Clinggy/needy

[LornaLoo]

I find myself feeling very upset And lonely when I'm not with my family/boyfriend. I miss them so much that my heart actually feels heavy and I just want to cry. It sounds really stupid so I just wondered if this was an anxiety thing and if anyone else suffered with a similar emotion?

[jhunter89]

Every day lol

[raggamuffin]

I get the same, but paired with that I get very jealous and angry easily. Not violent or anything, just a short fuse. Starting up CBT on Thursday to address this, amongst the returning anxiety. Alas it ruined a relationship. She had a lot of issues too though and us dating seemed like the wrong place at the wrong time. Oh well, life goes on. Always thought the clingyness and neediness would go after several yeards single, but then the women I dated since, it never changed. A lot of self confidence issues amongst other things. Here's to hoping things imrpove.

Anxiety does make you feel very needy though. When you don't feel safe within your own body you need a lot of coddling to get by.

Ed

[jhunter89]

Yes I get very jealous too and fly off the handle a bit.

[raggamuffin]

Yeah, it really does suck. That paired with the first and 3rd gf cheating and I have little to no trust. Can't say everyone's the same, but it's hard to trust again.

Ed

[jhunter89]

I can imagine it hard for most people to trust after that let alone someone with existing anxiety and self esteem issues!

[raggamuffin]

Yep, probably should do myself and others a favour and stay single till I get this sorted out.

Ed

[dazza]

Yep, probably should do myself and others a favour and stay single till I get this sorted out.

Ed


Starting a new relationship with mid-to-high levels of anxiety disorder is most likely to end in disaster, imo.

How you go about it is entirely up to you, but I guess you have two choices:

1/ The selfish option

Hide it as well as possible and DO NOT let it influence the relationship UNTIL you are well established.
Perhaps then you can ease your date / partner in with it gently & let them decide what happens next...

2/ The honest option

Tell them up front such that they are prepared for it.


Whichever you choose, you've got a bit of a fight on your hand to be honest.

Oh, and if someone cheats on you... cheat on them back with their best friend! LOL

[LornaLoo]

I've got my CBT tomorrow. It's strange how much I actually look forwards to it haha. It's nice to just get everything off my chest to someone who doesn't think I'm nuts I guess :p glad I'm not the only one like this. I'm so possessive and jealous over my bf. better than I used to be though and luckily he understands so its not too much of an issue for him :) I was cheated on too so have a lot of trust issues

[jhunter89]

Oh, and if someone cheats on you... cheat on them back with their best friend! LOL

My best friends a guy so that wouldn't work :P

[raggamuffin]

It's very difficult when you get jealous or clingy. It's hard to keep level headed if something considered "normal" just triggers a jealous episode. That, paired with anxiety and you wind up detonating like some mad paranoid suicide bomber. It's hard trusting people after being cheated on, it's nice he's understanding. I have pushed a lot of people away due to jealousy so it's something i'm going to address tomorrow in CBT. I mean...I can rationalize situations at a later date. but when it's happening all I see is red and stupidly, I speak my mind. Which is usual just emotion fueled nonsense and I should really just calm down before even saying anything. Then again, it's all too easy to bottle stuff up and feel equally as bad. I'm not sure where the balance point is. Hopefully CBT will help.

Ed

[jhunter89]

And after you've exploded at them and you've had time to calm down and think rationally you feel so wracked with guilt, you wanna just smash your own face in for being such a twat? (That's me anyway)