Parents dont like my bf... anxiety through the roof...

[Silmarwen18]

Ive been with him for 18months... and they just dont like him... they say so many awful things about him... including:
Hes fat,
Hes arrogant
Hes lazy
Hes dirty
He doesnt love me
I dont love him i just need someone to say they love me
and much much more...

Hes 27... my parents have no right to be like this to an adult... i mean I know they care about me.. im only 19, but still for crying out loud i can make my own choices and hes 27!! I think he knows what hes doing with his life and hes old enough to know he loves me. Hes already told me he loves me so much he wants to marry me and build a home together. He even wants to have a baby with me but has said he wants to do everything the right way (marry, move in and then kids) he does everything he can to encourage me with my studies, my job and he makes me so happy just by being around.

My parents think hes a bad influence and that I should break up with him...

I want to tell them to back off, but everytime I stand up for him or myself i get told im protecting him and that I dont love them if i do protect him...
My relationship with my parents is fantastic, it always has been but how can I become the adult I am when they keep treating me like a 14 year old still in highschool??

Its sending my S.A.D and my panic attacks absolutely haywire....

[camilla91]

Hello :)
I had the same problem.
Even after having my son at 18, moving out, never asking for anything, doing everything by myself (my son was never babysat until my 21st birthday) they still treat me like a child.
Spoke to me like a child, scolded me like a child, made me FEEL like a child.
You are only 19 and that is pretty young, but if you don't want to be treat like a child don't act like one! Lol I don't mean that in a harsh way I mean as they don't like your boyfriend? So what. You like him who cares what they think? He's yours. Not theirs.
If you argue with them (like a teenager does) there just going to be even more convinced, the fact he's 27 is obviously going to be an issue aswell.
Just refues to discuss him with them, I would.
Gotta say though be careful because usually when a man wants to get married, have kids, live together so quickly there quite insecure but I could be wrong!
Good luck :)

[dazza]

No offense, but 19 is WAY too young to be thinking of marriage, moving in and kids in my opinion.

Near all couples who get hooked up in their teens and early to late 20's end up splitting, or at least miserable later on when they realise they've missed out on so much stuff.

We go through so many changes between our teens and into our 40's. We find ourselves, we flourish, we grow up and what appears to be the right thing now might be the biggest mistake you ever made in 10 or even 20 years time.

My advice... live a little first. You don't even know what love means yet imo.

This doesn't mean you have to split. Just cool it a little. There's no rush.

[Silmarwen18]

We dont plan on actually getting married and having kids and all that for a very long time... we plan to travel and live first. I was using them as an example to say that hes not the kind of asshole who just wants sex and who doesnt give a crap... i was trying to illustrate that we wants to be with me and he'll always do the right thing and that he would never do anything to hurt me because he is genuinely a good guy..... and for some reason my parents bag him all the time, and soon as i make a mistake its him... you know, i went out late last night with him, i have a cold and had worked a full on my feet shift at work beforehand... I was an hour late to TAFE this morning.... they dont even care because im not under 18 im ALLOWED to show up later if I so wish... but still i overslept by an hour and its HIS fault because hes a bad influence for taking me out late.... for crying out loud im sick and work was super full on maybe i was just freaking tired and missed my alarm... that doesnt make him a bad influence on me.... see what I mean?

[Silmarwen18]

Im so scared that he is going to get sick of my parents and leave me... he tells me all the time he wouldn't dream of it but im terrified that its going to happen...
I plan to live my life with him by side, travel places together, see things together, years in the future maybe marry him and stand by his side as his wife for the rest of my life... Correction: we've actually been planning this together for a while, we cant wait to go to Europe together next year :)
Everything we have is going to get torn away and destroyed... because they cant seem to be happy for me and figure that maybe theres reasons for things not just my boyfriend?!