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View Full Version : Do you need to stop caring to be able to stop worrying? I'm worried about Sex, help??



Kranky123
01-15-2013, 11:20 AM
I read on an anxiety website that to stop anxiety you have to:
1) Never avoid what you worry about
2) Stop caring about having anxiety or not
3) Be okay with having anxiety.

Now this is my problem. I'm really worried about having Sex with my boyfriend. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I'm really really worried about it.

But if I go by what that website says, surely I should have sex even if I am really worried?

Do I have to stop caring about how worried I feel to be able to stop worrying about this?

I want to wait until I'm less worried, but that means I'm not okay with how worried I'm feeling. I read you need to be okay with how you feel. But I'm not okay with it because I only want to have sex when I'm less worried

Can I stop worrying about having sex? Do I have to stop caring about how worried I am? Or can I sit here and wait until I'm less worried, keeping an eye on it so I know when I'm okay with how worried I am.

Chiliphil1
01-15-2013, 12:26 PM
This may be a different situation.

When they speak of not caring about anxiety, they are talking about things like public speaking, being in a crowd, etc..

Also included would be those who have gad, panic attacks, and so forth. For them you have to stop fearing the feeling of anxiety.

As for your question, it sounds to me like it's simply something you are not ready for, it's not anxiety stopping you but the fact that you're not ready is causing anxiety but you're blaming the wrong thing.

My suggestion, wait until you are ready and comfortable, don't rush or force something like this, it's not like going to the movies when you're afraid to, this is a bit bigger of a thing.