I think I have anxiety because I actually want it?..

[camilla91]

Mad as it sounds I know I could get rid of anxiety, I could shake it off and not look back, I choose not to, I have no idea why, think its because it actually interests me..
I've got it in me to give anxiety 2 fingers and toddle off back to my life.. But I don't want to.
Maybe that's because I still need it?
Our bodies react like this for a reason, I've accepted that, I'm letting it run its course, but I keep going back, prodding it and poking at it until I've brought myself into a litttle panic, then I'll sit and wonder why I just did that to myself, to check its still there?
Its become a friend to me, I want it there I want to check on it, make sure I've still got the ability to bring myself into a panic..
Ha.. Madness.
Well atleast I know it can't break me, because its me that teases it.
If I stopped prodding and poking it, it would leave on its own accord but I disturb it while its doing its job (protecting me) so it has to stay longer..
I think I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that anxietys my friend and when he's fixed me and made me okay again he'll leave..
But he'll only go when he's finished his job and he can't do that with me attacking him all day..
When IM ready I'll let him get on, until then he's part of my life and I accept that he's there.

[PanicCured]

Excellent post! This is such incredible insight! YES YOU ARE RIGHT!

Anxiety or any illness becomes part of your identity. You are seeing something about yourself most people will not see. On this forum, you see so many people who have just accepted that anxiety is who they are and they orchestrate their lives around it. They come here only to basically say, "I'm freaking out, will you be by my side while I freak out." I'm not down with that. I am all about giving raw details how to get better. I try and get people to just step back and look at it. I never believed anxiety was me and I ALWAYS knew I could get it behind me and I finally did get it behind me. A lot of people on some deep level DO want to be sick and they will get angry at you if you try and get them better. It is who they think they've become. You are not anxiety, and it can get thrown in the trash can and you are still you! Anxiety is a bluff! Time to take the next step, buddy, and get rid of it! It isn't interesting.

[alankay]

Remember, anxiety is only a part of you. It doesn't define you. You are much, much , much, more than your anxiety. Alankay

[dazza]

Remember, anxiety is only a part of you. It doesn't define you. You are much, much , much, more than your anxiety. Alankay

disagree. When you first develop anxiety disorder it completely engulfs you & continues to as long as you arent able to fight it.

only when you start to fight & win various battles do you start to regain yourself

[joshbagosh]

Also disagree. There are good and bad points of anxiety, like when your adrenaline is pumping and you get a rush, that's when it feels good! Almost like when your on a roller coaster, it's the thrill of it. But when it comes to the symptoms like dizziness and complete mofoing chaos, then anxiety can go blow itself!

[camilla91]

I think that's one of the reasons I keep my anxiety, for the thrill of it! Odd as that sounds lol I don't mind the panic attacks that's probably why I hardly get them, its just the depersonalization that bothers me, but I'm in process of brushing that off :D

[Kelly C]

Excellent post! This is such incredible insight! YES YOU ARE RIGHT!

Anxiety or any illness becomes part of your identity. You are seeing something about yourself most people will not see. On this forum, you see so many people who have just accepted that anxiety is who they are and they orchestrate their lives around it. They come here only to basically say, "I'm freaking out, will you be by my side while I freak out." I'm not down with that. I am all about giving raw details how to get better. I try and get people to just step back and look at it. I never believed anxiety was me and I ALWAYS knew I could get it behind me and I finally did get it behind me. A lot of people on some deep level DO want to be sick and they will get angry at you if you try and get them better. It is who they think they've become. You are not anxiety, and it can get thrown in the trash can and you are still you! Anxiety is a bluff! Time to take the next step, buddy, and get rid of it! It isn't interesting.

How did you get rid of it?
I have anxiety and I know it isn't me and I definitely don't want it to be a part of me anymore. I know I will get over it as I hate it and I a slowly getting better. I just need a little advice/ reassurance on how other people have got over it?