I feel like I can't have fun anymore

[spacefarts]

I am so afraid of people - of trying to impress them, of wanting them to like me, of wanting attention (which I hate myself for wanting) that I never have fun anymore. Hanging out, I'm just so caught up in my head that I don't have fun anymore. Even doing things I used to enjoy I don't find fun. Will this go away? :c Does anyone else have this problem?

[Calii]

I have this problem as well.. Makes me depressed everyday because I can't do anything that I use to because of my thoughts controlling me.

[Buttercup]

This will go away! During depressed/anxious periods it may feel like you will never enjoy life again but once you start tackling the anxiety and depression you can get back to the way you were. It takes hard work and determination but is possible. What help are you getting at the moment to sort out the situation?

[MainerMikeBrown]

Space, if someone's self-esteem is too low, they may become obsessed with wanting other people to like them. They think that if everyone likes them, they'll feel better about themselves.

For one, nobody can get everyone to like them. Second, other people liking you won't help as much as you'd think. Instead, you have to like yourself first. That's what's going to really get you to like yourself.

[ananxiousgirl]

It will go away! Life is full of fun!

[anxiousaimee]

I think having fun is really hard for people caught up in the anxiety struggle, anything I participate in that should be fun (going on a night out, birthday parties, shopping etc) well I don't think it is, but I think this is the first time I've ever really thought of it that way, I'm always just focused on the "taking part" and not making excuses and hiding out in my house. Maybe I have short sporadic moments of fun throughout the event, but generally I'm happy and feel like I've had a great time just for successfully walking out the front door and staying there! I think there's maybe a scale, something like .... 1. Going out 2.Starting to mildly feel comfortable 3.Forgetting about panicing 4.Pleasant time 5.Old self fun? Anyone else have any thoughts on this?

[Rowlz]

It's always going to be hard when you're going through anxiety - but it's still in you. You can find it again.

[Rissa]

I feel the same way. I worry way too much of what people think about me. I also don't like people too close to me. I will back away from people who try to talk to me and if I can't I feel trapped and start to panic and sweat. It's embarrassing. I wish I could just be normal.

[sazco]

I don't like people too close to me either. I'm afraid of someone knowing the true me though.

[harleygrl8]

Remember not to do to much to fast. Baby steps r the key to success. Enjoy all the lil moments cuz they really r important. Remember u are still u no matter what condition u have, try not to let your disorder define u.... :) i know its hard i struggle myself..

[Uzair Abdullah]

harleygrl8 im so sad that i didn't do what you said if i had i wouldn't have been stuck being a kid and doing a course that i thought is would be easy now i regret every moment of my life wishing i could go back in time and say NO to the course suggestion i cry every night saying i wish i could say no because i said yes and well its too hard for me right now im supposed to be in year 7 happily studying and having fun but i dont know what made me feel like doing the course i cant beleive myself i wish i could just quit but i cant because my mum and dad have spent atleast 1.5 million and just give up there money i dont know what to say im always shy i used to be happy making some youtube videos then when i started i got so shy i could rarely come on the camera and not faint

I WISH I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND CHANGE DESICIONS THAT WERE GOOD OR WRONG

[ModsAreCute]

I don't like to think the only way to stop life from being so stale is to talk to a doctor. At that point I pretty much don't have control over my life I'm the doctors crack baby to whatever I am given, also waiting years for a medication to start noticeably making things in life funner is not ideal either although I am taking Wellbutrin. Any tips/tricks/supplements that can make me a functioning human being while still being influenced by the drug to make life more enjoyable? Note: I have anxiety attacks and often think all guys my age are out to get me, like... kill me so I guess a strong legal sedative.

