What am I?

[Scary]

Hello, I am a long time reader, first time user and poster :)

I constantly worry about life, at least 90 + times a day. I worry my family or myself will die from anything. If they have a cough, I assume they have lung cancer. I know it sounds stupid, but its a fear I have, I fear they will die and it drives me crazy. It drives me to the point where I have to vomit, I get terrible headaches and occasionally, I get panic attacks. From the research I did, I found out that "Generalized Anxiety Disorder" or GAD and or OCD is probably what I have. Anyone with GAD/OCD agree?

As long as I have worried, I've heard voices in my head. They don't appear outside my head, but sometimes I have full conversations with these voices. They force me to ask if someone will die and they will respond with a Yes or No. It is usually positive, but if its negative, I will usually ask until its a positive answer. I've tried looking for these symptoms, but the closest I've gotten was schizophrenia, anyone with schizophrenia agree?

And I've had the above symptoms for more then 6 years. I've read online then these mental disorders are a form of stress, and chronic stress can cause serious problems with other organs, they can cause me to stop growing and they can cause premature death! I'm seriously worried about dying early and ironically, I'm worrying about stress, which is causing me stress... Is that true? Can stress cause all those things? If so, how do I get rid of it? I'm against prescription medication, but if I can still save my organs, growth and life, I'll do it. I really need your help! Someone told me it might be repressed anger, and that the anger actually wants my loved ones ill!! I truly do not believe this is it, but for some reason, I can't get this out of my head!! I am an angry person, but not towards my loved ones

Thank you so much!

[laurandisorder]

My psychiatrist often used to tell me that Depression is anger turned inwards, but it sounds like you have more than just depression weighing you down. My anxiety and panic attacks respond to similar incidences to yours - if my partner is sick, or late to bed, or late coming home from a night out - I instantly assume the worst - that he has died.

I have started to learn that I have a good reason for this - I have lost more young people close to me than I have older people and my anxiety comes from a very real fear that it could happen again.

You have to go and see a doctor and go through the rigmarole of testing and checks to ensure that what you are going through IS GAD/OCD related. Self diagnosis is never good! They may suggest medication, but there are many natural options available to help ease bad symptoms too. I would also recommend talking to a psychologist to get to the root of your fears.

And welcome to the forum
:)

[AceParadox]

Hi there and welcome :]

Don't worry, nothing sounds stupid. I'm willing to bet we all have different fears that others may consider "Odd", but here, we all have one common issue, if not more, and that is anxiety. I hold a high respect for each person on this forum, because I feel because we're all in the same boat, it's like we're brothers and sisters in the battle to overcome these issues. Hopefully that doesn't sound crazy x.x .... But anyway, I haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, so I can't speak on GAD or OCD. if anything, I'm certain I must have GAD. I'll be going to the doctor soon to figure things out. But, if you fear things to the extent of panic attacks, and fear them often, it is my belief that you may have an anxiety disorder of some type.

What kind of voices? When I have a panic attack, I talk to myself in my head. Basically, I just help myself calm down and figure things out. I'll say things like "Alright, no need to panic, this is just an anxiety attack AGAIN. *Sigh*, so let's figure this out. What triggered it, and what can we do to calm down. Any buddies nearby who aren't busy who may wanna go out for food? Any family members home to talk to? Got any tea?" That sort of thing. I may not understand completely, but I think perhaps it is your mind just trying to calm you down.

From what I've gathered from talking with doctors, it is true that a significant amount of stress, spread out over a lengthy amount of time, untreated, can cause some physical complications. I don't mean this to worry you at all, and sorry if I have. I wouldn't worry yourself with dying early -- think positive! I sometimes worry that too. But, we gotto think of the positives. Think of living a long happy life, accomplishing the dreams you want. I'd see a doctor too, they can help a lot and refer you to a psychologist to, like the person above me said, to get to the root of your fears.


Good luck! :]