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View Full Version : Starting a new job - PLEASE HELP



Hannah19
11-06-2012, 03:12 AM
Hi. This is my first post on one of these forum things. I've never really been that concerned on my health, until possibly 3 years ago. Yeah, you read that right. 3 years!

Okay. Well. I'm 19, going on 20 in January. I started noticing I had anxiety issues at college during my GCSEs and A levels, but they were so small that I was just referred to a school counselor, who actually ended up dismissing me from seeing her because I was sick, physically, from college for two weeks with tonsillitis and if you missed her 3 times, they use to just think you weren't coming and signed you off, so to say. So from then on, I just felt like I needed to deal with my own problems as the people I felt were suppose to help 'didn't care'.
I got through my GCSE's and A levels, somehow, without much damage. Then, I couldn't decide what to do with my life which lead to a small 'teenage crisis', which lead me onto going to the job center and claiming job benefits. I searched and searched for a job, but in this current climate, I couldn't find anything. Going to the job center for me was embarrassing and humiliating. I would often get picked out by people because I'm 'slightly out of the ordinary' when people view me from my appearance, which is fine, as I dealt with that in school, but I was horrified to learn that adults could also be that cruel. This what I believe began my social anxiety.
Couldn't find a job. Felt humiliated. Pressure from family. Being told I was worthless. Lead me to begin feeling like I wasn't good enough, like I was on my own, no support. I started becoming a recluse (I'm very much introverted naturally but this is a new league), didn't want to see friends, didn't want to go anywhere... which then lead to me being frightened of going outside. Agrophobia. I've learnt to deal with that somewhat but it still frightens me.

Yada yada. Get to the point!

Point is, I've found a job and because I'm under certain contracts and laws signed to the job centre and an employment agency, I HAD to accept if they offered me it. But secretly, I know about my problems with anxiety. I suppose that's my own pride being the fault, but anyway. I honestly am unsure whether I’m going to be able to cope with this job. I’m trying to learn methods of getting over these episodes by myself. But I’ve been finding it so hard, like, i feel like I’m suffering for something which could be avoided if I was taken seriously. I’m not saying I’m useless, but I am saying that I’m not going to be able to do this and just be thrown at the deep end. And it’s not actually the job itself that worries me, its the environment, the people, everything around it.
I’m so scared that I’m going to go into an episode at work that is triggered by something, and that i’ll develop all the physical symptoms like not being able to breathe, shaking, feeling sick, feeling weak, dry mouth, feeling like my muscles are rigid. Sometimes I go so stiff from fear, I feel like I’m having a seizure and I literally don’t move for ages. I’m scared that i’m going to work myself up in such a state, loose my appetite, not eat for an entire day which also makes my brain go haywire because I know I have to eat because otherwise I faint, and I have done before. Also the fact that I won’t be able to escape from it. I won’t be able to just leave and get somebody to calm me down. And the embarrassment of having to go through all that while co-workers are watching.
I talked to my parents about getting help after a breakdown, but again, I felt no support as there was a issue in my family which ended up with one of my family members having to go to hospital, so I suppose I was 'swept under the carpet'. I'm so scared. I start work on the 12th of Novemeber and i can't even sleep now! I keep waking up like I'm having a panic attack. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about calling a doctor either today or tomorrow. But I just need some advice from people who feel/understand it more than just my parents who think it will 'breeze over' when i've been somewhat suffering like this for 3 years!

I just don't think I can cope.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

dazza
11-06-2012, 05:06 AM
Can I ask... why are you visually out of the ordinary? How many heads do you have? :-/

pandora92
11-06-2012, 05:15 AM
Really sorry you feel that way and you don't have the support from others! Firstly I would suggest booking an emergency appointment, talk to the doctor about you worries and symptoms! You could definitely benefit from some CBT research self help anxiety CBT on the net and you'll find some great worksheets!! You can let your anxiety take over (which I know is really hard) but ask yourself what is it exactly your scared of? What's the worst that could happen? You've fainted before so you know it's not all that bad!! And believe me when someone faints you don't think haha look at that stupid person you would think omg I hope she's ok!! Are you underestimating your ability to cope! Just think if you go to this job, you might make some new friends you will have some money to treat yourself, and keeping your mind busy is the best thing for you! You need to learn to accept the feelings of anxiety an gradually they will get less and less! Just believe in your self a little and agin I know it's hard to when you feel the way you do! But don't let other people get you down you can do whatever you want! I you want to leave the job because you feel awful then do but know that at any point you can jut leave and you won't feel so bad! I've been reading and implementing the tips in self help books and I'm a different person to what I was 4 weeks ago! If you ever need to talk jut message me :) x