[Forrestnlp@G]

My friend, as a CBT/Clinical Hypnotherapist, I see this quite often, and when I regress my patients, they tend to have an incident that occurred in there past. for instance I once treated a pt. who felt like you,the woman is 37 Y/O, when I regressed her, there was an incident which occurred, when she was 16 y/o, she was not among the popular in school, and but she was quite bright. Now, it is summertime, and she is with her girlfriend at the beach, a boy from school, came running by, and told her, that he wanted to tell her something, but did not know how to put it. she got very excited,what is it. he then said the words you are FAT, this sent a domino effect in her mind, that changed her self confidence, it was only in regression therapy, that these hidden thoughts were able to come out. at this point we change the association to these pictures, gave them new meaning, and today she is doing amazing. there are exercises that can be done. start with controlling your breath, when doing this , it calms the mind, and number 2, look for distractions. if your thoughts tend to overwhelm you, look outside, count how many people you see, or how many mailboxes, you get the point. I hope this is helpful, please feel free to contact me, if you would like other exercises to help you when in crisis mode ;)

[Ponder]

My friend, as a CBT/Clinical Hypnotherapist, I see this quite often, and when I regress my patients, they tend to have an incident that occurred in there past. for instance I once treated a pt. who felt like you,the woman is 37 Y/O, when I regressed her, there was an incident which occurred, when she was 16 y/o, she was not among the popular in school, and but she was quite bright. Now, it is summertime, and she is with her girlfriend at the beach, a boy from school, came running by, and told her, that he wanted to tell her something, but did not know how to put it. she got very excited,what is it. he then said the words you are FAT, this sent a domino effect in her mind, that changed her self confidence, it was only in regression therapy, that these hidden thoughts were able to come out. at this point we change the association to these pictures, gave them new meaning, and today she is doing amazing. there are exercises that can be done. start with controlling your breath, when doing this , it calms the mind, and number 2, look for distractions. if your thoughts tend to overwhelm you, look outside, count how many people you see, or how many mailboxes, you get the point. I hope this is helpful, please feel free to contact me, if you would like other exercises to help you when in crisis mode ;)

The problem with Mental Health Professionals coming into one's home, is it no longer feels like a home.

For instance - the previous message begins with → "... I don't like to think the only way to stop life from being so stale is to talk to a doctor....."
Then the reply comes from a non sufferer/health care professional that ends with "bla bla bla ... Please feel free to contact me .... when in crisis mode."

This place is no longer a home for suffers, but a magnetic for practitioners.

Thanks but - No Thanks Forrestnlp@G - This place is just doing fine without the need for health professionals to come sort out our problems. Were's doing fine helping ourselves.

Please feel free to contact me when you're in crisis mode. :)
________________________________________

Now if you would please be kind enough to shut the door and the way out and continue your practice somewhere else. TY.

[Spider666]

I am so afraid of people - of trying to impress them, of wanting them to like me, of wanting attention (which I hate myself for wanting) that I never have fun anymore. Hanging out, I'm just so caught up in my head that I don't have fun anymore. Even doing things I used to enjoy I don't find fun. Will this go away? :c Does anyone else have this problem?
This might sound weird, but not trying to impress anyone will impress most people. Jesus impressed many people, and still is. Why? Because he was completely detached from his ego and didn't look for any personal gain whatsoever. (Some people also believe he rose from the dead, which I gotta admit is quite impressive.) :) No matter what your beliefs are, I think he's a good role model on how to live life.

[KrazyGinger]

I get this a lot. I'm kinda in one of these spots right now and it's pretty miserable. Wanting attention isn't a bad thing though so don't beat yourself up! Craving attention is just part of being a social human being. The thing is that you gotta figure out what you like to do and just damn well do it. Setting aside 15 minutes is how I start. It doesn't have to be anything complicated. Just treat yourself! The more fun you can have by yourself the more that will transfer into having fun with other people. You have to relax as hard and chliche as that sounds in your current state.

[Jull]

It must be something can interest you, I believe :)

[Kirk]

I used to sometimes care what people thought about me, but as I have aged I have come to realize that the only thing I
can do is do the best that I can and if people don't like it, than too bad for them.

[uniqueme]

I have trouble enjoying things too. the anxiety is just there all of the time.

[Twichard]

You've had lot's of good advice but Kirk hit the nail on the head you can only be you and if it takes until later in life to make true friend's so be it don't waste your time worrying try to get on in life the rest will follow

[Ponder]

Believe in yourself.

[rebeccamcclellan]

Always be positive. Go out and explore the world. Always be happy!

