Thinkitso
12-27-2012, 08:57 PM
I have these "symptoms" that I just thought were a part of my GAD, but now I've learned about this "co-morbidity" thing and I'm not sure. I know I have GAD because of the classic symptoms: I think every pain and bump is a fatal disease, mind fog, can't catch my breath, constant fear like I'm being stalked by a panther, muscle tension, bruxism, TMJ, fatigue, can't read write think without feeling like I've been hit in the head with a frying pan. Even choosing which words to write here causes me anxiety because I worry that I'll worry that I chose a word that I'll think into a new fear. It was hard to even write that sentence lol. But I'm digressing. (I guess I just wanted to "get it out"). My point was, I can't tell if I have the depression symptoms because there is so much overlap with GAD.
I've taken on-line tests for depression and they said 'inconclusive' I "have symptoms found in the general population". And while I was seeing a psychologist (& later a therapist) for my GAD, they suggested I might have depression but it was unclear. So maybe I can describe my feelings, and someone who has experienced depression or knows a good deal about it can tell me if I sound like I may have it?
Mainly I feel aimless and lost all the time. I have no motivation to do anything except mindless consumption; video games, TV, junk food--but barely. I used to believe I had a future, now I believe that future's not worth having. I simultaneously feel desperate to connect with people and to avoid them at the same time. In the last few years, I feel I'm starting to be defined by my diminished expectations, general apathy, and a yearning for something...love? purpose? I don't even remember, my desires are growing so dim I can barely feel them anymore. Sometimes I'll have a dream where I feel actually happy, and I'll wake up and feel "alive" for a few hours, like everything is okey, the worlds a good place to live. Then the memory fades, and everything darkens. And I sit down and just don't know what I'm doing.
Is this just a negative worldview I have, just mood depression, or actual "major depressive disorder"? Is this enough information to be able to tell?
I've taken on-line tests for depression and they said 'inconclusive' I "have symptoms found in the general population". And while I was seeing a psychologist (& later a therapist) for my GAD, they suggested I might have depression but it was unclear. So maybe I can describe my feelings, and someone who has experienced depression or knows a good deal about it can tell me if I sound like I may have it?
Mainly I feel aimless and lost all the time. I have no motivation to do anything except mindless consumption; video games, TV, junk food--but barely. I used to believe I had a future, now I believe that future's not worth having. I simultaneously feel desperate to connect with people and to avoid them at the same time. In the last few years, I feel I'm starting to be defined by my diminished expectations, general apathy, and a yearning for something...love? purpose? I don't even remember, my desires are growing so dim I can barely feel them anymore. Sometimes I'll have a dream where I feel actually happy, and I'll wake up and feel "alive" for a few hours, like everything is okey, the worlds a good place to live. Then the memory fades, and everything darkens. And I sit down and just don't know what I'm doing.
Is this just a negative worldview I have, just mood depression, or actual "major depressive disorder"? Is this enough information to be able to tell?