I'm in the worst place I've been in years (vent) AND a question regarding exercise

[Ahlstrom]

My earliest memories of insomnia are from when I was about 5yo. At the moment anything more than a couple of hours at a time is good (without drugs). I've got hormonal things going on but it's been an issue most of my life. It's what started my alcoholism at 17yo. The vicious cycle is of course, the harder you try to sleep the less likely you are to fall asleep. The only real solution is not caring, which is a paradox, or drugs. Breathing can do the trick (I'm talking 20 mins or more, not a few deep breaths) but not guaranteed. Apparently sleep disorders are epidemic now though so you're not alone. Problem is you still feel like the only person on the planet who can't sleep. I don't know.. I'm speaking to the doc tomorrow about some Valium because I just can't deal with it.

Yeah, I've been popping back Valium (not touching my Klonopin) for the last 2 nights too and it's not doing anything. You're right in saying it's best not to care at this point. Just don't care my legs are shaking. Don't care my heart feels like it's going 120BPM when it's like 75BPM... don't care.

I did some get Trzadone last night and took half of what they recommend and it knocked me out pretty well. I got maybe 5 or 6 hours of sleep. Still not much and I feel anxious... although it might be the Trazadone making me anxious. Idk. I pray I take some tonight, fall asleep, and get at least 7 hours. Should reset me.

[gypsylee]

Yeah, I've been popping back Valium (not touching my Klonopin) for the last 2 nights too and it's not doing anything. You're right in saying it's best not to care at this point. Just don't care my legs are shaking. Don't care my heart feels like it's going 120BPM when it's like 75BPM... don't care.

I did some get Trzadone last night and took half of what they recommend and it knocked me out pretty well. I got maybe 5 or 6 hours of sleep. Still not much and I feel anxious... although it might be the Trazadone making me anxious. Idk. I pray I take some tonight, fall asleep, and get at least 7 hours. Should reset me.

I know.. I've gotten better at not caring because I've had insomnia for decades but I still have awful panic attacks because of it. You can't think rationally AT ALL when you're in the middle of it, especially if the vicious cycle has been escalating.

As usual, one of the biggest problems is the myths about sleep such as everybody needing 8 hours a night, every night, to be at the top of their game. I need about 6 I've worked out with 40 years of experience. Some people 4 and some people 12. I think that's the "normal" range. As people get older they sleep less and less, teenagers need the most sleep and whoever came up with "sleep like a baby" must have been insane.. Babies are the worst sleepers EVER (apart from me lol).