[MariosG39]

I am so afraid of people - of trying to impress them, of wanting them to like me, of wanting attention (which I hate myself for wanting) that I never have fun anymore. Hanging out, I'm just so caught up in my head that I don't have fun anymore. Even doing things I used to enjoy I don't find fun. Will this go away? :c Does anyone else have this problem?

If doing things you enjoyed no longer appeals to you and hanging out with the people you used does not make you feel complete, why not change both? :)

[AussieQuinn8]

I totally understand what you mean.

It's like you're so caught up in what you're doing, how you look, how you're standing, and what your words sound like to others. Sometimes you even lose important pieces of information. Do you feel like this around close friends too?

[JessPaws]

I can't seem to shut my mind. It constantly keeps on chattering in my head - about anything. I obsess over things and can't seem to enjoy. I just wait for the time when I can leave the party and go back home to my room!

[Ponder]

You know what I have found works really well with that voice in your head that just wont stop chattering. I befriended it. Just one of many ways of being kind to self. It really works. :)

Oh BTW ... Welcome to the forum JessPaws.

Have you ever heard of Eckhart Tolle? He has some good stuff on helping to quiet the mind.

[debbie23]

I used to feel like this and get really down on myself but then I started wearing Mantra Magnets, which are earrings I bought that vibrate and reset your amygdala and prefrontal cortex. I wear them before social events to kind of reset everything and calm down. Then I have fun with my friends! It's so great!

[jonathangilbert]

I know how you feel... :(

[Ponder]

It's still pissing down with rain and I don't want to do what I enjoy but fuck it! I'm doing it anyways! See what happens.

[Ponder]

What Happened? At first I felt like shit, but then I started to feel better and in the end ... Yea ... it was kind of fun. Just need to keep working on it. Bit like smiling therapy. Pfffft or :) Or try doing both at the same time. Is what I just did. :)

[Abel101]

Life is beautiful and funny. We are responsible to make it beautiful. So try to avoid negative thoughts. Have faith in you and your life. GBU

[Stifiejohn]

Hi
Its not a big issue but when we are in that phase we admire that my problem is big.

[salvator here]

Try to make ordinary things fun by mixing it up just a little. I you go to the same store, go in a different way and walk around the store in different isles. Look at things you wouldn't normally and always use the free cologne / perfume testers. Heck try on clothes you don't even intend to buy :) Spend just 3 dollars on a art and craft. Windows shopping can be fun, especially when depressed, can lift the mood and make things that would normally be routine into a new adventure.

[Imperfect]

I never thought of doing things like that before Sal. Great ideas. Sometimes I like to change the layout of my home. Move furniture around and maybe add or take away somthing. Go through my things and rediscover what I already have.

[Dahila]

What about listenning Bob Marley or Santana, they always lift my heavy mood. Going to library and touch the books, go to park and hug the trees, Look around you, life is beautiful. Seeing art exposition for me absorbs me so much I forget about me

[salvator here]

Heading out for a walk right now (Its 37 °F here - a bit nippy) so I'll dress accordingly and hopefully the fresh air will perk me up. Actually, anything at all that can make you "Perk UP" is worth it.

[Ponder]

Sounds like a good idea ... I think I might get moving as well.

Thanks for posting!

[Matthew Tweedie Anxiety]

This normally happens when you are experiencing depression and anxiety. Try to consult with a psychotherapist, they give you the best reasons why it happened to you and how you can overcome from it. This may happen because of negative thought however doesn’t waste time in thinking about the problem the best way is try to solve it in minimum time.

[salvator here]

Perhaps rather than seek out "fun", try to seek "comfort/contentment" and keep yourself occupied when feeling low. I find trying to always strive for happiness and joy is unrealistic simetimes give the circumstancs, I'm content now with peace of mind trying to keep my spritis up with little things, and so long as nothing terrible happends during the day, I'm just fine with that and thats a good day.

Just my suggestion :)

[Ponder]

You just nailed the essence of stability Sal ... or at least what it means to me. Most other things that go beyond that rates as trying to hard or meeting the standards as defined by others.

Just do what works for you. It need not be something fills you with Joy and happiness commonly advertised. Just being able to breath properly and be in the moment is enough.

I'm taking up Sal's suggestion.