Ex boyfriend drama

[amy09]

Hey girlies, got some ex bf drama if y'all can help me out! Basically we broke up in the summer, he wanted to be friends with benefits and I agreed but I decided it wasn't the right thing. I got busy with college work and my internship. Recently he called me to talk about things, maybe work our issues out and just start over.
I was ok when I was alone, I mean going to school and work kept me busy all the time but now that I'm on winter break I feel lonely and I miss him. I posted here a few times stating that my anxiety is over fear of throwing up, school and my health. I do have an acute eating disorder because my fear of throwing up so I'm pretty OCD and make sure my food is cooked right etc...

So he is inviting me tomorrow night for a sleepover to talk things through, deep down I know majority of the answers are going to be don't go but I guess I need to see if so I can reminds myself :) haha!

[mrsmischief]

Hey girlies, got some ex bf drama if y'all can help me out! Basically we broke up in the summer, he wanted to be friends with benefits and I agreed but I decided it wasn't the right thing. I got busy with college work and my internship. Recently he called me to talk about things, maybe work our issues out and just start over.
I was ok when I was alone, I mean going to school and work kept me busy all the time but now that I'm on winter break I feel lonely and I miss him. I posted here a few times stating that my anxiety is over fear of throwing up, school and my health. I do have an acute eating disorder because my fear of throwing up so I'm pretty OCD and make sure my food is cooked right etc...

So he is inviting me tomorrow night for a sleepover to talk things through, deep down I know majority of the answers are going to be don't go but I guess I need to see if so I can reminds myself :) haha!

As long as you keep him in your life, even as friends with benefits, you are preventing yourself from the possibility of meeting someone new. If youre lonely then join a club, get a hobby, start attending open mics or stand up comedy, etc. whatever you do just dont go back to him. Thsts my advice.

[dazza]

You probably only miss him coz you're lonely & haven't found anyone else - a common mistake amongst newly, broken relationships.

Sadly, what often happens is that this going back & forth will continue for years... wasting both your lives away.

You gotta remember WHY you broke up. This reason(s) is invariably unsolvable, no matter how hard you try.

"Sex with an ex" is often great, but underlying compatibility issues remain.

I don't believe in "soul mate" and "the one and only". From experience, there's always someone else waiting around the corner. :-D
Generally - as you mature you make better choices in a partner... so every new partner is often heaps better than the last.

Obviously, with OCD / anxiety / panic - you need to tread a little more carefully where forming new relationships is concerned.

By the way... when a bloke invites you for a "sleepover", it generally means he wants to shag you, LOL

[amy09]

Haha thanks guys. I'm not going, I just needed re assurance. I'm usually not this weak I guess I just felt a little lonely. But it's fine, I go back to college next week and I work so busy busy me.
I know this is an anxiety forum so I feel pretty stupid posting a ex bf drama thread my bad!

But I will introduce myself I'm Amy and I'm 22 years old going to college majoring in biology and going to pharmacy graduate school after. My anxiety is mainly around my health. I have a fear of throwing up so eating is an issue with me. I love food and my anxiety over throwing up literally stopped but I got the stomach bug 2 months back and that obviously triggered my anxiety back. It really sucks having your fear come true you know? But I feel like when it happened it was not horrible and I'm learning go cope with it. I eat healthy and make sure I eat 5 small meals a day. I am tiny person 5'6 100 lb. want to gain weight desperately. I do see a therapist and am on 25mg of Zoloft. So far so good!

[dazza]

Cute and only 22... why on earth would you wanna get settled down now anyway!???

Sheeshh!

Go have some fun first!

(Just my opinion)

[amy09]

Haha thank you :) yeah your right! What is your story if you don't mind talking about it?

[granty]

So what did you do did you go round his? Lol

[amy09]

Nope I didn't go, I guess that day I felt lonely but I'm better now lol.

[granty]

Good girl lol plenty more fish in the sea and all that

[amy09]

Haha thanks. I'll be busy now going to class and work! So how are you doing today?

[dazza]

so what did you do did you go round his? Lol

giggity...

[amy09]

Haha thanks, I'll be busy now with school and work. Do how are you doing today?

[granty]

I'm not to bad got the flu which doesn't help anxiety :( I'm grant if u hasn't worked that out lol

[amy09]

Lol well the flu sucks I had it a couple months ago. What's your anxiety mainly about?
Mines about my health and fear of throwing up. So when I got the stomach bug 2 months back it completely triggered my anxiety again. Its not as horrible anymore, try and eat 5 small meals a day and keep myself busy. I am desperately trying to gain weight though only 5'6 100 lbs lol.

[granty]

Mine GAD, mine comes on for know reason mainly maybe have fear off getting ill to! Where u from?

[amy09]

I live in Texas but originally middle eastern you?

[amy09]

I live in Texas but originally middle Eastern you?

