Anybody have trouble with your family understanding anxiety?

[brittany09]

My mom told me today I need to "just get out more and get over this." My dad got mad because I canceled my 6 month teeth cleaning. Seriously? I hate how people don't even try to understand and say things that just make you feel worse. You can't make people understand either. This is a real condition!

What are your experiences?

[Amy1986]

Omg totally!!!!

My friends have said stuff like 'grow a pair' or 'it's just bad butterflies' I say do you know how it feels, no you dont so you have no right to comment.

God!! It REALLY pisses me off when ppl have zero empathy or pretend they understand but slag your problems off to other ppl (had that too)

So yeah I can relate, tell them it's hurtful, your trying your best and you need their support to help you get through this.

Amy

[Buttercup]

People who have never had anxiety find it so hard to understand why and just can't relate. The answer, i think, is educating them about it. Directing them to a website or asking them to read info on it to help them see how it makes you feel. I first experienced anxiety about 15 years ago and when I saw the doctor he told me what I felt was normal for a teenager and that I should just deal with it because everyone goes through it. Not very helpful! It was only a few months later when I was house bound that a doctor did a house call as I couldn't even walk out the front door that they began to see how I was suffering. Even my parents didn't understand but when they saw me have a panic attack they realised that I couldn't control what was happening and then they saw that it was not a matter of just getting on with things.
Over my 15 years of dealing with anxiety I have found who my true friends are- the ones who listen and try to learn about your condition and help you through it. The ones who judge and moan at you for not going on nights out, the ones who make unhelpful comments and make you feel worse about yourself are not worth having as friends, they aren't true mates and can quite frankly go f*** themselves!

[fresh]

One of my friends used to joke about it and slag me saying your a hypochondriac and that it would never happen to him and guess what... he is now dying with attacks. Not that I would wish it upon anyone but I did get a good feeling knowing that now he understood. Statistics are that one in five people will suffer with anxiety at one time or other in their lives.

[larmer]

your not the only one, people who have never suffered for anxiety do not understand. My parent are very supportive but my husband does not understand and it is difficult trying to explain but still does not understand.

[brittany09]

I'm sorry to hear you guys have went through this too! Do people think anxiety sufferers want to feel like this? Avoiding doing things you need/want to do and feeling like your gonna die from a panic attack?? Not to mention the fear of having another one,the derealization,depression,etc. It's so hard on us anxiety sufferers. I don't think anybody can truly understand unless they have anxiety but still...be a little more caring!

[tmichael]

I know what it feels like. Most of my friends and family are supportive, but I have some who aren't. My fear is that i am going Schizophrenic (even though I've been evaluated and my pysch has told me that is definetly not what is happening), and I just can't escape it. Some of my friends are like, "get over it. you're just a wuss. nothing is really happening." it's like they think it's a joke. I was an inch away from exploding on someone because of it. This just confirms to me that people who don't have this have no idea what we go through.

[PanicCured]

Brittany, the only people who understand what you are going through are those who have gone through it. Everyone else will just think you are being a big baby. They won't know what it's like to be in a state of sever panic and to feel all those horrible symptoms. I think it's best to just accept this. Sometimes someone who hasn't experienced will be sympathetic, but most people won't get it.

We can all give you stories of our shitty parents. Parents today are at least better than the way parents used to be. Use this as motivation to do good in school so you can move away and get into a good college, get a good job, and make good money and be totally independent and self sufficient. If you expect your parents to be on the same level as you and fully understand where you are coming from all the time, you will be in a losing battle. When I was 13 I told my mom I tried to kill myself and she said, "Yeah right! What movie did you see that in?" and made it like a big joke.

Remember, sometimes the more you want to talk about your problems the worse you may feel. Try to get to a place where you have completely forgotten about your anxiety.

Your parents are trying to help you, they just don't know there is a better way to do it.

[brittany09]

PanicCured,you are right. I actually think my parents have both had anxiety problems themselves,just don't want to admit it. My dad has told me stories that sound similiar to panic attacks,and my mom is just an overly nervous excited person all the time. My parents are great people,they just don't understand. But like your saying maybe people that haven't had anxiety issues are incapable of understanding. I'm out of school by the way,they just live close to me and know what's going on with me because I visit often. Luckily my boyfriend has anxiety issues as well so he understands. It's important to at least have that one person that gets what you are going through. Nobody that has anxiety is a baby,they are strong to go through what they do all the time!

[abbeylayne]

Ive lost friends because of my anxiety, because i got too anxious to go out in public places. And my parents...they always said it was something "I could just deal with" or that I'll learn to deal with it or whatever. But this January they finally came around and realized that I have an actuall illness and not just some nervousness or stress or whatever. Now I am very thankfully on medication for my anxiety. and as for my friends...well its their loss for not understanding my anxiety. They just didnt understand how hard it is for me to go in public. But like I said its their loss because I'm one awesome person, anxiety and all :)

[brittany09]

To those that have lost friends,I say good for you! Who wants some useless person around that is incapable of caring about another person anyway? Some people only care about partying and being seen,so if your a homebody that just doesn't work for them. When your feeling down,you figure out who your real friends are :)

[hopeNfaith88]

This has happened to me. My mom says she sympathizes but cant understand what i mean when i say the world doesnt look/feel right (my derealization issues) and my friends are understanding but are always bummed when i dont go out with them. My brother understands hes been through it but i look at him on prozac, klonopin, and hes also a big drinker. So obviously he hasnt gotten better which scares the hell out of me. Im his lottle sister im 20 and he is 23 hes been going through this for years but lucky for him hes not agoraphobic and never had probs leaving the house so i dont think he and i can relate.

My dad has had rough anxiety issues in the past but since hes over them now he cant identify and tells me to just get myself out of it. Mostly i feel sadness and shame that i am missing out on things i once enjoyed so much...going out to eat with friends and family, going to the movies and just getting out and running errands. Things i used to take for granted. Im left home alot when everyone else leaves and i just cry all the time.

My girlfriend has had a hard time with it. She doesnt drive and lives 30 min away. Since my depersonalization and panic gets so bad in the daylight and in a car, its been impossible to go see her. So i ended things with her because it just wasnt fair to her. But she doesnt understand why i cant leave the house. Quite frankly i dont understand it either. I have a hard time describing what i feel. I just know that i feel not myself all the time even in between panic attacks.

[alankay]

I hear ya Abbey, most anxious folks are very intelligent, caring, compassionate, creative and energetic. Too bad as it's their lose. I do admit I get oversensitive at times but since I'm very aware of it, work to counter that. Alankay.

[brittany09]

hopeNfaith,I can relate to what your saying. I just went through a period of derealization. Yeah,try explaining that to somebody that has no idea what anxiety or depression even is. Not worth it! The good news is,it will pass. I've been skipping out on a lot of fun things as well. But just because your not going out and spending money doesn't mean you don't have a life. Visiting with family and friends is what is important,even if it's just at home. You will get to the point where your going out again.