noobie

[so_over_it]

Struggling with anxiety and depression, currently taking wellbutrin xl 450 mg and trazadone for sleep. Self medicated with prescription narcotics and alcohol for a few years until I had my wake up call, felony charge for forging an rx.

I've been on wellbutrin for 4 months and struggling with anxiety. Tired of trying to be "normal" I've never felt normal. I probably never will, right? I have aspergers and I've found out that clincal depression, alcoholism, drug addiction and overdose along with suicide run in my maternal genes. I was adopted at a young age so I never really knew how messed up my bio family was/is. Am I just being overly dramatic and negative? My bio family is very close and loving but their list of issues seems to be never ending.

I'm feeling totally fkd knowing this. Like even if I could feel better it wouldnt matter because I was dealt these cards, so to speak and I should just accept it. I'm just so tired of trying to be ok and normal and not feel so alone, even surrounded by my children and husband I feel alone. I'm constantly thinking of my discontentment.

Need support, understanding and advice. Sorry for the long-ish post. I'm just so over all of my issues. What do I do? Why can't I be content?

[so_over_it]

Howdy and welcome .

Dont worry too much about your blood line . My fathers the biggest dick i know and i am nothing like him .

So what have your tired other than drugs ??

cheers kev :)

I work out as much as I can and honestly that's the best cure for my depression besides the chemical one. I will not be taking any more anxiety pills. Ick I keep telling myself that I'm not like them but I guess it just weighs in the back of my mind. :/ I made an appointment to see a therapist, I'm willing to try anything right now.

[fogor]

welcome! newbie!

[DragonLilly]

Hey newbie, I'm a newbie too! :)

Anxiety and depression make me feel abnormal too, I feel I always manage to make a fool of myself and do something embarrassing. Even my family tell me I can be awkward to be around. *shrugs* I guess I can't help it. Besides what is normal? Sometimes I'm glad not to be like others I know, they can be so shallow and bitchy. Perhaps being anxious can help us all see things others can't or don't want to? Perhaps that's why we are sometimes considered 'abnormal'? We bring to light what some people don't want to see? I dunno, I wonder constantly about why I'm so 'weird' to others, I know I have mood swings and say things I shouldn't, but I'm generally me in the end.
Anyway don't freak out too much on who you 'should' be, just do what you would normally do in your day and forget about being 'normal', other people can't tell you what is right so you have to figure that out on your own I guess.

Oh and I get that loneliness too, I have a large family and I feel alone all the time. I guess if you don't feel understood then your probably going to feel isolated from everyone. That's what it is for me anyway.

Well good luck with everything and I hope you have a good day soon! :)

Jess.

PS. Your post isn't long at all. You should see the text walls I can produce! XD