After two years of denial, I see my doc 3rd Sept...

[llewellyn237]

Hello, my name is Gareth, I'm new here.

For the past (at least) two years I've suffered from awful anxiety. I'm sure 99% of you reading this will know exactly the feeling I mean!!

Over two years ago I had no idea what anxiety was or how it felt. I'd never known anyone with the problem or read about it. When anxiety first hit me I thought I had a stomach problem... or I was hungry...

One day, about 18 months ago, I spoke to my dad about how I was feeling. I didn't even finish describing my symptoms when he said "you're anxious."

I done a little Internet research and was stunned to find out that anxiety is a mental illness. Me?? Mentally ill?? No f****** way!!!!

I tried to put it to the back of my mind, I refused to believe I suffered anxiety... it got worse... and worse. It's gotten to the point now where I can no longer face going to work and have been absent for a fortnight on Monday. I have a fiancée and three children to support, me not working is going to cause financial problems. I feel like a pathetic failure.

I have a doctors appointment on the 3rd September... what do I tell him? What will he prescribe? What happens from then?

All I want is to be "normal" and live a life like everyone does.

Am I curable or is this with me forever?

[jon mike]

what is actually wrong with you? Like symptoms etc. Don't worry about being mental. Anxiety is not a mental illness. You've been ill advised. First advice. Don't go Googling

[duqgrad]

You did great by wanting to address you issues. Don't wait like I did. My reluctance to seek help may cost me my marriage.

[llewellyn237]

Thanks for your replies.

My symptoms are classic anxiety ones. (Going pale and shaky, emotional distress/upset, fear of impending doom, constant worry of the well being of myself and family, extreme nausea, fear of insanity/losing control, pounding heart, shortness of breath, sweating palms and forehead, tight chest).

Duqgrad, hope your marriage succeeds through this.

[Enduronman]

HOLY S**T MAN!!!...What is your age?...When was the last time you had a physical? BP, vitals, check-up...?...Are you overweight?...Have you ever taken medication and are you presently on any at all?....Be honest here. Important.

Enduronman.

[llewellyn237]

I'm 31 and have three children aged 5, 9 and 10. I live with them along with my amazing fiancée (she is only the birth mother of the 5-year-old, the older two are from a previous relationship).

I had a check-up not so long back, BP is fine. I'm not overweight, in fact my BMI is almost perfect. I'm fit and healthy, apart from a 20-25 a day smoking habit. Physically I'm doing very well... not so much mentally.

The last medication I took was anti-biotics for a throat infection which was about three years ago.

[Enduronman]

Thank you sir!

1. 3 kids in those age ranges= Holy s**t what just happened!.. Mine are now 21, 16, 13, and a 2yr old grandterdson..
2. You'll live through that part of it, we all do..
3. I see alot of things here besides the kids and the fact their just being kids, screaming, running, and screaming again!! WAAA!! sorry, irrelevant..got off track.
4. There is alot of hidden stressors behind the fact that your youngest is 5, you and the mother live together, and you are not married? I'm not going to ask that you answer any questions in regards to this detail on these walls, but I am going to ask you to be honest with yourself and see if you can target the possible cause of this "high anxiety"?....As your title line states, "After 2 years of denial"..What was it that took place 2 years ago that your mind finds to be so "traumatic or memorable or OMG yer kidn me"...

I'm just throwing this out at random as my semi-retarded brain is making my hands type and that is a question?

Who is pressuring you for something and why are they pushing, forcing, pressing????...What do they want????

Not worried about the cigs, they are of no significance to you or to this condition. (other then they MAY cause this, that, those, there,..yadda, yadda)..

If you're going to walk into a Dr's office for the 1st time as scheduled and say "Hello, I'm Gareth and I think I'm going insane".. You're going to have to get to the "source" before you walk into his office so as you know what to say exactly, and also what he may prescribe from there. Good idea trying to get things in order before then, smart.

You will need to get yourself back to work too before then and I've got some ideas for that too if it just because of a social fear of sort..gotta get you calmed down first.

Enduronman...

