how does my uncle do it

[nick78hh]

I'm posting this about my Uncle because it's been botherin me for a bit

He's 48 years old and lives with his mom. It's not a small house, he has his own living room, kitchen, bathroom and all that but still, he never moved out. I have been alive for 24 years and in this time, I have never seen him with a girl or going on a date. He has no social life, all he does is sit in his living room and watch tv and smoke and drink. He does have a job but he hardly makes more than minimum wage.

I'm not tryin to be mean but I feel bad for him. The thing is though, he seems happy. He never seems down or anything. It's great that he's happy but I can't figure out how he wakes up every day even though his life really isn't that great. Sure he may enjoy it but most people would despise it.

One thing I worry about is that I may end up like him :/ I'm havin financial trouble, planning on going to school in January though, don't really have a social life, as most of my friends have moved on with their lives and I am awful with women. lol

Anyway, what do you all think of this. I mean does anyone know someone like this?

[togekiss]

Anybody with enough power can wear a happy mask while having countless and crippling underlying issues. Being 48-years-old and living with his mom, I'm willing to bet that he probably does wake up every day and know that his life isn't that great and not enjoy it. Smoking, drinking, and watching TV are indicators that he is aware of the problem but has long giving up on dealing with it. The fact that he works a minimum wage job only stacks onto this.

I could be completely wrong but I've seen the exact same thing with my mother and her brothers as well as a few acquaintances... and I've been stuck in a similar mentality myself. It is depressing to see, and it hurts because you know you can probably never help them. If you are worried about this happening to you, my biggest piece of advice is to never let yourself stay at your parents house for very long periods of time, if at all. It sounds like you have your own place; with school in January, will you be taking dorms?

Do absolutely everything you can to stay independent at your own place. You can live right by your parent's house and come over all the time if you've absolutely got to, but do not make a habit of actually living there. It's a vicious cycle; you only plan to stay there for a short amount of time, until you can get back on your feet, but if you're me and the people I've known with this issue... you just stay there, never getting back up because it's a zone of comfort and it's easy to just fall into this spell of just... not doing anything, wasting years of your life with minimum wage jobs (convincing yourself it's okay because you're making money! but then you waste that money on dumb stuff) and never improving anything. Some people convince themselves that this is okay. Never fall into this spell/trap, it is the worst loving thing to try to break... if you ever even realize how toxic it is and try to break it.

[salevietasia]

could be completely wrong but I've seen the exact same thing with my mother and her brothers as well as a few acquaintances... and I've been stuck in a similar mentality myself. It is depressing to see, and it hurts because you know you can probably never help them. If you are worried about this happening to you, my biggest piece of advice is to never let yourself stay at your parents house for very long periods of time, if at all. It sounds like you have your own place; with school in January, will you be taking dorms?

[allyml]

I really don't know anyone like that. But I think people are different and have different levels of needing to socialize. So maybe that just tells you that that's not what you want, that you wouldn't be happy that way. And it seems like since you are aware you don't want that, you can always make steps to ensure you don't end up that way. Even if you end up h aging a shitty job for some reason, you can always join a club or so,etching, which would make sure that you do have friends!