a new day = a new disease!

[ladyashley]

I don't know what to do anymore! I am getting so frustrated and I know the people in my life are getting frustrated as well. I feel as though I haven't felt 'normal' or really good in like a year and half. There is always something that doesn't feel right with me. For a long time my chest was very tight and I thought I had cancer. I went through all the tests I could possibly get done with that and nothing was found. Then I started to get panic attacks, which of course during these moments I thought I was dying and I just felt so helpless. Then I started getting tingling and muscle spasms all over my body- I looked online and convinced myself that I had ms- I went and got the tests done for that and they came back negative. And I can't help it but everytime something is wrong with me it drives me crazy and I will convince myself without a doubt that it is this horrible disease. I just wonder if anyone else out there goes through this. I try so hard not to look things up online because I end up just freaking myself out more and getting ten times as anxious as I already am. So for a while now my left arm has really hurt. It hurts below the shoulder on what feels like the muscle. I will try to massage it or ice it to make it feel better but nothing really seems to help- (i have had ekgs last year to rule out heart problems) but somehow I still think it's my heart somehow- I also get palpatations not only in my arm but other parts of my body as well. Along with that sharp pains in random places- including my chest, legs, knee, you name it- they usually do not last long but it does get annoying. So my latest thing I looked up is that I think I have a disease where your arteries harden- don't remember the name off the top of my head- but now I think that is why my arm and leg have been hurting. I am only 21 years old and this is how my mind works- I don't want to be like this anymore- I see everyone else and they just seem so carefree! If I am like this at 21 I can't even imagine what I will be like when I get older. My mom says it's like I won't be happy until something serious is wrong with me- but I know that's not true because I just want to feel normal again!
So I guess I was wondering if anyone else out there drives themself crazy like I do going online and finding what could be wrong with them, and also if my symptoms could be part of anxiety (the random pains, sharp chest pains, palpatations (in arms and legs), tight chest, and pain in left arm)
thanks for listening to my rant- my boyfriend and parents can only hear it so many times before I know I drive them crazy! Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[amarkb]

Hey,

I think the first thing you need to do is stop googling your symptoms. It does you absolutley no good, in fact it makes you worse and in the suggestable state you're in you'll get any symtptoms you read about that you don't already have. You should of course go to the doctor (but I'm sure you have) and let him do whatever tests he wants to to reassure you that it's 'just' anxiety.

I have been through the same thing. I've had all the symptoms you mention and have come to the same conclusions after going online.

I started with dizziness and headaches. It was following a stressful time during which I'd had my first panic attack but I didn't consider that the two could be related and so went online to find out what it could be. There were many, many things, lots of which completely harmless but of all the things dizziness can be a symptom of I picked MS to worry about.

That started a cycle of stress and symptoms that got worse and produced more symptoms.

I'd get muscle spasms, tingling arms and legs, sore joints, tension headaches, chest pains, shooting pains in my legs arms and head, tinitus, and muscle cramps. I'm sure there were more besides!

I got hooked on going to the doctors for reassurance. I know that deep down I didn't beleive them when they told me there was no MS or brain tumor or whatever else.

I stopped googling symptoms because it was driving me crazy and my family got really angry with me. I found this site and www.uncommonforum.com (http://www.uncommonforum.com) and was releived to hear other people had been through pretty much the exact same thing.

I've since started counselling and have learned that my symptoms were pretty much all from hyperventialtion, tension, adrenalin and some sinus trouble that I've had.

I'm by no means completely over it and am resigned to the fact that it takes time but I'm so much better than I was.

Stop Googling. Beleive your Doctor. Don't be afraid of your symptoms.

It's the fear that causes them in the first place.

Good luck and keep in touch.

Adam

[jitters]

You where right to think your symptoms where heart related. In a way they are. When you get anxious your fear response kicks in and your heart rate increases to provide the blood to your limbs ready for you to fight or flee.

This happens instictivly and you have no control over it, it is natural. The problem is in most modern situations you dont need to run, you have to stay. This means you often can't workout why you feel the way you do and I think quite naturally assume it is a heart problem.

This is usually componded by breathing issues and other resonses, Heart palpatations, tingling in fingers, pains etc. the other problem is the more sympotoms you get the more worried we become and the anxiety causes the symptoms to continue.

