiety my whole life too I guess. When I was younger I remember worrying a lot. Then later on in my teen and college years it subsided I guess with alcohol and pot and just having fun. It started with me after I got married. I'm 37 now and had for the most part constant anxiety with bouts of panic attacks. I recently told my wife about them after doing a great job hiding it for years. Didnt want to feel weak. Always have been the strong one. She supports me when I'm panicky and tries to help. If your BF really cared he would support you. I know people actually think this problem is not a big deal bc they have NO idea how it works. Doctors don't even understand it. Only people who have anxiety and panic attacks know. That's it. I hear all the time " just relax and don't think about it " yeah if I could do that then I wouldn't have an issue.

So true bro!

[Courtneykinns]

I've had anxiety my whole life too I guess. When I was younger I remember worrying a lot. Then later on in my teen and college years it subsided I guess with alcohol and pot and just having fun. It started with me after I got married. I'm 37 now and had for the most part constant anxiety with bouts of panic attacks. I recently told my wife about them after doing a great job hiding it for years. Didnt want to feel weak. Always have been the strong one. She supports me when I'm panicky and tries to help. If your BF really cared he would support you. I know people actually think this problem is not a big deal bc they have NO idea how it works. Doctors don't even understand it. Only people who have anxiety and panic attacks know. That's it. I hear all the time " just relax and don't think about it " yeah if I could do that then I wouldn't have an issue.

I agree! Anxiety is so hard to explain & people think you can brush it off! & you cant. I always feel crappy every single day of my life & nobody understands! You can't just switch off anxiety. The only time i feel okay is when im on medication, & im trying not to build a tolerance, so i dont want to be on it all the time, so i suffer all night alone because im an insomniac. Im exhausted! & no one understands.
If its not one thing its something else, last week i was dealing with palpitations, now im dealing with the inside of my body feeling like its vibrating. Its always something new!

[Peejay]

It is very difficult for people who have not suffered in this way to fully understand. When I feel OK, I am confident that I will be able to cope easily when I am anxious, but when we are anxious it is not easy to accept it and brush it away. I would tell BF that you don't want to be like this, and also tell him that he needs to understand the way you need to try and get better, so he can support your efforts.... maybe then he will feel less confused and more tolerant.

[jamus75]

My biggest issue seems to be my heart and what it's doing. Beating too fast, too hard, skipped beats. Multiple tests and trips to ER showed nothing. All in my head. I think even the docs and nurses at the ER were somewhat irritated I was there for basically nothing. People won't understand it but they can support you if they care. Don't try and make anyone understand except maybe a professional. They won't. They can't. It's not something they can grasp. They think your a hypochondriac or just worrying too much. They will never understand but you don't need them to. Just to accept you are dealing with this and give you support.

[Courtneykinns]

My biggest issue seems to be my heart and what it's doing. Beating too fast, too hard, skipped beats. Multiple tests and trips to ER showed nothing. All in my head. I think even the docs and nurses at the ER were somewhat irritated I was there for basically nothing. People won't understand it but they can support you if they care. Don't try and make anyone understand except maybe a professional. They won't. They can't. It's not something they can grasp. They think your a hypochondriac or just worrying too much. They will never understand but you don't need them to. Just to accept you are dealing with this and give you support.

I have a problem with my heart too! I always have my hand on my chest & unless it sounds "perfect" i get super anxious. I went to the ER on friday & everything turned out good, yet im STILL freaking out about. Yeah its soo much harder when you dont have support, you feel so alone & depressed. I do have support from my bestfriend who knows how i feel, & my parents are starting to understand. But they're not there just yet.
I know exactly what you're going through with your heart. Its sooo scary, & no matter how many times someone says you're okay, its so hard to believe when you feel the way anxiety makes you feel.

[jamus75]

I've been slowly learning to deal with panic attacks and can even shut some down. I'm not always successful and they can still own me but I have fought back. The worst thing you can do is ignore them. They may seems like they are getting better but it's an illusion. I went four years with no panic attacks or severe anxious moments. Thought they were gone, even my checkups at doc were fine then one day they came back with really no trigger. I have shut a few down by acknowledging what they were and telling myself before it got bad that I wasn't going to let them happen this time. Another thing I started doing when that don't work is just let them in and try not to resist them. Let myself get fully panicked and then tell myself that that's the worst thing that's going to happen. Nothing else. Like I said it Don't work everytime but its a start and they have been better than they were a year ago.

[dazza]

I'm on the fence with this one.

If you're good at explaining stuff and people respect you as a mature & honest person then they tend to listen and will understand.

If people already think you're a joker and don't hold much respect for you then they're unlikely to take you seriously.

