Not exactly sure what's wrong with me

[AvionCore]

*Message to mods: I wanted to delete this thread but I can't for some reason. You cats probably won't see this, but whatevs

[Enduronman]

WOW! Welcome..

You type more words then I do!..Thats really what you needed to do anyway. Holy s**t, gotta work FAST cuz yer going to the Dr tomorrow..I hate deadlines, but I adapt very rapidly regardless...I will offer some words, use them, or toss them..Your choice, words are easy!

Considering your intro was so lengthy I'm just going to go from what I actually read to be of use..discard the rest.

1. Always a worrier about everything even throughout childhood. Check to see if your parent were breathing while asleep?...hmmm
2. Obviously you have GAD, and from what I see you were born with it. You were 'gifted' with a genetic predisposition from both parents to eventually lead you to meet Mr. Anxiety. It isn't anyones fault..its nature. I'm also just speculating that neither of your parents have any sort of mental issue that is serious in nature yet one of them may have signs of a depressive state. Remember, I'm just typing what my pea brain is telling me to type..dont overthink this.
3. So, GAD with Panic Disorder so far...hmmm
4. Emotionally "flatlined". Reason I put that in parentheses is that MOST of us here can't stop bouncing off the walls, or sit still..this is different. Depressive symptom.
5. I can see, sense, feel, your frustration in all this hodge podge of stuff mixed up as one huge disorder that is crushing your spirit..whats weird is, you know you still retain the spirit, you just cant reach it or know where to find it...These disorders wont allow you too. They are hiding it from you, and you know that too..yer smart but you cant figure out how to open a door, with no doorknob..=restlessness, frustration, anger,..it is dizzying especially when you cant see it.
6. Ok,..Also, the use of lorazepam is obviously a major contributing factor here too. It alone, can cause and or heighten the underlying disorder itself. In your case as I read through your complaints list..I personally think that this medication is increasing or heightening symptoms that you already had but were not as intense earlier on in your life. Also, it seems you may be a young adult with a still developing mind/brain and this med in particular may distort or suppress that as well. Basically, I DO NOT LIKE THE ATIVAN USE IN YOUR CASE. It does not compliment your condition, it complicates your condition..DEMAND AN ALTERNATE TOMORROW PLEASE. Thank you, sorry to yell...:) (tell yer parents to tell the Dr that it appears that she is becoming MORE DEPRESSED, AND MORE DETACHED, AND WE WOULD REQUEST A CHANGE TO ANOTHER MEDICATION IN THIS SAME CLASS PLEASE. It's in the (benzodiazapine) class=anti-anxiety meds..

So, here's your diagnosis from Dr. Endorphin Man in cyberspace and remember I'm just going from your words, placement, emphasis, thought pattern, memory, order...yadda bla..and NO I'm not a Dr.,,I'm an idiot that just knows alot of stupid things that are sometimes useful to others...Don't worry, I dont mind be semi-retarded cuz its kinda funny!

You are a complete trainwreck!..(hey, wait..Thats what my Dr told me, not you!)..

You have generalized anxiety disorder, with panic disorder, with social anxiety disorder, ( a phobia of some sort that I can not pinpoint "checkin in on your parents?") yet this may very well be attached to the anxiety disorder itself..IDK on that one,..moving on, with what once was a mild depressive state that evolved to what grew to a major depressive state over time. One thing is feeding on another, and another...Here is a MUST do, ditch the Ativan..switch that, ASAP.

The tools to build you a better quality of life is mere hours away..You just gotta get the right ones.

Hope that helps you!! I got faith that it will....

Goodluck!

E-Man. :)

[Enduronman]

I intentionally left 1 word out on purpose..didnt want you to freak out about it but I see "tendencies" revolving around this disorder in you. It isn't a crippleing or painful condition. In fact, some of the most intelligent people in the world also had this disorder too. You have made mention of it in your last reply..The worst thing you could do now is to try to run from it, and ignore it..because you cant outrun it, and it wont let you ignore it either..Accepting your "gifted talent" is what you have to do, and do it asap.. I too have that disorder, but it doesnt bother me..I use it to my advantage so it and I are quite cooperative friends...Get it?

