Still pretty new to anxiety...but I'm trying...

[Amy1981]

Hey guys...

I haven't posted much, but I think I'm just needing a little reassurance today.

I am struggling, super bad, with the ups and downs, that seem to come with my anxiety. I've only been going through this for about 6 weeks (looking back, I've always had anxiety, I just somehow managed to keep it at bay), and really didn't do anything about it, except battle it mentally (which was exhausting) for the 1st three weeks. The anxiety therapist I am seeing, has me using Xanax .5mg three times a day as needed, but I couldn't force myself to take it those 1st three weeks. Finally, after enough mental exhaustion, I did start taking it. There has only been one day, where I have taken the full 3 doses, and that is today, UGH. Yesterday, I didn't need the meds at all, the anxiety was kind of buzzing around lightly in the background on and off all day yesterday, but I was able to keep it at bay, and didn't end up needing the meds...today, has been just the opposite, and it is SO HARD to accept that this is how anxiety (general) works. One day, I don't need the meds help, the next, I take the full 3 doses. Is this REALLY how this goes, especially at 1st, when someone is new, and learning coping techniques, ect? The therapist is using CBT, I'm hoping I am one of the ones who can respond well to CBT, and eventually not need to take the meds so often, because right now, more days than not, I am using the meds as my main tool. I have only had 4 sessions with the therapist, and I know that is not near enough to expect to not need the meds, I am just super impatient....DAILY anxiety/uneasy feelings invaded my life so fast, I feel like I've kind of been run over by a train. Can someone, please talk to me a little bit about why this feels like such a rollercoaster ride right now? .... I'm not feeling too bad about it, I have accepted the meds as a tool, and I know I'm taking good steps, anxiety therapy, and I think I've kind of fell in love with meditation, which really didn't seem to help me at all at 1st, but after sticking with it, it does relax me now, and help me feel less stressed. I have read so many posts, and I know I'm looking for the same answers as everyone else....I guess I just need to hear that 6 weeks in, really isn't that long, in the learning processes to live with, and manage, anxiety.

Thanks in advance, for any words of encouragement....
Amy

[dazza]

Hey Amy

What's all this "6 weeks" business? what happened six weeks ago that wasn't there before 6 weeks ago?

If you were diagnosed with anx' disorder 6 weeks ago then perhaps the diagnosis itself has caused a bit of depression?

In my experience (7 months of anx' disorder), panic attacks & anxiety were at their worst during the first few months.
Hitting a peak around month 3.

As I SLOWLY regained some normality (through understanding / therapy), major attacks became less frequent & were finally controllable by about month 6, but a general, kind of steady state of anxiety took over & still remains with me. Physical symptoms are still present most days, but some days are now completely clear.

You do go through stages and knock-backs. While heightened anxiety is still present you are still vulnerable and will find that certain stresses will set it off.
However, recovery becomes more rapid.
E.g. say something megga stressy happened to me now, it'd still probably set me off... but I'd recover a lot quicker.

Gotta ride it out hon and expect peaks and troughs.

[AceParadox]

Hallo!

I'm new to anxiety as well. I'm not sure if I've always had it, since I've been a hardcore gamer since the 3rd grade. Winning a game and striving to be the best would definitely take the place of any worry... I started getting panic attacks frequently after having my appendix surgery, and finding out that even though I had insurance, I still have to pay off like $3000, which is a lot for me at 20 years old. And money problems are what get me down the most, I can't stand any kind of debt, I need to feel financially secure. I don't want to use meds or therapy if I don't need to, and I've managed to conquer most of my anxiety with just tea, magnesium, amino acids, positive thinking and tons of competitive gaming so I can't speak really say anything about meds and therapy from experience because I have none.

But I just wanna say, you'll get through this! There maybe be rough times, but you'll persevere and come out on top. This anxiety - it don't mean a thing (If it ain't got that swingggg :D), just slap it in the face when it comes and tell it that each time, no matter how big or small the anxiety episode, you'll grow stronger and stronger. You are in control of you. This is your body, and your life. You can do it! and everyone here will be at your side.

If you need some inspiring words, I posted a topic a day or so ago titled "Friend said something inspiring. Posted it here" or something like that. Read it :] It's amazing.

