ever feel like your just loosing it?? need some answers

[crystalrose1985]

so the past few months have just been heck for me! i usually work full time + and have since 15, i was injured at work dec 28th 2011 and have been out of work since. I am only making 40% of what I normally do, the bills are very far behind, car almost got taken away and we are living on and off without power.....i am usually a moderatly active person as my job is pretty physical, but as of late i feel like such a lazy person physically and mentally. doing any kind of physical work or anything just plane old drains me and makes me feel sick. my anxiety was subsided for the past 3+ years (started about 4 1/2 years ago) but recently also has flaired up so darn bad i can barely handle it. I take .5mg of alprazolam prn for anxiey but have been perscribed a daily about a month ago by my mental health dr, but my anxiety it self has me to scared to even start it alone. my dad who is an alcholic without a job lives in my basement, my 23 year old brother also lives with me along with my boyfriend of 5 years they all depend on me for anything and everything. None of them really understand the anxiety at all . I basically feel like im having a breakdown/loosing it.....my anxiety and injury had dibilitated me and i just do not know what to do any more......my question is, is there anyone out there who has ever felt like this? like literally loosing it! i have an apt with my pcp tomorrow and i kind of want to talk to her about it, but just dont know how to approch it?!? nor do i know what can really be done? anyone? anything? please help haha literally at the point of chewing nails and pulling my hair out.....thanks

[Enduronman]

Hey 1985,

Each persons issues are all variable in many different degrees. Yes, we ALL have the same feeling overall, just different circumstances behind the exact same feeling. The body does not know nor care what the actual issue causing the stress, anxiety, panic, fear even is as it processes it all and compiles it into 1 response..adrenal fatigue, stress hormone dump, throwing all systems outta sync, spiraling out of control that could eventually lead to a "nervous system breakdown'. There are simalarities in your story, that kinda resemble my own..but each with the exact same outcome= no control.
1. You were disabled and unable to work since Dec 28th of last year. I was disabled and unable to work since May 28th of this year, but not by injury..a disease.
2. If you have not yet filed for SSD, then by all means do so immediately..Why wait? I filed already as this disease is unpredictable, kinda like the future.
3. You've been working since 15. So have I, except I'm 44 yrs old and have NEVER been down for reasons beyond my own control or my own doing.
4. Call your local trustees office and ask them for guidance in regards to immediate financial needs. Thats why theyre put in place, for case like yours.
5. Your job is moderatly physical. My job is extremely physical and always has been for nearly 30 years. Thats why my own BODY just stopped working.
6. Being physically handicapped or disabled (sedentary lifestyle) and throwing xanax in on top of that...may = depression or a depressed state of mind.
7. Having an addict parent that lives in your basement is a chronic stressor all by itself, as you worry about his welfare probably daily but it is his choice.
8. Living with a sibling, is something I could not do, that is also tough..
9. Having a BF living there (of 5 years) is also adding in stresses too, because theyre all depending on "a physically disabled person to provide for them?" whoa.
10. I can see why youre having a "nervous system breakdown" as you have just posted it on this wall. I bet youre loosing it because of the improper demands that it seems theyre all placing upon YOU when YOU cant even take care of yourself???..Am I reading this right??? Are they ALL handicapped, incompetent, blind, missing a limb, or deaf????... Are they ALL rendered incapable of being contributors to the households needs????... hmmm, Do YOU see the picture now?
11. Why allow them ALL to place such huge burdens and demands upon an individual that unfortunatly can not handle the burden and demand she already has herself?
12. Is your kindness, caring, generosity being abused without your really seeing this? OR Do you for some reason think that you're responsible for ALL of them and their welfare?...If so, WHY?
13. Without the physical ability to produce, provide, and perform to your own expectations to meet your own needs then why feel overwhelmed by their extra added external pressures, needs, necessities, requirements????...

You just wrote, your own presentation to your pcp tomorrow friend...Literally.

Write these points down, in order, numbered, and ask he/she to please listen for 5 mins...then assess. Don't add in anything else, no other words, stay on track, focus on correcting these issues (that are actually 1 big bundle with separate fingers).. Your visit will be productive, goal oriented, to the point.

The ???? marks I've placed there for you will help yourself, to answer to, yourself...simple.

Just some thoughts friend and goodluck tomorrow too.

Enduronman...;)

[agraves911]

Anybody who deals with as much as you do deserves to lose it once in a while. You're overwhelmed and understandanble so. Try to take some time out for yourself.