[llewellyn237]

Many thanks for your reply, all that just for me and you're a complete stranger!! Very much appreciated :)

The worst thing about my case is there doesn't seem to be a trigger point for my anxiety. I just felt it very mildly one day and it steadily increased. Seriously, I've thought and thought and thought about what may be the underlying cause but I just don't think there is one :s

I just read the thread about the person finally admitting defeat and checking into a psych ward... it made me start to panic and fear I might be going the same route...

[Enduronman]

UH, no..yer not going to have to go to a psych ward man. Plus, they wouldnt know what to do with you anyway as you're far from having extreme behavioral disorders. They would however, accept me if I allowed myself, to act like myself (bird noises for no reason, yell for no reason, just to make myself laugh at of course..myself)..Plus, they'll put you on some antipsychotic med like carbamazepine and you'll really be screwed up then hallucinating and delusional! What! Where am I! (Cheech in the psych ward, round padded room, in the straight jacket, chained to the floor...with an itch! LOL!)...

Anyway, interesting that you can find NO stress triggers whatsoever. Rare..In your case, I'm more inclined to believe that there is an actual "underlying" issue then that is masking the ability to find those triggers and that is more then likely going to be just a mild case of depression bruh. It's just everything all added up and combined with the 3 kids, the soon to be wife, maybe the job, maybe some other things that you aren't even conciously aware of at the moment..possibly genetics too. The "anxiety" can be associated as a by-product or effect of a much broader picture as most Dr's think it is anyway, but it alot of cases it really isn't and it can stand alone.

After going over the words we've exchanged here then you're more then likely going to be diagnosed with depression/anxiety or GAD. There are a number of good meds out there to treat this too, and a number of bad ones also. I would probably hope for a scrip for some (Lexapro) if you have insurance and if you don't then just ask for (citalopram) which is the same in all regards minus (1) molecule called the (ES) part of the chain. It's just marketing and strategy from a pharmaceutical company to try to contiue making $$$ on an expired patent, nothing more...Also, a scrip to an actual (anti-anxiety) med would be helpful also but considering you're tired, feel slow and sluggish, then these types of meds are not going to help with energy levels as the (anti-depressant) actually will. You'll have to see how it works for you the best as far as timing in the day to dose. Also, while yer out and about on this upcoming Dr's visit day then stop in anyplace that sells natural supplements and pick up some (Siberian ginseng) as this is an adaptogen and will help to put some of the skip back in yer step, get you up and going out the door, an energy but not like a caffeine type energy that's all shaky, nervous, and wont jack up yer BP either..Really good stuff and of NO harm to use with anything the Dr. prescribes you.

Hope that helps bruh! Time to get yer life back man..

Enduronman...:)

[llewellyn237]

Thanks man, the sharing of your knowledge is fantastic! I'd shake your hand if I could...

[llewellyn237]

Btw, I'm having a particularly bad episode now, as I type my stomach is in knots, palms are sweaty, heart racing and feeling out of breath.

Trying to breathe through it and focus my mind on positive things.

[Enduronman]

Not a problem Gareth! When you have to live with things like these conditions for over 4 decades you tend to be forced to learn alot about them, and share real learned experience with others too as that in itself is therapy enough for me. People in school try to figure people like me out, but I wont let them!! BAHHHAA!! I can boggle their highly trained minds, that's how I find amusement and entertainment!..

Go to the nearest (BIG DEPT STORE) and get some (doxylamine). Its actually a somewhat strong sedative that is sold OTC for about $4 for 30 tablets. Its used as a nightime sleep aid, but in your specific case it will calm you to a normal level without knockin you out..Take (1) 25mg tablet to get yerself calmed down and slow the heartrate too.. It is sold as an individual medication and a generic. (DOXYLAMINE)...It is as strong as a barbituate, which were popular a couple decades ago until they created benzodiapines like xanax and lorazepam (less sedating and actually less addictive then barbituates)...Dr. may give you an inhaler too as your breathlessness is going to throw up a red flag for him. No big deal...You'll be fine man, it just manifested itself deeply in this 2 year time frame but you'll get it under control dude.

Enduronman..