Questions

[ncgrrl1971]

Hi everyone, I just registered and I think I am just looking for some answers. I think I may be suffering from anxiety, who knows? I won't give you all the arduous details, but I have been back and forth to doctors and more doctors. I have been to the cardiologist, the oncologist and the neurologist, the ER and my family doctor. My heart is good, I don't have cancer but I still have this horrible feeling that I can not get rid of. It is with me when I wake (if by chance I got to sleep) and it stays with me all day. I have this panic feeling in my stomach that just will not go away. I have random thoughts, my chest hurts and I don't know what to do. I was wondering if anyone can give me any insights on how they discovered that they suffered from anxiety and what they did about it.

Thanks so much,
NCGRRL

[V for Victor]

Welcome to the community! :)

There are many people here who can help you with your problems and feelings. This is a great place to talk about your fears, whatever they may be. (Nobody is going to think you're crazy or stupid. We're all in the same boat here.) :)

There are many different categories of anxiety. There is Social Anxiety Disorder (centering around fears of meeting people, being in crowds, public speaking,) there is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (pretty much as it sounds,) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (characterized by unwanted, intrusive thoughts and repeated actions, such as washing hands, checking locks, on/off switches on appliances, etc.) There are more, I think, but these are very common.

Have any of your doctors diagnosed you with any of these?

Tell us a about your anxiety. What do you worry about the most? What do your fears seem to be about, and what do they always go back to?

[ncgrrl1971]

I haven't been diagnosed, other than self diagnosis. I have been struggling with my health, or at least my perception that my health was bad. I have chest pain, and a panicked feeling almost ALL of the time. I do go to the doctor tomorrow. I would say I am more GAD, not social. I meet people and deal with people all day. It doesn't seem to increase the panic I already feel. My panic is dying. I always feel so uneasy. I have much trouble sleeping, I hurt all the time, and I worry about it all the time.

I was on Vicodin for about 4-6 weeks for pain, but last Saturday I was not hurting, so naturally I did not take it. I didn't take it Sunday either...and Sunday night I thought I was dying. Apparently, even though I only took two a day...most days, NEVER more than two, my body became addicted to it and when I did not need it and did not take it, my body went through withdrawl. SCARY...I thought I was dying. I was afraid of myself. I was afraid for my family because I thought I was literally losing my mind. My husband didn't know what to do...and I didn't realize until Monday...after NOT SLEEPING at all on Sunday that I was going through withdrawls. I immediatley had my husband discard ALL vicodin that was in the house...and I will NEVER take it again.

So to answer your question...I guess dying or harming someone is my worst panic.

Thank you so much for writing me back..and for the warm welcome. May I ask your history?

Thanks again,
Stacey

[V for Victor]

I've had anxiety/depression since I was about 14, and I'm 18 now. More specifically, I've got Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and I've had the OCD tendancies since I was just a little kid. My obsessions are about my health, and I used to really struggle with obsessions of violence. It sounds like we may have something in common there, with the violent thoughts.

You said you worry that you might hurt somebody. Do you mean like you're going to go crazy one day and kill somebody??? Obsessions with violent stuff is a common OCD symptom. Do you have any other thoughts about violence, or images in your head that won't go away?

I got so bad for me that everything turned into violence. Whenever I drank water, I'd see it as blood in my mind. Every object seemed like a weapon. I was already so depressed by that point that I figured it was only my nature, and that I was a natural born killer. (Very scary.) Now I know it's only OCD, and that nobody acts on something that they're afraid of.

[ncgrrl1971]

I guess what is hard for me to understand is why now?? I'm 35! From time to time throughout my life, I have suffered situational anxiety, but when the situation was past, so was the anxiety. I guess I have always had a fairly hard time sleeping too. I think the violent thoughts only came when I stopped taking the Vicodin. That is the first time that ever happened. The mind can sure be a scary place. I've never seen blood or anything like that, but I definitely put the knife in the dishwasher instead of letting it sit on the counter, and I have had some random thoughts about things and how they can be used as weapons. FREAKS ME OUT.

I appreciate so much you communicating with me. It's nice to know we are not alone, isn't it? Just talking about it helps...

[V for Victor]

I posted a link to an OCD test in this thread:

http://www.anxietyforum.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1607


You might want to check it out to see if you're more or less OCD than you thought.

Does anxiety/depression run in your family that you know of?

The question "why now" is sometimes hard to answer. I think some people have anxiety, but it lays low for several years. And then something happens, and it reawakens it and it just doesn't go away like we hoped. I dunno, I feel like that's what happened to me.

[ncgrrl1971]

I will definitely follow the link, and thanks for the info. I asked my Mom if we had any history, and she could not recall any, especially in our immediate family...who knows about further down the road or way back. As far as Mom, Dad and grandparents, aunts and uncles...none that we can think of.

This must be very difficult for someone so young. I applaud your strength and the ability to talk about it. Good for you..

Do you have support? Like from your family and friends? I would imagine that would be so important.

Good talking to you...
Stacey