has anyone else lost their parents to cancer?

[lucy1989]

I think this is my main problem at the moment. I never could have predicted how I would feel or react, think I'm loosing myself. It would help to talk with someone who is going through the same thing?

[orangeribbons]

I lost my father to a car accident, which is sort of the opposite of what you're going through, since his death was sudden and unexpected. Either way, I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you find the empathy you seek.

[Siegfried]

I have, unfortunately. Feel free to pm me anytime.

Be brave! =)

[ravenwortman]

Hi, I lost my father to cancer when I was 16 (17 years ago) and I almost lost my mother 5 years ago. She is currently in remission. I know that my father's death is what brought my anxiety and panic attacks to my attention, even though I had anxiety for most of my life. Pm me if you ever need to talk! Raven

[aprilmay]

Lost my mom to breast cancer 9 years ago...she was 58. It was definitely what triggered my anxiety attacks.

[lucy1989]

I have regular dreams about my mum and she has come back from the dead but I know she is going to die again.. recently I had a dream where I realised she couldn't have come back Co's she was cremated.. I'm well aware she's passed it's just these dreams. Last night I had a dream that I was at my dad's and there was a ghost standing about 10ms away from me, I kept screaming for someone to come and turn the light on Co's was frozen. Is this normal? Has anyone else had dreams like this after their parent passed?

[firefly06]

I lost my mother, but not to cancer. I cannot describe the painful dreams and nightmares I have had after my baby son was killed... I don't even dream of his actual death, I dream of him being stolen, lost, or someone telling me he is theirs and I didn't even have him and I am crazy. I wake up crying because my mind won't even face his death still, it reverts back to the same old lost or kidnapped because seeing him die even in a dream is too painful for it I guess. Before he died (while I was still pregnant with him) I dreamed that he was cut out of my belly and someone sewed my belly up using flower stems for stitches. And everyone present in the dream was present in the ER months later when he died. So I can definately understand and sympathize with terrifying and awful dreams about lost ones :( Sorry you are going through this :(
(sorry for the long ass life story too, feels good to get it out though..)

[lucy1989]

No I can totally relate to ur dream, I suppose u loved him so much u wanted him back. The dreams are a way of coping too I think Co's u can hold him and talk to him and it makes life a lil more bearable. Maybe when u were pregnant u kind of predicted the future? I always have dreams that come tru.. not so significant as urs of course. I had a dream before my mum got her cancer back, I tried finding her and was screaming for her.. I eventually found her in the bath tub and held her while she took her last breath.. I held her for 6hrs, just me and her then she took her last breath. I got to accept that my mum was dieing though and left nothing unsaid, with ur son u must have so much anger at who killed him. Shit seriously ur life must be painful every day, how old was he? I'm a mother and I know if I didn't have my kids I wouldn't be living right now. U must b so strong!

[firefly06]

It's not actually, but mainly because it was 6 years ago (he was 2 months old) and time makes it hurt less. I don't know if I'm strong, or just really stubborn. I just can't lay down and die because of losing him because I have so much more I can do in my life and so much love ready for another baby someday, god willing.

[lucy1989]

That's a great outlook, aw so he was still very small. I hope u have another baby someday.

[firefly06]

But yes, the anger never fades. I can forgive anyone for anything basically, and am pretty understanding, but that hatred never goes away. In fact over the years I think it gains momentum, which is probably why I have anxiety. That and all the other f*ked up things I've witnessed. But I try and focus on positive thoughts as much as possible :) Like puppies... flowers... and her someday drowning in her nice new pool after her fake boobs pop and poison her bloodstream.. You know, happy things :)

[firefly06]

"Her" being the crazy bitch who killed him, I forgot that part in the details..

[lucy1989]

I knew who u meant straight away. I too try to stay positive, it's hard sometimes though. I think I first got anxiety when I started a family, I focused on my kids and shut my friends out.. trying to be a good mother. My anxiety is more social and related to depression. I don't have panic attacks, I just lack confidence.. which u wouldn't know by talking to me. I question if there's something wrong with me and constantly care what other people think. I think everyone has a mental illness once in their life as the brain is so complex, when we go through certain events it's only natural to feel certain ways. I just hope that chick has to live with what she done and think about it 24/7.. and Hey she must be more insecure then us to get fake boobs.. I would never do that lol