I think you do. Also, the ATIVAN issue is non-negotiable with any Dr...trust me on this one. Dont allow them to force, and then push you out the door..

E-Man. :)

[Enduronman]

Check your inbox Avion...

Great to meet you and wish you the best for tomorrows Dr visit too!! HOPE FOR SUCCESS!!!

E-Man..

[Enduronman]

PS:..Not PTSD...You're not a candidate to be blessed with that one!..

E-Man..:)

[Enduronman]

EXCELLENT!! Now, you know which direction to go...enjoy your walk!

Enduronman..:)

[Enduronman]

SUCCESS!! HAAHHAAAHAA!!!! That is great news Avion. Weird that he would describe everything that you "expected" him too isn't it?..Dont answer that...Yes, sitting at a computer can be frustrating for many, especially if they dont even know what they're looking for to begin with!..

Yer very welcome friend!

Enduronman...:)

[digbee]

Try a test which could tell you what's the matter and also something about its bases or causes. It's at psychance.com, mentalfit online test. Good luck!

[Enduronman]

I did..it said I was an Alien!

:)

[kzac]

It will fade the pills will take another week or so to kick in about a month to take full effect! Just ride it out dont let the symtoms scare u! Try a relaxation tape before sleep that will help, maybe not on the first nite but stick with it!

Kellyx

[Enduronman]

grrrr..You can't send PM's yet?.. Well, here's an idea then! Start out 15 new threads! Just like this: Hi. I. Am. In. A. Depressive. State. I. Really. Need. Your. Help. Throw. Me. A. Friggin. Rope. Please....There ya go! hey...that's 17!! 2+2= Blue!

Ok,..I know exactly where you are. You are stuck as an extra in the movie "Groundhog Day" with Bill Murray..(It won an Oscar!..well, maybe not but it was still a good movie anyway. Hey look, its Ned Ryerson,,BAM!)...

Avion, I can send PM's.. I am sending a few words of hope your way ASAP! There's a way up and outta there, you just gotta find it so the message may give you some hints or clues as to the way...

Enduronman..:)

[Enduronman]

Yer welcome! Now watch "What about Bob"!..Hilarious!

If (1) panic attack is the most tauma you've ever experienced then first off, YER LUCKY!, second, yes your brain has stored this and classified this in the same catalog as it would if you were attacked by Bigfoot, abducted by Aliens, or strapped into the G-Force chair as used by NASA to see how you like to spin around and how fast you can go before your have a brain hemorage...SO,..considering NONE of those things happened nor will they ever, just relax and try to figure out where to find the DELETE button in your mind..

If I didnt find the DELETE button, do you know how many horrifying and terrifying moments I would have to continue to re-play or re-live in my mind???

I don't think you really wanna know that answer..but my wife does. Very, very, many...

Enduronman..:)

[Enduronman]

Few more questions?
1. What was your BP at the Dr's office?
2. Do you smoke, drink?
2. How would YOU rate your overall physical health, shape, condition?..
4. What EXACTLY is still going on after 3 weeks on pristiq and other meds??

E-Man.

[Enduronman]

Yes it helps greatly, and I'm glad to see you've made some progress in actually moving forward so that is awesome news in itself!. The dream that you mention are as you may already know, after effects of what you found to be the most horrifying moment in your life..a panic attack. The 15 to 20 pounds doesnt really bring cause for any concern but knowing your actual BP would be of great resource to us to know also. Alot of (AD's) can also increase the liklihood of "vivid or disturbing" dreams but the fact that you're actually making it to dreamland is actually a positive benefit. The "pounding heart" is reason for me to kinda press you for an actual BP reading and pulse rate also as your BP may be abit on the high side especially if you're eating "sodium packed" foods. That's the (1) comment that would need to be clarified or discounted. You may be a perfect candidate for low dose (beta-blockers) which stop, block, cease, the need for the heart to pound...All the other side effects you've listed are in the (most common) catagory so I'm really happy you're feeling better and at least functional and productive. Day 19 still may be just abit early to really notice the true effectiveness of this medication too so maybe another week. AND please get that BP!! :)

Enduronman..