New here, my story

[mooks]

Hi I'm new here, but just trying to get some help and support for my anxiety. I get really bad anxiety even when I don't feel like I'm anxious. It started after my step dad passed away from lung cancer, I started to feel like I couldn't breathe properly and my chest hurt and thought I may have it to based on his symptoms. I went to the drs and got checked out, got xrays and they said I was fine and that I has anxiety, at this stage I didn't even believe in anxiety. My grand mother then passed away of esophagus cancer, and she had really bad reflux and heartburn my whole life (had quick eze in her bag not lollies!) I then started to feel like I had reflux and heartburn and that my chest hurt. I thought it might be food allergies because I would feel sick after having something. I usually only feel real bad at night in bed. Then I got engaged and my family abandoned me, made my whole wedding about them and just stressed me out. After then getting blood tests and ECG the dr and my partner finally convinced me I had anxiety and all my physical symptoms were caused by anxiety. I was still a little skeptical but tried to work on it. I got pregnant and because I was so busy worrying about my baby I seemed to get better. I had my lil girl and then my father in law had a heart attack, since then I've felt like there could be something wrong with my heart. It comes and goes. But over the last week I have felt off balance so I went to the drs and she told me when she listened to my heart beat it seemed to skip a beat every minute, I already knew this because I've heard it before, I think since primary school when they teach you how to work out beats per minute in maths. Now I have been referred to a heart specialists to get a 24 ECG holter monitor put on this Friday and now I'm feeling like a burning in my chest where my heart is and tingling down my left arm (which I was told is prob carpel tunnel) I can't sleep and feeling like I can't swallow. I think at least some of it is anxiety but now I'm nervous. And I think it may be causing me more anxiety than I think. I just still don't get how something mental can make you physically feel things? Wow is good to get that all out. My husband is a great help but sometimes I feel like i feel sorry that he is stuck with me and my issues and I'm not normal, and then I worry I will pass my issues onto my daughter and I just want to be back to how I used to be :(

[Enduronman]

mooks,

"you don't understand how something mental can make you feel things physically?".. I personally now have (2) diseases caused by anxiety that went untreated for many years. You will also read throughout these forums that people here with anxiety will report of odd and unexplained pains, shocks, twitches, and again all caused by anxiety friend. The main problem with you from what I read in your typed post is that for some reason you feel the need to grieve for the losses of your loved ones and in turn this is creating, and feeding your anxiety daily. It will continue to grow stronger, more powerful, and begin spreading throughout your body like a plague if we don't get this under control and stopped asap. I know exactly where you are, in your mind and it is the thoughts within your mind, that are causing ALL of these things you've mentioned above...There's a way out of it, we just gotta find the door.

E-Man..:)

[mooks]

Ummm I'm not quite sure how to take your comment. "I feel the need to grieve for the loss of loved ones" ummm yeah of course I do, that's the normal response when you lose someone you love. I held in my grief for too long and that's actually what caused my anxiety. By that time since I developed anxiety I also developed a strange feeling of starting to suffer from what my loved ones died of. My anxiety is now completely related to a fear of death because I lost two ppl I love so close together and my stepdad was young and my nan not too old. I watched them both get sick and then die, Its a completely horrible thing to witness so of course it would make me sad and grieve.

[trinidiva]

I understand that feeling of wanting to get back to how things used to be, I long for those days too....the most important thing is you are trying to figure things out......and you just will need to find what will work for you. I take a small amt of Zoloft and buspar daily, along with going to a therapist for CBT. I have also started taking Tai Chi for meditation, and that has helped tremendously. I try to use those techniques in the morning when I wake up....
I have found also, that this forum is very helpful...we all experience anxiety/panic etc...in one way or another so we can relate. Keep us posted on your progress!!!!