I'm losing it!!

[Dannoman]

Hey Gang,
Just stumbled across this place looking for some answers. I have some major weirdness going on with stress/anxiety. The most recent episode actually occurred about a year ago and has haunted me ever since. I was suppose to go out of town to a managers meeting and was notified a few weeks prior to the meeting, I was selected to give a presentation. I went into complete panic....but tried to play it cool. I went into a major panic/depression episode....no eating, no talking, crying, straight to bed after work....my wife thought I'd gone off the deep end. As the day approached, my boss sensed my mental state and I unloaded telling him I couldn't do it. He was pretty understanding, and said 'dont go' if you cant do it...so I stayed home. I felt so crappy about it, but felt trapped. I have a serious blushing problem in certain social situations...dont know why. Seems like when I'm the focus of attention...I melt, but not always. I prefer to be alone, but usually function ok in groups as long as I'm not the focus. For the last year I have been living in fear of the next managers meeting...I've even considered quitting or stepping down from my management position...but it seems so cowardly. I really cant stand it any longer. I cant even fathom being able to speak in group situations, my mind just goes blank. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Dannoman

[juliana]

Hi there. You're not losing it, you're just dealing with some anxiety. It feels horrible, but it's "just" anxiety.

Sometimes, the best way to conquer a fear is to just face it. Easier said than done, though, right?

Have you heard of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? You should look into it and see if you can find yourself a therapist. He/she will work with you on your anxiety and give you some very practical techniques for challenging your fears, calming yourself down and getting through all the anxiety you're feeling.

There are also lots of books on CBT that are very helpful. You should also talk to your doctor about the way you're feeling.

Good luck. You're not alone in this and you CAN feel better. Anxiety used to rule my life, but now it doesn't.

[asdfgh]

I use to be in your situation, so don't even feel that your alone!!! I think you have social anxiety also. But whatever anxiety you have you can overcome it, trust me. I'll tell you how I overcome mine. Yes it is true that you wanted to stand up against your fear and not back down to it, but you also need to calm your mind first and foremost. When I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder doctor told me to take a deep breath and calm my mind and face my fear and stand up to it. It was nice that he said that, but it still didn't help. So I was very sad and depressed and somehow I have the courage to go to the gym and just work out over there. I was killer nervous because I never been in the gym since I was 18 years old. I'm afraid of talking to people. Anyway I finally justy settle down peacefully at the gym and did my 30 minute cardio follow by 1 hour of intense workout. Believe it or not after the work out I feel so great and I'm not nervous no more. After I check out of the gym I was surprise that I can stand up and talk to people without blushing. But I know my social phobia is still there in a way but it doesn't bother me that much and it was also my first day, I know it is going to take some time for the syptom to go away completlety. Well I started working out 1 hour of intense weight training and 30 minute of cardio 4 days a week and stay away from caffeine or any stimulant. Gussed what? After a month I can tell you that I had successfully overcome the syptom. I probably have only 2% social phobia in me. Which that is nothing. I can stand up to people now and talk with them. And I'm happy with my new body now! People seems to ask me question how I change so much and keep smiling all the time and, they know that my smile is not fake. I know they love to be around me now because they say that I'm always calm and happy. Finally I got a nice and beautiful girlfriend now!!! So if I can overcome it YOU CAN TOO!!! Just don't be lazy, get up and exercise and get out and explore stuff. Focus and determination is the key in social phobia free!!! I hope this is helpful to you. Because I know YOU CAN DO IT. Because I did.

[juliana]

That's awesome news that you've overcome your social anxiety. Congratulations! Facing our fears is so damn hard, but once we get to a place where we can start doing it, things do get better. I got over agoraphobia and panic attacks and anxiety is only a minor, occasional problem for me now.

It's great that getting to the gym and working out helped you so much. In addition to facing your fears, a good workout really increases endorphins in your system and that can boost confidence and make you feel better. Exercise (for me it's walking, yoga and power yoga) make a huge difference in my life. They calm my anxiety and I always feel at my best after an hour of exercise. The endorphins are a real boost to my mood.