Woke up crying!!

[stjlynn]

When they told me it would get easier... We're they lying or did they truly believe it?? Today is my mothers birthday. She passed away in 1999 after a long terrible illness. When I close my eyes I can still see her on the hospital bed. I was 12 years old when I watched my mom die and it feels like yesterday. My heart is broken:( I don't know if I'll ever accept it. I've been asking myself for many years why her? I never get what I am looking for! Just venting

[chilli]

I can understand how sad this is for you, Have you seen a counsellor about this ? You may need to process the grief and loss.

[stjlynn]

I don't understand what people mean by that I have experienced the loss and I grieve

[mw0929]

I'm sorry for your loss. A death of a loved one is never easy to deal with. Talking to a counselor may help you get your feelings out in the open and help ease your mind a little.

[dazza]

When they told me it would get easier... We're they lying or did they truly believe it?? Today is my mothers birthday. She passed away in 1999 after a long terrible illness. When I close my eyes I can still see her on the hospital bed. I was 12 years old when I watched my mom die and it feels like yesterday. My heart is broken:( I don't know if I'll ever accept it. I've been asking myself for many years why her? I never get what I am looking for! Just venting

Premature death of a loved one through illness is the toughest pill to swallow. Nothing compares with the cruelty.

There is no answer to your question (why her) except for that of the unbeatable illness that she so undeservedly happened to develop. There are plenty of tossers out there that deserve to die and plenty that don't. The choice seems so unforgiving and wrong at times.

You need support from your direct family and/or partner. Without support such grief is near impossible to cope with alone and is worse when other aspects of your life are knocking you down.

You have my deepest sympathy, but you also have my word that one day your pain will pass.
You'll never forget her / you'll always love her but you will eventually accept.

I hope you feel better today.

[angieproc1977]

I don't think it ever gets easier how can it as the years go by you miss that person more and more, my belief is that you learn to accept it, I lost my dad last year to leukaemia and being a daddy's girl losing him was one of my very worse fears and I can't imagine I will ever get over losing him, I do think one day I will kind of accept it, death of a loved one is awful to have to deal with but not a choice we can make x

[stjlynn]

I try to talk to my boyfriend and he always just says I'm sorry.. Everytime I bring her up to my family it becomes an awkward silence.. I've tried in therapy but I breakdown crying then completely shutdown it's a little embarrassing that I can talk about my mom without cry it's been 14 years. It hurts me that I was so young when it happened I don't think I was able to truly express how much she ment to me :(

[star1234]

I'm sorry to hear what you had to endure since such an early age. I feel your pain. My mom passed two months ago and I just can't get a grip on myself. She was my rock and my best friend. I can't stop crying. My anxiety all started with my chest pains when she passed. I started therapy last week. Tonight will be hard because we will be talking mostly about her. I can't talk to anyone about her without crying. Granted she was 81 years old but she was a wise women. It's hard to let go of someone that you love that much. Maybe you will get over it and maybe you won't. But I'm sure it's made you a stronger person on so many ways.