Is my life over?

[Robbed]

Before October 20, 2006, I was actually a fairly fun-loving, happy-go-lucky sort of guy. Yes, there were things like career and my future in general that bothered me. In fact, on October 20, I arranged a meeting with someone to start my Master' project. And I received a new project for one of my classes that looked rather intimidating. However, I would not have suspected that this might cause problems. But problems are precisely what occurred. I went to bed as usual. But I just could NOT fall asleep for the world! This worried me. Finally, I fell asleep at around the time I normally get up and stayed asleep for a few hours. But I just didn't feel right the next day. In the evening, I started to feel somewhat anxious about going to bed again. And like the previous night, I could not sleep. As the night progressed, I started to feel REALLY anxious and almost reached a panic state. Since that time, I have felt anxious most of the time (sometimes for no perceivable reason but mostly because I am afraid that I will not get better). I have also felt depressed at times, sometimes for a few weeks at a time (mostly over my condition). The world feels somewhat unreal much of the time. I still don't sleep too well. I often have to take lorazepam to sleep (but I don't take it at any other time, and I am on no other meds). And I have even experienced some mild OCD-type symptoms from time to time (harm thoughts, which the sticky lists as an anxiety symptom, and which my therapist said will probably subside if/when the anxiety does). These thoughts a It feels like this whole thing MIGHT be getting a little better with time. I do seem to have more energy and motivation than at first. And the surreal feelings are not as persistent. But it's hard to say. And I can still have some REALLY bad days or weeks. I also continue to feel REALLY scared that this is the way the rest of my life will be. Furthermore, my therapist WON'T tell me that this is a condition that time will simply take care of.

Have you ever heard of anxiety coming out of the blue and knocking you to the ground like this? Could it just be that stress has taken its toll? Is there reason to hope that I can recover from this? Or is this going to be something that will be with me for years to come, possibly the rest of my life?

[blaze1dave]

hi robbed, although your anxiety felt like it came out of the blue, it may be a lot of bottled up stress expressing itself. the same thing happened to me over a year and a half ago, my anxiety started with one thing then spread to every area of my life like simply going to a friends or seeing my parents. the thing with anxiety that makes it such a b#stard is that it feeds of your emotions creating a never ending circle of worry. although it feels extremely difficult time HAS helped me and just the knowledge that these feelings CANNOT hurt you makes it better for me, it is a long process and you HAVE to stop thinking it will last forever because this fuels your anxiety thus making it stay with you. Hope this has helped.
good luck!

[V for Victor]

Blaze1dave got it right: These feelings aren't dangerous, they're just feelings. However, they can be dangerous if they become extreme enough that you try to harm yourself, or start using illegal drugs, etc. After many, many years, they can also take a toll on your heart and nervous system.

But that's why you should start fighting now!

Sometimes anxiety and depression can go away on their own, especially if they're just a result of some temporary stress. However, they don't ALWAYS go away, and when they do, it's not always forever.

The best thing you can do is start fighting it, and then you can learn to take control of anxiety and depression so that in the future, you'll be better prepared for their return. You might speak to your doctor/therapist about some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques, or other exercises you can do to relax and deal with anxiety.

[Robbed]

the same thing happened to me over a year and a half ago

So is your anxiety still going strong after a year and a half? Or has it significantly improved or resolved? Also, is it quite typical that you can go through times where you feel like you are maybe on the verge of overcoming it, only to be plunged back into it big time? My therapist claims ups and downs are normal. But some of what I experience (in terms of ups and downs) seems a little extreme.

[blaze1dave]

i wouldnt say it is going strong but it is still there, but it has definately improved now i understand it better. i have ups and downs and they are completely extreme, one day i cant go on the next im fine!. you will have these and from my experience if you have ups and downs it usually means you are starting to address the problem and are on the road to recovery. all the best and send me a message if you ever want to.

[V for Victor]

I too tend to experience ups and downs. For me, the most important thing to remember is that the downs will pass. Don't read too much into them, they are just a part of the ride.