How to bring the walls down...

[laurandisorder]

In dealing with generalized anxiety and a host of other mental illness issues, I have found myself becoming a very guarded person. I have walls up as a self defense mechanism and of course to hide the aspects of myself - such as the panic attacks and anxiety - from the rest of the world.

As a result, I have found myself with very few friends. I struggle to 'let go' and really have fun, which leaves me coming across with a mega bitch vibe - I have been told this to my face!! In spite of my issues, I actually crave friendship and a more social life.

How do I start to bring these walls down? How do I overcome people's first impressions of me (bi-arch!!!!) and let them get to know the real me? Any advice would be welcome.

[dazza]

In dealing with generalized anxiety and a host of other mental illness issues, I have found myself becoming a very guarded person. I have walls up as a self defense mechanism and of course to hide the aspects of myself - such as the panic attacks and anxiety - from the rest of the world.

As a result, I have found myself with very few friends. I struggle to 'let go' and really have fun, which leaves me coming across with a mega bitch vibe - I have been told this to my face!! In spite of my issues, I actually crave friendship and a more social life.

How do I start to bring these walls down? How do I overcome people's first impressions of me (bi-arch!!!!) and let them get to know the real me? Any advice would be welcome.

Strange... because you have such a lurrrvvllyy, warm, caring, snuggly wuggly, fluffy wuffy personality on-line!

I love you even if no-one else does :-)

[hunn3yy]

I have the same problem. I think just talking regularly to people and once they do things like as you to hang out you can just be honest and say I have bad anxiety that makes it hard for me to do regular stuff and unfortunately it makes me come off as bitchy but I'm just scared. Just be honest, if the person doesn't understand then they are not worth your time.

[dazza]

I have the same problem. I think just talking regularly to people and once they do things like as you to hang out you can just be honest and say I have bad anxiety that makes it hard for me to do regular stuff and unfortunately it makes me come off as bitchy but I'm just scared. Just be honest, if the person doesn't understand then they are not worth your time.

Doubt if anyone will understand that to be honest. They'll probably just look at you like you're a nutter & avoid you from then on... lol

[dazza]

The thing is, you say you crave socialising... BUT, you also say you're a bit crabby, so how is this going to work?

You can't force friendships & socialising. You can't force yourself to be "nice" if you're not feeling "nice".

You gotta feel "nice" in yourself first.

[laurandisorder]

I have the 'nice' in me - and the funny, but I think that the fact that I am super self-concious and always on guard comes through a lot - even though I try to relax.

I have been gold that I also just look like a bitch - by close friends, who usually hate my guts when they first meet me. I struggle to relate to girls and women because I mainly socialise with guys and I know how to talk to them - I make them laugh, tease them a bit (and allow them to tease me back without being a pussy about it) and I'm in for life.

With women that doesn't work - they want deeper stuff. Stuff about feelings and relationships and all that stuff is the stuff I struggle with. People are generally nice to me, but I just tend to get overlooked. I guess I just have to try and be more open and less superficial.