Help!!!

[mcornejo]

Hey folks. I'm not doing too well. Honestly the only things holding me on this earth are my family and a fear of God. I don't have any real desire to kill myself but I does pop into my head. Anyways my problems have hit an all time high or low. Which ever is bad lol. Over the past summer I've gotten progressively worse. I've had constant derealization 24/7 for the last 5 years following a panic attack I had while high on pot. I barley found out what derez was this summer and then looked up schizophrenia. I eventually got to looking up psychotic disorders and the idea of no knowing if you're awake. Now I question everything even what I think. Sometimes something will pop into my head and I get scared because it's a random thought something I didn't do. I've become sensitized to noise too. For the las couple of weeks I've been super afraid of hearing "voices". I would be watching tv tense as hell and the noise from the air conditioner would scare me because somehow it sounds like mumbling. I listen to things vary hard. Now every time I hear a random noise I think of voices or going crazy. It's just a habit. If something sounds even remotely like my name I get scared. My name is michael so if I hear the words like "micro" or "cycle" I jump or think omg I'm hearing voices! Please someone tell me I'm not going crazy. Im scared enough as it is

[ADD]

Michael pay very close attention to my words: You are not going Crazy, You are just super sensitive at this point. Make sure you consult with a medic about your current situation so they can assist you in improving you situation.

Remember Michael with every difficulty comes easy, stay strong you will endure this as well. Cheers and God bless.

ADD

[mcornejo]

Thanks for the reply. It just amazes me that this is all anxiety. It's so strange how me looking up something on google can turn into this Jesus help us

[Enduronman]

Def not going crazy, but having some crazya** thoughts and suspicions. Get to the fam Dr for a consultation to get some "mood food" and then find a therapist, social worker, psych to get these thoughts cleared out and to help you "realize" what is "derealization".. Also agree to stop googleing s**t too as this is another common thing that people do to try to self-diagnose but in all reality the information just makes one thoughts even more worse but generally has 0 to do with the real problem. Figure out exactly what the conditions/disorders are then treat them friend..

E-man.

[mcornejo]

Will do thanks for the help guys. I just started seeing a psych and taking supplements

[Enduronman]

On the right track now! Understand what "it" is before "it" consumes you any further..

Enduronman..

[mcornejo]

Yup yup. Umm derealization goes away right? I mean that's why I looked it up in the first place and the fact that sometimes things feel super unreal made think I'm going psycho.

[Enduronman]

I am a schizo..This never goes away. You just learn, study, research, until you understand what "it" is.. Then, you are in control of "it" rather then the way it appears now friend. Its a very useful resource to have, when you learn how to actually use and apply this condition, disorder, or whatever scientist and doctors choose to call it...Get it yet friend?.

E-Man..

[mcornejo]

Yup just deal. I mean as life goes on things come in to take the place of past issues. I would assume after awhile you just get used to it. Still It doesnt sound appealing at all

[Enduronman]

You must delete the memory of past issues. File them away, realize they can not be changed, fixed, altered, adjusted,...whats past, has past. Discard all of it, accept all of it, and then focus on new daily issues rather then continually re-visiting past events or experiences. If I ever looked back at my past??..BAAHHAAAHHA!!! It is past, gone, done, over..Live for today!

E-Man..

[Enduronman]

Its WAY more appealing then (anti-psychotics or atypical anti-psychotic) medications friend.. You think it doesnt seem "real" now, wait until a Dr says here take this (risperdal or carbamazepine) then you do feel like your standing on Mars, its reallllllyyyyy wEiRd..

E-Man.

[jhunter89]

..................

[Enduronman]

Thats what they generally do, or make you really feel like "Where the heck am I, or who are you, or who am I, or wtf is going on"... I can not take them.. I like my own world WAY better!!

[mcornejo]

Damn. So hows the daily situation? I mean do you hallucinations?

[jhunter89]

..........

[Enduronman]

No hallucinations..Just super "keen" of my surroundings, people, things that go on around me. 6th sense kinda crap.. I can predict, forecast, foresee things that others can not before they even happen. You need to start studying bruh, you've got a talent that you think is a burden and a strain on you..but it isn't. It's a gift! Learn about it, understand it, apply it..

E-Man..

[mcornejo]

Well I'm not predicting stuff or anything im just super afraid of my symptoms. Everything scares me.

[Enduronman]

"everything scares you?"...Why? Don't tell us, write it down and answer yourself. There is nothing to be scared of..in all reality (0)...

1. You're not stranded in the middle of the Atlantic ocean.
2. You're not stuck in a cave with Hurricane Isaac approaching.
3. You're not in the hills of Afganistan with no ammo.

afraid of what?...

E-Man.

[mcornejo]

Idk I know the majority if not all of my fears are irrational but then again emotions aren't logical.

[jhunter89]

Have you been to see a doctor?

[mcornejo]

Started therapy Wednesday. The doc said that so far I show no signs of psychotic behavior. He said I have extreme low self esteem depression and anxiety. I barly met the guy but he's and expert on psychotic disorders so I'm pretty confident. I think it's just gonna take some time for me to really believe I'm fine

[jhunter89]

Good luck brother

[aforce]

yes its heavy bout of anxiety ....you should consult doctor and within 2-3 weeks you will be fine ....follow your doctor do as directed .....god bless yyou

[mcornejo]

Thanks for the kind words. I understand and accept that its gonna be a bit of a process. I mean I'm undoing 21 years of bad thinking habits. I've always been a worry wart I get it from my mom.