Hello! Its time to get my life back!

[imb1987]

Hi, I'm Ian! I'm a college student, work full time and still try and maintain a healthy social life. About two years ago I was diagnosed with GAD. My anxiety has always been on and off in couple month spans. I first noticed it the summer before my junior year of high school. I was laid out the whole summer, in and out of the emergency room and pretty much lived on my couch. Once I started school, it seemed to go away and and faded into my past. In 2010, I got out of a 5 year relationship. My life was turned upside down and the old feelings of panic and anxiety returned. After dealing with the attacks for months and at the advice of my counselor, I finally went and saw my doctor. I was put on Buspirone HCL and Lorazepam. They seemed to work well. I'm the type that has never really had a problem with making friends or being in social situations. I love going to parties, meeting new people and being with my friends. After about 10 months, I talked to my doctor and counselor about getting off the meds. I never felt like me on them. They made me feel like crap and my friends and family saw a different person while I was on them. I was off the medication till June of this year when I noticed the symptoms coming back. Over the course of the past two months, my dosage has gone up and so have my number of attacks. My escape from the attacks use to be getting out with my friends and having fun.. until I started getting attacks when I was with them. The attacks reached their climax when I had to start making excuses to leave social gatherings after being there for only 10 minutes sometimes. Even though some of my close friends know my condition and are very understanding, the embarrassment I felt was enough to make me start isolating myself from my fiends and social gatherings that I use to love and look forward too. I was afraid to leave my own home in fear that I would be somewhere I couldn't escape from if another attack happened. I never felts so alone; a prisoner to my own mind and my anxiety. Which brings me to where I am today. While I have taken some steps to starting feeling healthy again (starting counseling again and facing situations that I am terrified of), I feel like I need to do more to get help. I'm sure like many of you, I have spent hours and hours on the internet finding tips on dealing with my anxiety. Why I have never thought sooner to join a forum with people who know what its like to feel to live with this I will never know lol! While my friends and family are very understanding, none of them have an anxitey or a panic disorder. Finally, I hope to find here some support here that I need and in turn, equally help anyone I can here with understanding, insight and anecdotes from myself who has been there and knows what its like to walk a mile in your shoes!

I look forward to meeting some great people and here is to getting that life back!

-Ian :)