How to get yourself out of this?

[Bridgie]

I moved to a rural area 3 years ago. I work from home. I don't have much social interaction, and when I do, it freaks me out. I can't drive anymore. I am starting to get panic attacks even when my husband and I go to the grocery store. When a neighbor pops by, I get nervous and panicky.

I know what I need to do is desensitize myself, but I just can't find the courage to do it! I can't sleep anymore. I wake up every night in the middle of the night. I anestasize myself with alcohol so I can deal with it. I was on Zoloft last year but went off it because it didn't help. I really think all those anti-depressants work for depression, but not anxiety. The one drug I have found to help is Clonazipam, but I don't want to take that all the time. It's very proactive, but if somebody drops by unexpectedly, that doesn't help, because it takes about a half hour to take effect. It is an anti-seizure medication.

So how do you get yourself out of this situation? And don't tell me go see my doctor, because the thought of it throws me into a frenzy! I do not want to be on medication. I need to force myself to interact with people on a regular basis and try to drive, but it is very very hard!

[Quinn]

Relax. :lol: (He says to the person with anxiety.)

You've got a problem but don't try to rush yourself into recovery. You can't rush it. All you're doing is overwhelming yourself. Don't be so concerned with getting better in X amount of time, just concern yourself with getting better.

A good thing to do is realize that what's happening is normal. There's nothing wrong with being nervous or anxious. It's a normal thing and no one is immune. Something you might try is calculating. Next time you go to the grocery store try to add everything up in your head as you make your way through the store.

Always get involved with whatever you choose to do. DON'T leave. What I mean by this is stay in your body. Don't go off somewhere in your mind, you need to be where you are. So, keep your head up when you interact even if you don't have much to say. It's okay to contribute nothing. No one is going to show up and say, "We're here to collect on what you owe us for holding up our end of conversation.". (Actually that would be pretty cool. Social Interaction Debt Collectors.)

Oh, and when you drive just try to remember things. Pay attention to street names, locations of big bumps in the road, interesting houses...anything. The problem comes about when you leave a situation in your mind. It's like being conscious in coma. Mind is running circles while your body won't budge. That kind of thing leads to madness.

One more thing. If you aren't doing anything don't let your mind do anything. Don't worry about the various things going on in your life. Don't think at all. Just shut it off for a while. I've found that it greatly improves my disposition.

[Bridgie]

I know exactly what you're saying Quinn. If you start to dwell on the anxiety in your mind, it just makes you more anxious. I get myself all worked up when I know that company is coming or something. But sometimes I can't just pass it off like nothing is going on inside my head, because I'll start shaking uncontrollably. I mean slight tremors, and somebody else may not even notice it, but I do, and others have seen it before. When I went to the Eye Doctor the last time, my spasms were so bad I felt sorry for the Eye Dr. I mean I really wasn't afraid, but could not control my shaking!

If I have a lot of work to do, that helps to distract me.

Thanks for your advice Quinn. Keep it coming :lol:

[SwainThang]

I am considering talking to my family Dr. about taking something for my problem. I am almost 34 years old (Sept. 5th is my b-day- yuck) and have been the way I am for as long as I can remember. I hate meeting new people. I am fine when I finally get to know someone and have been around them for a long time. I DESPISE new situations around people I do not know and most times around people I DO know. I recently moved to a home way in the country (away from everyone- our closest neighbor is my husbands mother, which we set up for her). This is where I am happy at. I am a homebody. I don't mind going out to go shopping or getting gas etc, but do feel extremely uncomfortable being around other people out there in the real world. If I am around a lot of people, I get sick to my stomach, tense and so frustrated. I have a small work at home job doing medical transcription. I do this for the Dr.s office my cousin works for. I guess this is why it is SO easy for me. I am now ina situation where I am going to be dropping off a job application (this Wednesday) at a shoe store. I have met the store manager a few times through my husband. I am so stressed out right now. I would LOVE for something to happen so I could back out of it completely. Yet, I want to get a job so we can have some extra money. It makes me sick and makes me want to just break out in tears thinking about it. My husband is extremely outgoing, open and very self confident. So he does not understand what I am going through, I have tried to make him but he does not. I would give anything if I could snap my fingers and I would be a totally different person. Outgoing, self confident and happy about myself. I am happy with my life all except for this aspect of it. This is years in the making of a huge huge problem I cannot deal with. Meditation, music, clinging my keys together? That does not seem like any kind of option for me as a fix. Or even as a temporary fix to get me through the "moment".

[Quinn]

Bridgie, no prob. You should always be honest and unashamed. I met a guy my father occasionally works for to talk about some artwork he needed done. A few minutes after I got there I apologized for how shifty I was and told him that I had bad nerves. I always liked for people to know about my problem, it removes whatever confusion there may be about me.

SwainThang, I was born on September 5th too. Maybe there's some mysterious link. :lol: My ex-girlfriend was like that. She didn't understand at all. I remember her saying "It's just 15 minutes away. It's not that far.". Yeah. She didn't know that it was a 15 minute hell ride. Of course, she wasn't the sharpest lamp on the shelf. :lol: Anyway, keep yourself occupied until the day you head to the shoe store. Worrying about it isn't going to make you any more ready than you will be if you don't worry, so give yourself a break. You'll do better if you wait to deal with it instead of dealing with it before it happens. Does your husband get frustrated with you?

[SwainThang]

A little yes. Not mad but he just does not understand. He is the complete opposite of me so he doesn't get how I can be the way I am. Thank you for the advice.

[Quinn]

Well, if you're feeling pressure to be better for him, don't. You'll get better in your own time. Until then only concern yourself with what's best for you.

[butterfly]

hi i am new to this group. i have been looking for a long time to connect with people who share some of my problems. i have good friends but yet they really don't understsand my fears. i get so angry with myself at times thinkinbg why can't i do this or that. my main fears are driving and being alone. i do see a dr-a psychologist. i have been on medication in the past but with terrible results. i feel so stuck now i can't seem to make myself go forward and to live like this is so horrible. i do work but i only drive 2 min from my home . does anyone have any suggestions on how i can move forward?