It also depends on who you're talking to. The stupider & less mature THEY are - the less likely they are to listen.


Sorry, but it's true!

[Courtneykinns]

I'm on the fence with this one.

If you're good at explaining stuff and people respect you as a mature & honest person then they tend to listen and will understand.

If people already think you're a joker and don't hold much respect for you then they're unlikely to take you seriously.

It also depends on who you're talking to. The stupider & less mature THEY are - the less likely they are to listen.

Sorry, but it's true!

But i feel a lot of people who have never went through on going anxiety believe that you can snap out of it. I think that some people think that anxiety suffers cause their own anxiety. & that can be the case in some situations but not all.
I think no matter how much someone "respects" you, if they've never been through this, they wont fully understand, they'll still sit there & think its not hard to get rid of it. But a lot of people who've never had it try to understand. & yeah i agree! Close minded people will never understand. But my parents are starting to realize that what ive been going through is more then they thought.

[jamus75]

Dazza you have absolutely no reason to say that. What even would make you think she was a joker. Your post like most I've noticed on here are not helpful in any way.

[trinidiva]

I'm on the fence with this one.

If you're good at explaining stuff and people respect you as a mature & honest person then they tend to listen and will understand.

If people already think you're a joker and don't hold much respect for you then they're unlikely to take you seriously.

It also depends on who you're talking to. The stupider & less mature THEY are - the less likely they are to listen.

Sorry, but it's true!

Not sure if I totally agree with you on this on Dazza. People who have not experienced anxiety issues just cannot fully relate. I have a pretty strong support system, parents who listen, a husband who listens and supports me....he works in healthcare field and has encountered many people dealing with anxiety issues...but even with all of that, I still have heard " you just need to stop worrying". I try to explain that if it were that easy, I would of done that a LONG time ago....they just simply cannot relate. That's the main reason I come here..to this forum. I really need to talk to people who truly understand.

[dazza]

Ok, take an example:

Person 1:

An 18 year old with little experience in life. Has many days off work because of hangovers and has a typical teenage attitude.

Develops anxiety disorder and tries to explain this to boss.

You reckon boss is going to listen?


Person 2:

An 40 year old with a professional career, well spoken and well respected by all.

Developes anxiety disorder and explains to boss.

Boss will listen.


Perhaps a little simplistic but you catch my drift?

[dazza]

My boss & colleagues listened. I made them understand.

My mother does understand but REFUSES to believe that any of her children could develop a mental health issue.
The problem here is that mum sees it as her/parents fault & therefore denies it's existence. No parent will take this easily as it means blaming themselves.

Anyway, I think it depends on the method you choose to explain it.

In the first instance, no-one can deny that mental health problems actually exist. They are VERY common... so, 10's or 100's of millions of people can't be lying, can they.

Secondly, the concept of fight or flight shouldn't be that hard to explain nor grasp.
It makes perfect sense.

[justconfused]

I agree! Anxiety is so hard to explain & people think you can brush it off! & you cant. I always feel crappy every single day of my life & nobody understands! You can't just switch off anxiety. The only time i feel okay is when im on medication, & im trying not to build a tolerance, so i dont want to be on it all the time, so i suffer all night alone because im an insomniac. Im exhausted! & no one understands.
If its not one thing its something else, last week i was dealing with palpitations, now im dealing with the inside of my body feeling like its vibrating. Its always something new!

The inside body vibrating I have been experiencing all night. It got so annoying that I could feel my body slightly moving on the pillow and bed and I kept rolling over trying to get rid of it.

[trinidiva]

My boss & colleagues listened. I made them understand.

My mother does understand but REFUSES to believe that any of her children could develop a mental health issue.
The problem here is that mum sees it as her/parents fault & therefore denies it's existence. No parent will take this easily as it means blaming themselves.

Anyway, I think it depends on the method you choose to explain it.

In the first instance, no-one can deny that mental health problems actually exist. They are VERY common... so, 10's or 100's of millions of people can't be lying, can they.

Secondly, the concept of fight or flight shouldn't be that hard to explain nor grasp.
It makes perfect sense.

I understand your point, however, I truly believe they can only understand to a point. Don't get me wrong, my family tries their hardest to understand and are very sweet, and do their best to help, but I think they don't TRULY get it. For instance, my husband broke his arm a few years ago. I definitely sympathized with the pain he was feeling and did all I could to make him comfortable, but I truly couldn't understand the pain he was feeling because I have never experienced a broken bone. Kind of the same thing, I guess.
That's why I really appreciate my doctor, not only does she have the medical knowledge, but she has suffered from panic attacks and anxiety in the past so when she tells me that she understands, I know she truly does.