Anxiety & Holidays

[inzane68]

So my mother is not getting along with my aunts and uncles. Me and my brother are not getting along. My husband and his brother are not getting along. I am so anxious about the holidays and really want to tell everyone that i want to stay home but my need to please everyone around me kicks in and i start to feel guilty for even thinking about staying home. I am so lost on what to do and it is making my anxiety even worse than it already is. any advise on how to tackle this one?

[buddaboy]

Do you all get together for the holidays?

[246810]

I go through a very similar situation. I have to take a very deep breath and just smile at whatever they say and give the "polite" answer. I get in and get out. Have an excuse like a headache for leaving early and focus on that. From a day to day basis, only worry about you and your husband as a pair. Anything that isn't going to effect your daily life should be put aside.

[SunnieDebris]

So my mother is not getting along with my aunts and uncles. Me and my brother are not getting along. My husband and his brother are not getting along. I am so anxious about the holidays and really want to tell everyone that i want to stay home but my need to please everyone around me kicks in and i start to feel guilty for even thinking about staying home. I am so lost on what to do and it is making my anxiety even worse than it already is. any advise on how to tackle this one?

I can see that you're stressed out over this. My question to you would be, do you feel like you are somehow responsible for everyone having a "good" time? I know it's stressful when people you care about are upset with each other, but you are not responsible for everyone's emotions and actions. Is there any way you can attend these events and just let go of the idea that things have to be perfect? Things will never be perfect, and that is not your fault, that's just life. My suggestion would be to learn a 5 minute relaxation exercise to help keep you calm in stressful situations. And then just go. Go and try to have a good time, as much as you are able. You can also journal your thoughts and feelings to try to get them out of your head. I hope this helps.

[dazza]

I love watching people arguing and pissed off with eachother... I say ENJOY THE ENTERTAINMENT ! lol

[inzane68]

thanks for the advise. yes, i do want it all to be perfect. I want my brother to just stop being so stubborn, my mother to get along with my uncles and my husband to get along with his brother. It stresses me out because i love them all and I am not the reason this is all going on but somehow seem to be the one that misses out because of their stuborness.

my issue now is that if i go to the "family" christmas party my mother will be upset and hurt because she is chosing not to go and expects me to not go. if i stay home and invite my mother over for christmas instead the extended family will be hurt. this is when i feel like i have to please everyone involved and now i am to the point of telling everyone i will not spend it with any of them.

[SunnieDebris]

That's putting you between a rock and a hard place. Choose with your heart, and then just let the chips fall where they may. That's much easier said than done. I'll be thinking about you and sending you good thoughts.