Peter Bradbury
01-05-2013, 12:49 PM
Hello, i`m Peter a 27yo and i`m my sister pointed this site out to me so i thought i`d try it myself. I find my myself finding it very hard to leave the house as i`m very nervy and feel completely out of my depth on nights out or when few friends i have, ask me to join them on their evenings. The stupid thing is i can get the tram from the City and head to one sporting venue and not feel worried hardly, except the football as i run home as i`m always afraid i`ll be caught up with trouble and get attacked on night games. But when asked to go out to a Staff party of or a night out i tend to say "NO or i can`t" As i struggle to speak with people as i find myself very dull and boring & not much to say for myself.
And i went i do go to these events i get a bit excited going and then once there i tense up and freeze as it completely out of my Comfort zone leaving the house when it`s about 7 or 8pm. Everyone goes to these events enjoying themselves and having a great time and the fact i`m very shy too, basically i sit in the corner with a drink and try to avoid speaking as i`m every nervy and i always think i`ll have a Asthma attack as i`ve a mild case Of it .
I struggle badly speaking to girls as i`ve low confidence in myself and scared to just say hi to them, As i feel like i`m body double for the hunchback and i just seem to think they all look at me and think i`m ugly and pray i don`t talk to them. I`m always told i need to get out more as i leave the house for nights out about 1 a year maybe excluding staff doo. I`m very hard on myself and when i am i don`t want to look at people or communicate as i feel ppl are talking about me behind my back and laughing. As i`ve suffered from depression for 3 yrs and took Citalopram just finished my 2nd lot of them and need to go back.
But i always having up and down days, and is a mixture of my shyness,depression and anxiety i feel. Plus i feel my asthma is triggered by my anxiety as i tend to get worst when i worry. And i`ll be honest and say i`ve had many many days and night at work or home when i`ve cried due to how i am, ppl tell me to change but i`m Weak Willed and quit very easily as i think to myself if it will taking ages i`m bound to fail and feel worse,so i then stop.
Just feel very very messed up my life really, as i have more bad stuff outweighing the good stuff. And i`ve lost friends from my negative behaviour and so my co workers that were friend now ignore me and lead me to be the black sheep of my department.
And i went i do go to these events i get a bit excited going and then once there i tense up and freeze as it completely out of my Comfort zone leaving the house when it`s about 7 or 8pm. Everyone goes to these events enjoying themselves and having a great time and the fact i`m very shy too, basically i sit in the corner with a drink and try to avoid speaking as i`m every nervy and i always think i`ll have a Asthma attack as i`ve a mild case Of it .
I struggle badly speaking to girls as i`ve low confidence in myself and scared to just say hi to them, As i feel like i`m body double for the hunchback and i just seem to think they all look at me and think i`m ugly and pray i don`t talk to them. I`m always told i need to get out more as i leave the house for nights out about 1 a year maybe excluding staff doo. I`m very hard on myself and when i am i don`t want to look at people or communicate as i feel ppl are talking about me behind my back and laughing. As i`ve suffered from depression for 3 yrs and took Citalopram just finished my 2nd lot of them and need to go back.
But i always having up and down days, and is a mixture of my shyness,depression and anxiety i feel. Plus i feel my asthma is triggered by my anxiety as i tend to get worst when i worry. And i`ll be honest and say i`ve had many many days and night at work or home when i`ve cried due to how i am, ppl tell me to change but i`m Weak Willed and quit very easily as i think to myself if it will taking ages i`m bound to fail and feel worse,so i then stop.
Just feel very very messed up my life really, as i have more bad stuff outweighing the good stuff. And i`ve lost friends from my negative behaviour and so my co workers that were friend now ignore me and lead me to be the black sheep of my department.