Feeling lonely

[n1ck13]

Not that anyone really cares, but I feel really lonely right now :( just can't shake this feeling...

[inzombiac]

:( me too. You're not alone nick....well in feeling lonely lol I play video games online...it helps a lot. :)

[Demon Cleaner]

Insombiac is right a hobby is a great way to distract you from feeling lonely. Doesn't have to be video games think hard about taking something up that interests you. Even better would be a hobby that you can do with others or meet new people at. Volunteer work, sports clubs, book clubs, etc there's a lot of possibilities. Group therapy isn't for everyone but it's sure a great way to meet a lot of interesting people and best of all they understand what you're dealing with. I personally am a recovering addict I met a lot of friends in the program and we don't just go to meetings we hangout go to ball games, lunch, concerts etc. we just do it sober now haha. my point is get involved in something where you are going to meet new people trust me there's a lot of lonely people out there just like us.

[Jo Smith]

The lonliness feeling is the worst. I also play some online games and i also read alot. Anything to keep my mind busy! x

[mammoth]

I'm seriously lonely too right now. I've been trying to find local support groups so that I can meet people but it's surprisingly hard to find one. I wish we could just make a real life support group here! Too bad we all probably live in different states. ;)

[MainerMikeBrown]

When I'm lonely, going to social clubs (for people with mental illness) such as myself can help. Many of the people at those clubs can understand how you feel, as many of them have similar issues.

[n1ck13]

Sometimes "lonely" doesn't just mean solo.. I just feel like no one really understands, that I don't have anyone I can REALLY talk to about things, like I'm just annoying people with my "nonsense"...

[faded84]

I feel the same way n1ck13 :(

[jessy]

I'm very lonely also , it's horrible , I feel for you all & know exactally how you feel every day x

[anxiousaimee]

This happens a lot when I break my sleeping pattern and end up awake when most people are asleep, I live in a very central location so I keep the windows open during the day to feel like I'm part of all the goings on, but at 2 in the morning when it's dark and quiet... depression can really kick in. I decided during this time last night to start a blog, no one may read it, but I can rant, and think like people are reading it. Or go get a friend... ha ha if only i was 5 years old again and didn't know what anxiety was! lol

[inzombiac]

Sometimes "lonely" doesn't just mean solo.. I just feel like no one really understands, that I don't have anyone I can REALLY talk to about things, like I'm just annoying people with my "nonsense"...

Yup I know. I'm married and he can be right next to me and I still feel that way. It's odd :(

[MLeFay]

Okay I'm really confused. People in here talk about group therapy and joining clubs to meet people. If you have anxiety isn't it hard or impossible to sit in group therapy or to join clubs and socialize with people? I feel alone too right now. I could never do group therapy altho tried. (And was refused any kind of intensive therapy/help if I wouldn't sit in group therapy hell. So was sent back home without help to a life that seriously needed some help. Which they knew. Oh my god I'm not pissed off or ranting about how psychiatrists and therapists usually don't actually care about people. )Or any group thing involving other people. Am I the only one like this?

[n1ck13]

Okay I'm really confused. People in here talk about group therapy and joining clubs to meet people. If you have anxiety isn't it hard or impossible to sit in group therapy or to join clubs and socialize with people? I feel alone too right now. I could never do group therapy altho tried. (And was refused any kind of intensive therapy/help if I wouldn't sit in group therapy hell. So was sent back home without help to a life that seriously needed some help. Which they knew. Oh my god I'm not pissed off or ranting about how psychiatrists and therapists usually don't actually care about people. )Or any group thing involving other people. Am I the only one like this?

No your not alone! I find it really hard to meet new people cause I'm not myself! I hate who I am when I try to "please" others cause I think that's who they want to see! Does that make sense?

[daisychain]

Sometimes "lonely" doesn't just mean solo.. I just feel like no one really understands, that I don't have anyone I can REALLY talk to about things, like I'm just annoying people with my "nonsense"...

My same feelings of loneliness comes and goes. I find talking on here helps alot and expressing your issues no matter how big or small. just vent, cause its better than bottling up inside. i have already gone close to erupting and found writing it all down, gets it out of my head and moving on.

[n1ck13]

I've tried opening up to people but I just feel like they think I'm attention seeking or something :/ Or they don't know how to handle it :(

[workingtheday]

Know just how you feel Nick. Can relate exactly. 2:30 in the morning right now and every second feels like an hour. I moved from NY to Fl 2 years ago to start a fresh life. 2 years later I'm no better off, 38, single, no job, constantly worried about my health, both physically and mentally. I'm in touch with my family and a few select close friends, and I feel like all I've been doing for months now is complaining about how terrible my life is to them each day. Always getting support, being told I'm better than I realize. I used to feel that way, know it. Now I question everything. I fell alone, depressed, unhealthy, isolated, and at a loss as to how to break out of it

[n1ck13]

Yep! And you just feel like you get told the same standard happy response that your better than you know and your s good person and things will get better...it doesn't help :/

[workingtheday]

Yeah, thats exactly right, same thing. Being told I'm so much better than i am. I'm lucky to have people that care, albeit they live half way across the country but that was my choice. A lot of people dont, thats never been the issue with me. Something just within side of me has gotten me to this place. And when they say that to me I know they are being genuine. But for me personally it doesnt change anything. Only I can break this pattern. Im just at a loss right now.