Goodluck!

- Ace

[sharjen]

Dazza- u really sound like your in control of your anxiety- do u take meds??

[dazza]

Dazza- u really sound like your in control of your anxiety- do u take meds??

I'm "getting there" but I'm not totally out of the woods yet (I'm kinda skirting round the edges, sometimes free, sometimes dragged back in)

I have taken meds. when required.

Beta blockers are my first port of call (for light anxiety) since these are less potent.
I've used Diazepam as required for severe attacks. But I stress... ONLY when required.

Both seem to work for me.

Cognetive therapy (6 sessions) was invaluable.

[jessy]

Hi Amy , what Dazza says is ABSOLUETLY spot on !!.
You've not had anxiety very long , I'm afraid you do get up's & downs , good days & bad days , which eventually over time will be good weeks , then bad few days etc .

I have had GAD & depression for a very long time so I know a lot about it by now , yet still it gets me & I have certain times I have to take lorazapam .

It will get easier , keep smiling & know there are millions of others suffering just like you . Xxx

[Amy1981]

THANK YOU for the replies guys....just hearing it, even though I've read it thousands of times on the forum already :) .... really does help.

Dazza, the "6 weeks"....is the "obsession" that I need to get over, and leave behind...that is when I had the full blown panic attack, UGH.

Jessy....just looking for your opinion, as I said, the therapist has me on Xanax, only as needed, and the smallest recommended dose for anxiety disorder. I DO have days when I don't need the meds at all, right now, they are fewer than the days that I do need the meds, but when I take it properly (I was breaking the pills in half, and only taking 1/2 of the dose they want me to take, when the anxiety starts pushing really hard), it does work, and it works very well with no side effects. Today, I have not needed the meds help at all, so in the last 3 days, 2 of the days, I haven't used the meds. The fact is, I'm still very new to this, and things to "spook" me easily...I'm not positive what Lorazapam is, but the therapist "threatened" me, that if I didn't start using the Xanax as directed, instead of breaking them in half, and then feeling disappointed when it didn't work, that he was going to suggest I switch to a daily medication, that I just have to take every day. That would be very hard for me, I don't want to take meds at all (I know, who does)...but I fought so much on taking even the "as needed" medication, like I'm supposed to, in your opinion, is he right? .... Am I better of (with what I have described), using a faster acting, as needed medication, than going on something I would need to take daily? I have accepted the Xanax, and am using the full dose he has prescribed, and like I said in the beginning post, I have only ever needed to take the full 3 doses one time.

Thanks again for the replies, and advice guys...your experience is priceless to me :)
Amy

[alankay]

Amy, if you have Generalized Anxiety(GAD) I'd ask about a longer acting med like valium, klonopin or clorazepate as well as an ssri like zoloft starting at a low dose. It would even out the blood levels of the med in your blood and reduce any roller coaster effects although xanax is a potent anti-anxiety med. More often is used for panic but there is a long acting version as well(only actS a bit longer). PM me any time. Alankay

[Amy1981]

Thanks alankay....I really have a love/hate relationship with medications...I REALLY REALLY don't want to take any at all, which is why they have allowed me to stay on Xanax, just as needed. I don't know how I would feel about taking something every day :( I am trying very hard to just give this time, and give my therapist time. He asked for 6-12 months, of me using the meds, as needed, before refusing meds altogether. I honestly am trying to do that, I have stopped breaking the pills in half, and am actually taking the dose that he wants me to, and honestly, it works, perfectly, and I have no side effects. Two out of the last four days, I haven't used the meds at all, the anxiety has stayed at a level that I could control it without fear of it turning into a panic attack...I'm hoping that is a step in the right direction? The therapist wants me to use the meds EVERY time the uneasiness starts to push at me, but sometimes I can tell its a little different, lighter I guess, and I do fight with it on my own, I just feel like if I don't try to fight what I can right now, I will use the meds too much, and I won't know what I can handle, and what I cant. I've read some about the daily anxiety meds, and some of the start up side effects scare me pretty bad, ugh :( I am pretty confused right now, about what is right, and what is not.

Amy