Having a rough day today......

[trinidiva]

I'm not sure why I woke up feeling so anxious this morning, and then again, maybe I do know.
Ive been having renovations in the upper portion of my house, which has caused my family and I to move downstairs into our family room and guest room for the past week. I have not slept comfortably each night. I wake up with a dull ache in my sternum area. This morning, I was just feeling a little lightheaded...and had my husband take my BP. It was 118/60, which is good, but then I start to worry that if I take my morning dosage of BP meds, that it may drop my BP too low, and I truly will pass out from low BP. Last night, I had a headache, which seemed only to effect one side of my face.....I thought maybe I needed to drink more water....so, I did, then went to sleep.
I'm SO incredibly OVER this whole anxiety thing. I'm tired of getting excited when I have a few good days only to have a day like this again. I'm just tired of having to pop meds and spill my guts to a therapist, who I'm sure really couldn't care less about my life or problems.
I pray every morning for strength to get through this......

[Enduronman]

Well,..Just let me know when you're ready, willing, and able to accept the new plans rather then the "I'm so over this anxiety thing and 1 side of my face hurts so I pop some meds and talk to a therapist who read about me in a book and isn't allowed to give a shit about me or my problems anyway plans"....

Oh, and prayin until you suddenly start speaking in Hebrew isn't going to change this either...there's (1) driver of this friggin busride,.. you.

Enduhderphinman.. :)

[trinidiva]

What are the new plans? I have been pretty willing to try everything to try to reduce the feelings of anxiety......other than me exercising 24/7, I'm not too sure what else I can do.
I typically am pretty positive, and try to not think negatively about things, but honestly, this morning, it really got the better of me. I just find I spend a lot of time thinking, (ok, maybe obsessing) over anxiety, panic attacks, etc then just simply enjoying my time with my little ones and husband. I realize that sometimes I can be pretty touchy and sensitive, and probably a drag to be around sometimes.....I have read books on mindfulness, I take meditation and tai chi.....I have completely changed my eating habits, sleeping habits, etc. I've never been the type of person who takes medication, not even a motrin when I get a headache, and after months of putting it off, finally started taking very small dosage of buspar and Zoloft, and have xanax on hand when I get a bad panic attack. I wish I could just find one thing that works, and stick with it....just so I can enjoy my life a little more and be more enjoyable for my family.
As far as the religious aspect, I recently converted to Catholicism, and I do feel a sense of calm and relief when I attend mass......I guess I just need to make that feeling last....

[Sedigive]

Accepting it is not easy. It is natural to want answers even though they may not be readily available. When you feel pain you search for a cause. As you well know the physical symptoms can be in a word horrible! Enduronman, I have no doubt that you mean well and are trying to help but making fun of ones faith is not productive. Being a person of faith doesn't necessarily shield you from anxiety. I wish it did because I am a Christian myself. Take care.

[Fashoom]

It's the standard progression of anxiety and panic disorders: The fear of the fear. The feeling of intense anxiety/panic is so out of control and awful that it becomes the thing we fear most. Stick w/ the Buspar and Zoloft - they're good medicines and have helped a LOT of people. Keep a diary and report to your doctor so they can tweak your meds as needed. And put away the whips -- panic disorder is a condition that effects millions of people. You didn't choose it, it's what life threw at you. You'll be OK.

[trinidiva]

I had a better day today....I had a vacation day scheduled....and spent the day taking my little boy to school for the first day of school. It was just a lovely relaxing day, spent enjoying my children, and I even got a little shopping in.

If I could do this day over and over, I would!!
Thank you all for taking the time to comment... I really think we can all help each other in ways that perhaps our family members, spouses, friends, etc..can't.....not because they don't want to, but just because they haven't experienced anxiety issues first hand. Wishing each of you a peaceful day......