[n1ck13]

Do you have good days and bad days?

[workingtheday]

This seems to be a cyclical thing with me. I wont bore you with to many details, but just to give some insight. My issues seem to start around 6 years ago, give or take around 31 or so...as I mentioned Im 38. I was in a great relationship, 4 years, was engaged, but found out i had to have open heart surgery and ever since then I have had problems with anxiety, panic issues, etc. Surgery went fine, and in general im fine right now, as in healthy with my heart. But my relationship fell apart and ive been on my own since then, not just relationship wise, but also isolating myself. There have been times over those 5 or 6 years ive been in really good physical condition (working out 5-6 days a week, in great shape) and times when ive fallen off that wagon for months on end and put on 30 or 35 pounds, only to lose it again after getting fed up with myself.

I only mention all of this because you ask if i have good days and bad days. For me its more good months (or stretches of time) and bad months. We all have better days than others no matter how well or bad things are going in general in our lives. But when I'm doing well and not feeling the way i (or it sounds like we) do right now are the times when im being as healthy as i can be. Working out, eating healthy, maintaining positive thinking. They all seem to go hand in hand...I know, doesnt take a genius to know any of that right? But those are the things for me personally that seem to change things to head in the other direction. I know what to do. Ive been there (here) before and have turned it around. But i also revert back at some point. Start drinking more than i should, eating terrible, no excercise, less social. Seems like i have to hit rock bottom (which sounds horrible, but i dont believe my rock bottom is the same or as bad as a lot of others out there who go further or worse) before i wake up one day and say ok, today is day one and begin again.

So in general, right now in my life i dont feel like any days are good days. I do have what i would say are days that "arent as bad" as others, but wouldnt call them good. I know the things for me personally to change in order to hopefully get back on track, having done it before, but I just feel stuck. Cant even begin to think about taking that first step right now. And in the meantime I feel alone, depressed, isolated, hopeless.

I'm not sure of your age or background, or what has lead you to this point. Maybe you have made another post somehwere laying that all out that I havent seen. If you have leave a link here. Maybe you havent, and dont want to. I undersatnd that too. Feel free to share here, or private message me if you like. Whatever is best for you.

Your definitely not alone, I can tell you that. Not that knowing or even hearing that makes you feel any better right now. I know that too

[n1ck13]

Im not sure what makes me depressed, I guess I just find it hard to seperate aspects of my life that go wrong, as in one thing upsets me and then everything just seems wrong :/

You say you have isolated yourself, Have you ever thought about moving closer to the people that make you feel less lonely?

[laura84]

I know its easier said than done but I really believe to get better you have to surround yourself with people you are close to or who want to spend their time with you. Let them distract you. It always makes me feel better even for the short term. Taking that first step is the hardest thing of all.

[n1ck13]

I know its easier said than done but I really believe to get better you have to surround yourself with people you are close to or who want to spend their time with you

Problem is then, that when I let myself be vulnerable I get hurt. Like one of my good friends, we have coffee every week, talk open and honestly, she just got married and had our whole friendship group as bridesmaids except for me! Didn't even try to include me (hair, nails, tans, nothing!) so much for friends hey :/

[mrstanny]

I feel like that too! As though people must be gettin fed up listening to me and my problems. Going through diffucult times makes u realise who your friends are

[laura84]

I can imagine how it must be hard to try and pick yourself up after that. Especially when its someone you think you can trust who sets you back. Maybe she had her reasons though, but it does sound pretty harsh to single you out like that? Doesnt mean she doesnt enjoy spending time with you?

[n1ck13]

I dunno :/ it was the hardest wedding I've ever had to go to :(

[n1ck13]

Just realized that there is no photo of me and her either :( I guess I really wasn't important enough at all! Feeling so empty right now ;(

[laura84]

Is there anyone else at all you feel you can trust to ask why they think you get treated this way?

[n1ck13]

Yeah my partner and my best mate (both guys) they don't understand it either. They both tell me all the time how wonderful I am and I know deep down that I am a good person :/ I think I must be too sensitive, maybe I read into the things people do...

[laura84]

Yeah that can cause so many problems, dwelling on things that most other people wouldnt think twice about. As much as you try not to before you know it it's back on your mind again. Vicious cycle!

[n1ck13]

Terribly frustrating! But you know, when I talk to people about the things that upset me they do see my point :/ so it can't always just be me reading into things if others agree, right?

[laura84]

Hmm maybe a bit of both? It can be hard to differentiate cant it, especially when your head is already spinning with thoughts. Its good that you do have people you can speak to at least.

[Azuluis]

The great way to meet a lot of interesting people and best of all they understand what you're dealing with. I personally am a recovering addict I met a lot of friends in the program and we don't just go to meetings we hangout go to ball games.

[Dogtime]

Face to face conversations will help reduce thouse negative feelings. Find people with similar interests and engage them by asking questions. It will help you considerably. Try it and you'll soon understand what I mean.