Perfectionism - My Biggest Problem

[sunshine_cleaning]

I've suffered problems with perfectionism since I was a child and, since my teenage years have caused me some significant problems, even leading to suicide attempts because I was tortured by constantly feeling like I'm not good enough. I thought this problem would ease off (at least to some extent) when I grew older, but I'm now 22 (with a college degree, a solid career and a long-term, stable relationship) and my problem with perfectionism is showing no sign of relenting.

Here are just some examples of what I go through:
1. Constantly beating myself up over past mistakes - Seriously, some days I'm even thinking about silly little things that happened over a decade ago.
2. Constantly beating myself up over every little shortcoming in my daily life, from skipping church or the gym or having a chocolate bar as a 3pm pick-me-up instead of a healthy piece of fruit.
3. Setting very high (or - as people often tell me - unrealistic) goals for myself and then getting upset when I can't meet them.
4. Eating disordered behaviours (although not a fully fledged eating disorder) and chronic dissatisfication with weight and looks.
5. Feelings of guilt over spending money for things that aren't necesscities (even if it's just a couple of dollars for a takeaway coffee or something).
6. Feeling weak and pathetic whenever I get sick or have problems.
7. Feeling horrible guilt when I take time off work. Even when I'm really sick, I find myself going into the office so I don't have to live with the guilt of having a day off.
8. Constantly monitoring each and every little detail of my life to see where I can do better.
9. Generally feeling like I'm completely inadequate and not good enough in all areas of life. I find it hard to live with myself because all I can see is flaws.

Does anyone else suffer like this?

[dazza]

Hi

I haven't got anywhere near the level of perfectionism as you, but I do suffer a little.
(Mine's not a problem, but, even with having a low level of perfectionism I can understand where you're coming from)

Mine's more of a "a job isn't worth doing unless it's done well" - which I must admit, sometimes causes a few minor problems.
Not good in my job, since being a specialist electronics designer + programmer, after finishing writing some software (and the product out there on the market) for example - I often think, "ahhhh shit... I could have done that better".

However - I'm able to then turn that around and think, "well - it works and customers are pleased with it, so there isn't a problem"

As far as looks are concerned, I can also relate to that. I've always tried to keep up my appearance and as a teenager, I used to see spots as the devils work.
(In my teens - I even tried to burn a spot off my face once with a cigarette!!! LMAO! still got a wee scar I think)

Losing my hair was a serious issue when it started. I mean SERIOUS.
Very depressing in your early 20's I can tell ya... but, I finally got the balls to shave it and, well, I'm still handsome, lol
(Besides - a lot of women folk love shaved heads :-) )

Anyway... I digress.

Sooo, seen a therapist about this?

[sunshine_cleaning]

Sooo, seen a therapist about this?

No,I haven't seen a therapist recently (although I did have a few experiences with therapists in my teens). But I'm just against it. Such a waste of so much time and hundreds of dollars.

[dazza]

No,I haven't seen a therapist recently (although I did have a few experiences with therapists in my teens). But I'm just against it. Such a waste of so much time and hundreds of dollars.

I agree it'll be a waste if it doesn't work but, if there's a chance it will help then you can't put a price on it...