ive had enough lol

[mossypwl]

I dont know why im posting here to be honest..... Looking for some answers or just to open up i think anyway here it goes......

For the last year i think ive had anxiety ive had enough of it.... The start of it was my nan unexpectedly passing away in hospital when she was due to come home (fault of the hospital overdosing her) ever since then i dont know what the hell is wrong with me at this moment in time, a yr on from when my nan passed i find it hard to go out without thinking something bad is going to happen to me, i keep imagining im going to pass out all the time or die in the street, i have 2 kids and it concerns me more if im with them. I sit in the house all day and if i get a little twinge of pain i think theres something wrong and im going to die, im tired all the time, i get palpitations.... They have atcually eased off tho i useto get them about 15 times a day but they have calmed down to about 1 - 2 a day whiich is a good sign i suppose, i feel like im in a dream world most of the time. I feel drained and cant be bothered to do anything!
In july this yr i did goto a & e as i felt like i was dying they done an ecg, chest xray and took bloods all of which come back clear and doc said he cant see anything wrong.
So i dont know its all in my head i suppose but i cant bloody cope with it all, i want to be out enjoying time with my kids and taking them places but i just get so nervous and rush home to my safe haven.
I must admit i am the worlds worst for google!!! Lol i do google every little pain or every little sensation i am feeling and then look for the worst outcome so i am prob making myself worse.

I think i need to stop dwelling on things and just get on with life but god dam its hard

Can anyone else relate to this?

[kasiejuhnay]

I am exactly the same way. I lost my grandparents and my mom all within the past 5 years...mom and grandpa within the last year. My mom wasnt even sick...just died in her sleep. She had anxiety and it scares me that she too was a sufferer and passed away prematurely. She was only 48 years old. I get the same feelings that you do...like I'm going to die just while doing anything. It's a scary feeling. :(

[SunnieDebris]

Mossypwl,

I'm glad you decided to post something. I'm not surprised that you're tired all the time. Having all that anxiety must be exhausting. I'm sorry to hear about your nan. I lost my grandmother much the same way. She had cancer and they were operating on her. The doctor noticed that her heartbeat was irregular, and he shocked her, killing her. What happened was that she had suffered a small heart attack years before, and ever since then had an irregular heartbeat. So, she didn't need to be shocked. He just didn't bother reading her chart before the operation. Are you seeing a therapist or psychiatrist. I'm thinking that you might just need some medication to help lift you out of this funk that you are in. You could also learn a progressive relaxation, so that when those feelings come up, you have a tool to deal with them. You may also want to journal your thoughts and feelings, in order to challenge them. I hope this helps.