Scared and Depressed with news that I have rare deadly family cancer gene.

[WorriedJohnyBoy]

How can you deal with life knowing you have 40 to 70% lifetime risk of developing deadly pancreatic cancer? Genes were identified for hereditary pancreatitis which increases risk tremendously from developing the deadly disease. My mother passed away at 49 and grandfather around the same age.

I've been a hypochondriac my whole life, dealing with heath anxiety issues. Visiting the various doctor over 30 times in 4 years. I thought I had brain/neck/lung/testicular/liver/oral/skin cancer. All came back negative. Now the new findings literally left me on the floor crying for hours.

I am only 30 years old with a 4 month old boy who I adore. I can stand the thought of leaving him behind and not being able to see him grow up. I already suffer from extreme health anxiety which with new findings that are now leaving me in a deep depression. I find even hard to look at him without crying.

My life is slow and boring. The thought of laying in my death bed regretting all the things I could have been or should have done to be happy. I never live in the moment. My life consist of sitting around working on websites all day.

Please someone help me with tips, words of wisdom or anything! To top it off, I have the worst insurance for mental health, which is Kaiser. Only group therapy is offered and you're able to see counselor once every 6 weeks

Every article I read -- and I read many of them, all point to the increased risk. It's on my mind all day and night. I cannot eat due to my nerves. Even when I'm having a good time, it's still in back of my head.

You would think knowing this info would help diagnosing something early, but it's unlikely. My dream come true would to live to be 90 like my other grandparents.

[maria.g]

Is that a diagnosis you got or are you assuming too much?
Even your own anxiety you'll find is hereditary - doesn't mean your son will have it though.
Go easy on yourself.

[SueWith2]

i can imagine how hard that is to hear, but you may not have it. i guess you need to find a way to accept the news and not let it define you. none of us are promised tomorrow. i hope you can find peace

[Lin]

It is a shame to let the fear of illness ruin your life. My dad died of a heart attack when i was 22 and my mum died of cancer when I was 35, so there is real risk if either illness in our family. But until you are told you have it, I think you have to try and live as full a life as possible. I never know when depression is round the corner because of hormone imbalances for various reasons, but after I get over each lot, I try to go back to living a full life, even if a bit different.