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View Full Version : Cant stop thinking about what I say!!



JEH2004
04-21-2007, 08:47 AM
This is so annoying. So Im in social situations, Im trying my hardest to start conversation or just react NORMALLY. But I find myself beating myself up like why did I say that? what the hell that just sounded wierd? I think to myself, maybe I just need to shut up and stop TRYING to be social when IM CLEARLY socially awkward and only end up embarrassing myself.

Anyone going through this? Do you think it would be best if I just dont push myself to talk (besides responding to questions or whatever) I mean whats wrong with being "reserved" I guess its ok unless you feel bad being that way...

txmom
04-21-2007, 10:18 AM
I agree; in groups or around relative strangers, it's far preferable to say the minimum possible (without appearing rude), especially when you know there's a possibility that your social anxiety will cause you to blurt out awkward things.
There's nothing wrong with being reserved; there's also nothing wrong with admitting, "I'm a little shy/awkward/nervous around people I don't know well."
Most people can understand (if not entirely relate) to that, and will accept it without labeling you "weird".
On the other hand, if you attempt to appear more "extraverted" and end up blurting out weird things that embarrass you, or responding awkwardly, then you will regret ever opening your mouth, and people may well think you are weird, and all this will only feed your social anxiety and make it much worse.

Better to be 'reserved" in situations where you feel nervous.

I've noticed that I have little to no social anxiety around people I know well- family and close friends.
There's nothing wrong with only opening up around people you know well and trust.
There's no law that says you have to be open around strangers, coworkers, and casual acquaintances.

amaya
04-22-2007, 12:13 AM
I know i think the best method is if you want to talk to people go do it and if you mess up or say something stupid rule number one do not suffer from it if you suffer from up or like beat your self up for sounding "stupid" then it will continue I was in your same boat in high school im in college now. everything i would say i would analyze it and then beat myself up for it right after. it kept getting worse i then ordered a program called the sedona method because i was so anxious like 24/7 i cured myself as easily as this when feel like you said something stupid dont punish yourself even though you want to instead be like "Oh well i said something stupid im not gonna worry about it" the more and more you do that it will go away you can let go of a worry just like your hand lets go of a pencil for example pm me if you need details good luck

amaya
04-22-2007, 12:14 AM
although i am still nervous like during speeches how do you guys handle speeches?

Kitten
04-27-2007, 06:44 AM
I recognice what you say! i used to have a huge problem with that! i 'm better now though, but it still hits me sometimes, the self doubt the going over everyword i said, if i was rude, if i reached normally, if i sounded dumb/stupid etc.

like last year, i could have a converation for like 2 miniutes, and i would beat myself up for 20 mins after that.... i don't know what happend though... why its not like that now... i've gone to therapy for 2 years, maybe its that? My socila anxiet is alot better as a whole, i'm able to interact with others without beating myself up every time. It still happens though... that i've had converations with people and i've felt an enormus anxity grow inside of me afterwards. :?

speeches are bad! I had to have a speach for my class not to long ago(i'm in collage), luckly i could stay in my seat, but i was swetting, i was shaking and it was just terible.. luckey i was able to keep a steady voice though so i don't think anyone else noticed!

fcDrifter127
05-17-2007, 03:19 AM
I know i think the best method is if you want to talk to people go do it and if you mess up or say something stupid rule number one do not suffer from it if you suffer from up or like beat your self up for sounding "stupid" then it will continue I was in your same boat in high school im in college now. everything i would say i would analyze it and then beat myself up for it right after. it kept getting worse i then ordered a program called the sedona method because i was so anxious like 24/7 i cured myself as easily as this when feel like you said something stupid dont punish yourself even though you want to instead be like "Oh well i said something stupid im not gonna worry about it" the more and more you do that it will go away you can let go of a worry just like your hand lets go of a pencil for example pm me if you need details good luck

Yeaaa, Ive tried that one quite a few times, and 20 minutes later Ill be thinking about how stupid what I said was, but how its okay and I wont beat myself up. I have not been diagnosed with SAD yet, but I have all the symptoms and am going to see my doctor. And when I get nervous my eyes water, so it looks like Im about to burst out and cry in the middle of buying groceries when I go to the store. How do you guys deal with that?