The truth is it would be easier psychlogically if it were a phsical problem, but it is not it is adrenaline, cortozone and a bunch of other chemicals, causing havoc in our bodies. So a condition caused by our primitive brain, plays out in physical symptoms.

I dont have the solutions. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, the sympotoms are real, it is anxiety and it sucks. But you will get through it, acceptance is the first step to recovery.

Stay Strong.

Duncan

[V for Victor]

It really sounds like you have hypochondria, which should be no suprise, because most people with anxiety problems do. Including me.

I've done the whole research-random-symptoms-on-the-internet-and-assume-I-have-a-disease thing, and I know it's not pleasant.

I've worried about having ms, cancer, tetanus, meningitis, severe allergies that might swell my throat shut and kill me, and dozens more.

But all of those things always turned out to be false.

The suggestions to stop Googling are good, in your case.

You don't want to continue to indulge your anxiety. You've got to say, "I'm not going to listen to this worry anymore. I'm going to go do something enjoyable or productive."

That's a really hard thing to do, especially when you think you're about to die! But you'll soon begin to notice that you do not die, and nothing bad happens. The anxiety may not go away, but you can get control of it and work around it. That's what I'm having to learn to do.

If you want to see a doctor, it might be good to see one about your anxiety problems, and talk about some therapy or medication, or something.

[jitters]

I call it "Cyberchondria" I used to do it too, try not to these days I only let myself google "Anxiety". :roll:

Duncan

[ladyashley]

Thanks guys for all your responses. Glad to see i'm not alone here. I know that i REALLY need to stop going online and 'googling' my symptoms but it's so hard. Something is wrong with me and i want a quick answer. I can remember ever since i was young worrying like this about various diseases! I would learn about something in school and be convinced that I had it and i think sometime i would even produce the symptoms because my mind would worry so much. I don't want to be like this anymore. I have gone to some doctors about my physical conditions and i will start crying and get really freaked out- then they say i think you also have anxiety and i have been perscribed Zoloft- as well as Lorazepam. I do not, however, want to take medication if i can get through this one my own. I am scared that medication will change who i am and cause more negative effects as well as the fact that i could become dependant on it. I have taking the Lorazapam a few times when i have had really bad panic attacks and that helps to calm me down- but i don't even like to take that often.
What I have been trying to do is think back- the time when i was having muscle spasms all over my body I was 100 percent positive i had MS and that was that. It was on my mind day and night until i got the MRI and everything was normal- I just to look back on this situation and say you are still alive and even though you were POSITIVE that was the disease you had- that was not the case. It's scary how much anxiety can affect you physically.
My last thought is about seeking phychiatric help. I was wondering what people's experiences are with this- and because i am hesitant to start any serious medication would counseling be the right answer for me. As much as i want to get through this on my own- it's hard and i am getting so frustrated- I cry all the time and feel bad that i am always bringing my boyfriend and family down with my problems. Like i said in my first entry i just want to feel normal again- College is supposed to be the best years of your life and the past two years of mine have defintely been the worst!
Once again thanks for your replies- it means alot to me :)

[ladyashley]

yay i have a cute little dalmation puppy icon now! that makes me feel a little better about things- haha :D

[hoppipolla]

woah so much of that is like what happened to me!!

i have had periods of heart palpitations, panicky feelings, uneasy stomach, pains in my left arm, breathing problems, different pains all over my body, feeling my heart beat... all sorts ._.

most of the time i kinda realize it must be anxiety and put it all down to that, there are only a couple of problems I have really taken the time to follow up (both of which I had even before my anxiety got bad).

and I'm 21 too! lol

but yeah try not to worry, if you have anxiety you would be amazed just how many physical symptoms (or things that feel physical in some cases) it can cause. Most of them like the palpitations and arm pains and things are very common to people with anxiety probs. I can have sharp pains in my head too and stuff, but it's all nothing, I know it is :)

obviously keep an eye on how your body is feeling and if things crop up, but don't rush to suspect illnesses and diseases as you are probably fine, your body is just too tense! :)

[jitters]

for some idea of what symptoms anxiety can cause see here:

http://www.anxietyforum.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1197

It's perfectly natural for someone with anxiety not to want to take medication, Many people advise against it as it masks the panic attacks making therapy difficult. If you dont want to take it dont. Find a qualified therapist try and get one recommended by another sufferer. Good Luck. We've all been there, most of us still are. We are here if you need to vent.

Duncan :D