Hannah19
11-06-2012, 10:20 AM
Hahahaha. I know how that sounds strange, but I am a very, very naturally pale person and quite thin. I get asked if I'm sick a lot or having an eating disorder (More so when I was at college, now I've put on a bit of weight), which I both I don't have problems with. I'm kind into "alternative" scenes too, so my fashion style is kinda bit kooky in other people's eyes... or at least that's how people came across. I've been to multiple job interviews were suddenly out of the blue I'll get "So, are you goth?" when I'll be completely normal, no makeup, just the black hair. It can make me feel very, very awkward, as you can tell by the way I said it. People's reactions have made me feel like I'm not normal, I suppose. But I'm okay with that.

Hannah19
11-06-2012, 10:23 AM
Thank you for your support! Firstly I think I'm not in a position to really get myself worked up right now (I wrote this when I was suffering a bad panic attack and now I am a lot more calmer) as I haven't even started yet. I'm going to see how the week goes, then decide if I need a doctors help. I talked to my dad and he said he believes I don't, but if I need to go, then he supports me on that. Fingers crossed I can make it through the first week without feeling horrid. It's all self belief, right?!

jhunter89
11-06-2012, 10:27 AM
What is the job anywhoo?

dazza
11-06-2012, 10:32 AM
Hahahaha. I know how that sounds strange, but I am a very, very naturally pale person and quite thin.

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dazza
11-06-2012, 10:37 AM
I actually find non-conformists / un-ordinary (is that a word??) people interesting... I'm kinda drawn to them.

Perhaps I wish I was the same but never had the bollux to do it.
Well, I mean, I do have bollux... but, ahhhh... you know what I mean!

jhunter89
11-06-2012, 10:38 AM
Pale and interesting... nothing wrong with that! ;-)

Stop flirting with young girls!

jhunter89
11-06-2012, 10:38 AM
I used to be "alternative" but then I lost the balls. lol!!

dazza
11-06-2012, 11:03 AM
Stop flirting with young girls!

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jhunter89
11-06-2012, 11:14 AM
And I thought you only had eyes for me. PMSL. Just kidding D ;)

dazza
11-06-2012, 11:30 AM
And I thought you only had eyes for me. PMSL. Just kidding D ;)

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256

Hah!

jhunter89
11-06-2012, 11:37 AM
You bastard

Hannah19
11-10-2012, 04:28 AM
Hahaha thanks guys, I suppose! Not been able to get much sleep lately as I'm sick with worry, but I'll come back and speak about how it went next friday after a week doing it. Fingers crossed I don't make a massive fool of myself :( I always think my anxiety shows, when it probably doesn't.

Hannah19
11-10-2012, 04:30 AM
What is the job anywhoo?

It's working in admin. Bad thing is I get nervous around telephones, which i'm going to tell them straight away that I will need more time, more training to deal with that. Anything else, with computers etc i'm pretty flexible with those sorts of tasks.

dazza
11-10-2012, 04:32 AM
I get nervous around telephones

Telephobia? lol

LornaLoo
11-10-2012, 12:02 PM
Heyy, I'm 19 too, 20 In April, and I'm in my second job after a levels. I still get anxiety trouble and often find myself crying for no reason at work and trying to hide it from people. I don't fit in with the other people at work much and I feel quite alone which makes me worse.
Anyway, not trying to scare you. My point is: I quit my last job after 9 months thinking that the job was making me the way I am and that I'd be better getting a new job, but I really regret that now. I was just settling in at my old place and I stupidly gave up on it and decided to start the whole process over again.
What I'm trying to say is, try and stick things out with this new job. People will eventually look past differences and see you as a person. I used to dress alternatively and it just takes a while for people to see past their own vanity and see whats on the inside :) don't let anxiety ruin your chances of fitting in and relaxing yourself. I really wish I could go back in time and stick at my old job where I was beginning to get settled :)
Hope this helps a little
L x

Hannah19
11-12-2012, 11:33 AM
Honestly my 1st day was awful, in respects of throwing me in the deep end! I had no idea what the job involved and its pretty concentrated work. Have a problem with eating around folks too and because I was so nervous, all I could stomach was a cereal bar for the entire 8 hours. Feel pretty degraded and shitty right now. When is the time for you to say 'man up'? haha.

StaceyEaster93
11-12-2012, 11:43 AM
I am also 19, 20 in January. Here if you want to talk! X