[granty]

I live England

[Saldav]

[QUOTE="amy09"]Lol well the flu sucks I had it a couple months ago. What's your anxiety mainly about?
Mines about my health and fear of throwing up. So when I got the stomach bug 2 months back it completely triggered my anxiety again. Its not as horrible anymore, try and eat 5 small meals a day and keep myself busy. I am desperately trying to gain weight though only 5'6 100 lbs lol.[/QUOI'm 6'2 305lbs. I would give you as much pounds as you needed if it was possible. Lol

[amy09]

Haha when in stressed I don't eat which is opposite from a lot of people

[kiki86]

Hey, I'm Candice, 26 single mom and new to this app. I am the exact same way! I have ex drama (with father of my 2 year old boy) and I have sever anxiety. I don't eat when I'm stressed and have a horrible fear of throwing up. It's a horrible cycle because if I don't eat I feel sick which makes me more anxious. It was so bad when I was around 20 that I lost weight (I'm 5'7 normally weigh 105 but went down to 95). 10 pounds to many wouldn't be a big deal but it is for me. I was so sick I couldn't even sit up without overwhelming nausea for 8 months. (Stemmed from sexual abuse and loss of my grandma who I was very close to) I ended up having to move home and go to therapy. Years later I now am a single mom (after a horribly emotionally, mentally, sexually, verbally abusive relationship of which I managed to kick him out and signing the custody papers in feb but can't seem to stop hanging out with...due to low self esteem among many other reasons) who hasn't worked since I was pregnant and now back down to 95 pounds, doing outpatient therapy at a mental health hospital, on a waiting list for eating disorder clinic at a different hospital and just a few weeks ago applied for disability as I have been on social assistance since my son was born. So with that said, ex drama SUCKS and I completely understand about the fear of throwing up and not eating when anxious! Your not alone!!

[kiki86]

Oh and I am the same with cooking. I over cook all meat (the kinds I do eat because I'm super picky) i won't eat/drink something that expires that day, I won't eat big meals because if I eat too much I feel sick. I bring a plastic bag with me everywhere in case I feel sick. I feel sick a LOT however I haven't actually thrown up in years because I will do anything in my power to keep it in even if it means feeling sick for hours. I dropped out of college because of anxiety. It's awful.

[amy09]

Wow I can't believe you have been through so much and j seriously can't believe I just met someone who also has a fear of throwing up. You don't realize how happy I am because I can talk to you and you'll understand. I'm 22 going to college and recently I threw up from the stomach bug. I mean it literally feels like my fear slapped me in the face. During it, wasn't horrible felt like a burp but liquid coming out. Sorry for the elaborate details. But ever since that i am scares to eat. I think I kinda developed acid reflux too because whenever I eat it kinda burns and its hard to swallow.. But no heartburn and lots of burping. I'm a hypochondriac so I think something is wrong with me even though docs say I'm normal. I mean I know I'm normal and I know lots of people are going through way worse diseases but I just can't seem to wrap it around my head. I'm 5'6 and only 100 pounds and I seriously need to gain weight. Could you recommend some foods that you eat or help you gain weight? I tried drinking ensure but ugh it's just water and sugar. And to top it all of, I still have a little corner for my ex :(

[kiki86]

Aw hun, you can talk to me for sure! Back when I was 20 I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and anorexia. Now I am in a program at a mental health program and was diagnosed with Bipolar, severe anxiety, and anorexia however when I was talking to the lady (an over the phone assessment to see if I qualify for their program) she was shocked because I am a rare case. I'm not a typical anorexic person. I don't count calories, I WANT to eat! I miss eating! (I used to eat like a pig before all my anxieties kicked in) I also have acid reflux which is why I feel so sick when I don't eat. So when I do eat I get scared what I eat will make me sick. I also fear of being stuck somewhere and not having food and being hungry. So because of this I always pack a bunch of snacks or a sandwich lol my friends all make fun of me and as on random occasions what I have that day. It's so bad I pack a full meal in my purse if I go to a wedding even in case I don't like the food. It's embarrassing and awful but my friends expect it now. I wish I had advice on food to eat to gain weight. I can't seem to get back up to my normal 105...still at 95. I drink Boost with protein, carnation instant breakfasts with soya milk (I'm won't drink milk, eat yogurt and a few other dairy things, I also can't drink anything carbonated, alcohol, and more because they make me feel sick yet I eat some other dairy things like cheese lol....weird? Yup! That's me:) ) so for now I can't give much advice as I'm just starting my own path of getting better. I now have a team of 3 people at one hospital, and once I start the anorexic program I will have about 4 there, plus my therapist wants me to go get therapy at a woman's shelter for the sexual abuse by 3 separate people in the course of my life. Not going to lie, everyday is a struggle. Taking medication is a big accomplishment everyday, being the best mom I can be is hard work but its the most rewarding. I feel like being a mom is the only thing I am good at. I think your amazing at still being in school. Also remember an ex is an ex for a reason especially if you broke it off. If this guy brings you down then kick him to the curb. (Advice I need to follow!!!) don't ever be ashamed to get help, fight for it if you have to to get the right help for you! It took me years to be referred to the program and months on a waiting list. Research and see what's out there if you need it. Maybe see a dietician. (That's part of the program I'm waiting on) research smoothies and recipes that are easy to whip together. I am always on google. Lol

[amy09]

I sent you a private message so we could talk more :)

[kiki86]

Omg I just wrote you a huge!!! Message only to try and send it and it said I needed to respond to 10 threads and I only had 3 in order to send a private message. Then it wouldn't even let me save or copy the message. It's gone. Want to send me your email in the private message and I will use actual email and write another one in the next couple days. I'm too annoyed to type it all out again right now lol stupid app!! Grrr

[amy09]

Omg ugh I didn't even get a notification when you wrote this thread. How lame. Yes I want to continue talking!
Email me :)
[email protected]
And hopefully I'll get it this time!

