Anxiety on overdrive since health decline

[lisadu]

I am a 43 old female with anxiety and panic attacks since 15 years old. The anxiety has been under control for years but I suddenly had a kidney stone in February that was making my kidney swell. They decided to remove it in April but I had complications after the procedure and 4 more procedures after that. Less than a month after my last procedure, I ended up needing to having my gallbladder removed but had to wait until pancreatitis (which they gave me looking for stones in my bile duct) resolved. All in all, I've had 7 surgeries/procedures, 5 CT scans, and countless other tests. I have to go back today because I have been having trouble breathing and have a low grade fever. My anxiety has been in overdrive since the second surgery. At first I was afraid to be alone and wanted my husband to stay home with me all the time. I have been taking Xanax as needed, but I'm on so many other meds for my kidney, blood pressure, etc., I try not to take them, plus I don't like the zoned out feeling (can you say control freak?). Now I have been afraid to leave the hospital because I'm afraid I'm going to die. I would sit and cry but I don't want to make the breathing problem worse. I have been seeing a counselor and I feel fine for a while after I leave but I see her every two weeks, so the in between week seems to be when I have the worst problems. To top it all off I have a teenage boy who just decided to move out with his unsavory friends and we have to go bankrupt because I have been unable to work. I was supposed to go back to work next Saturday and I am praying they can fix me so I can at least have the work distraction because sitting at home is making is worse. Anyone have similar experience? I can't even tell what is real symptoms anymore or just anxiety.

[Enduronman]

Welcome.
1. 44 yrs old. 3 kids, 1 grandson.
2. 1 of my kids is an addict, with the son.
3. She is granting temp custody to his paternal grandmother.
4. My other daughter has ALL the same mental disorders as I do, kinda funny to watch..like WTF?. LOL!
5. You're not going to die because of gallbladder issues or removal.
6. The breathing difficulties are easily correctable with bronchidialator type meds.
7. Being on (so many diff meds) may be alot of your problem in itself..contraindications, complications, side effects..List them here.
8. My teenage boy lives in another state..just let your boy experience the things that his mind thinks it needs to experience and let it go. Delete the worry or fret asap.
9. Bankruptcy isnt complicated, nor anything to be bothered by either. Thats why its there..and trust me, the creditors could give a s**t less yer just a tiny dot on their radar that they cant even see. I had to file it in 07 after a $100K divorce and all the other BS involved with that and 3 kids...
10. So, yes..alot of us experience this too. Just gotta let it bounce off of you. Worry, fret, concern, neg thoughts need be deleted or they will tear you apart moreso.

"Live for today, look forward to tomorrow, and have hope for the future"...Don't try to continually GUESS the future because thats what eats half of the members here up inside, add this to that, then take that plus this other thing to equal NOTHING..No ONE can predict the future. DELETE IT ALL.. and enjoy your family. Remember, if you're freaking out, then you're forcing your family to freak out too and it is not fair to them in any way, shape, form. Smile. :)

Enduronman...

[lisadu]

Welcome.
1. 44 yrs old. 3 kids, 1 grandson.
2. 1 of my kids is an addict, with the son.
3. She is granting temp custody to his paternal grandmother.
4. My other daughter has ALL the same mental disorders as I do, kinda funny to watch..like WTF?. LOL!
5. You're not going to die because of gallbladder issues or removal.
6. The breathing difficulties are easily correctable with bronchidialator type meds.
7. Being on (so many diff meds) may be alot of your problem in itself..contraindications, complications, side effects..List them here.
8. My teenage boy lives in another state..just let your boy experience the things that his mind thinks it needs to experience and let it go. Delete the worry or fret asap.
9. Bankruptcy isnt complicated, nor anything to be bothered by either. Thats why its there..and trust me, the creditors could give a s**t less yer just a tiny dot on their radar that they cant even see. I had to file it in 07 after a $100K divorce and all the other BS involved with that and 3 kids...
10. So, yes..alot of us experience this too. Just gotta let it bounce off of you. Worry, fret, concern, neg thoughts need be deleted or they will tear you apart moreso.

"Live for today, look forward to tomorrow, and have hope for the future"...Don't try to continually GUESS the future because thats what eats half of the members here up inside, add this to that, then take that plus this other thing to equal NOTHING..No ONE can predict the future. DELETE IT ALL.. and enjoy your family. Remember, if you're freaking out, then you're forcing your family to freak out too and it is not fair to them in any way, shape, form. Smile. :)

Enduronman...

Thanks for the pep talk! The doctor put me on antibiotics and if I don't feel better by Tuesday they are going to check for a blood clot. I am glad to hear of your life experience, it helps to talk to someone who has been through similar issues. I wasn't worried about dying from the gallbladder thing. I was, however, very sick from pancreatitis and my friend almost died with it. I also worry about my kidneys, which are damaged now and I am taking a test in October to see how well they are functioning. I have been trying to write down at least 5 good things about my day everyday to bring the spirits up. Ha! I want to control everything, especially the future! But I am smiling because your post has made it so.