[amy09]

Or we can talk here and you can respond ten times haha.how are you doing today doll?

[kiki86]

Well this is number 5 I think:) haha I had a good day, super busy day. I went for a long walk with my son then dropped the dog off and we walked to the plaza and did some light shopping and played in the mc Donald's play place for what seemed like forever lol then we got home and he went to his dads for the night so I have just been relaxing all night:) how was your day? How are you feeling?

[amy09]

Well that's good, I'm doing well. I'm actually getting ready for my pharmacy technician state board exam tomorrow. I'm going to school to become a pharmacist so right now I'm doing an internship at cvs to learn more about the field I'm getting into. I go to college and hopefully graduate in a year and head to pharmacy school! So I'm just studying haha. Been eating recently so Thats good but my jaw has been hurting for some odd reason, I think I clench my jaw at night. I've been pretty stresses lately :( how old is your son? Is it just you and him?

[kiki86]

Wow that's amazing! Good for you! You should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished so far. I'm sure it must be super stressful! Good luck on your exam tomorrow and with studying. I bet you will do a fantastic job. Just stay focused:) my son turned 2 end of October and yes it's just us. His dad has partial custody but I have him more since I'm not working and have him all day. Today is a lazy day. My son was dropped off at 6am by his father so I was up at 5:30 which is way too early! I am counting down to his bedtime at 8 (it's only 3:10 now....omg) then I have to struggle to stay awake to watch greys anatomy lol

[amy09]

Omg!!! I love Greys anatomy eeek! Can't wait I still have to watch the last episode haha. I Also watch vampires diaries lol. But thank you girl, it is stressful but slowly but surely I'm getting there. I take adderall xr because I just found out I have ADHD so it's Definietly working for me I feel more focused and less hyper active. Lots of people who take adderall illegally tell me it keeps you buzzed and awake but for me it's the opposite cuz I mean first I'm prescribed it and second I have ADHD so it calms me down to focus better. And I started Zoloft to help with test anxiety and so I can start eating better after throwing up. I use to take it last year because my ex and I broke up and it was really hard for me to let go ever though he was emotionally abusing me bad. But I only took it for 6 months and hopefully now I only take it for 6 months. I'm not really into medicine I like to cope things naturally by doing yoga and writing a journal also working out. But for now I need the Zoloft and I'm ok for only taking it for 6 months. What do you do in your spare time and do you go to school still or have you graduated?

[kiki86]

Hey, I dropped out the first time I went to college then I was an apprentice for hair styling, worked at a salon for a year and a half, and did a semester of school (2full days every week) however that's when I got pregnant and never went back. My ex was and still is abusive in many ways and my mental illness is so bad I can't work so I have been on assistance for a long time and applied for disability back in march and was denied but just applied again with the help of the mental health program I'm in over the the Christmas break and they said they have never helped someone who has been denied so I'm very hopeful this time around. Now it's just a waiting game until I get it. I don't even think about not getting it. I just believe I will because that's what has to happen lol everyday that goes by is like a ticking bomb. The day I get that and the day I finalize custody and child support (court date on feb 5!!!) I will be celebrating those days. A huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders. I'm also waiting on subsidized day care to make it easier to get to my apts. I don't own a car and my apt is an hour and a half bus/walk each way and I can't be taking my son for that. It's bad enough for me to do it alone with my anxiety! Plus doctors think time to myself during the day to do something for me whether its walking my dog alone, cleaning, going to the gym to do what I can, volunteer somewhere would be beneficial for me and getting my son socialized with other kids and on a routine would help him so we shall see how long that wait list is lol I don't know when or if I will ever be able to go back to school or work. I'm hoping I can because I really really want to! I miss working at my salon. So we shall see. It's an uphill battle but I'd rather be going up than sliding down!

[amy09]

I passed my state board exam! Ah I feel great :) how are you doing today? I'm glad your progressing girl, I'm proud of you for kicking your guy to the curb I wish I had your confidence. I still talk to my ex and want him back eventhough he made it clear he does not want me :( idk why in the right mind that I think if I continue talking to him and being there for him he will want me back. Just ugh I wish I can see that me being alone right now is a good thing, I have more energy, Im getting my school work done and I just feel more calm but sadly time to time I wish I still was with him. Bleh.