New to this and need some support

[milady]

Hello. I have never joined any kind of forum or chat before (for anxiety or anything else), but I'm hoping to find some support and maybe help others as well. I'm a 42 yr old woman (mom of 2) and I suffer from depression and anxiety. I can go for months at a time without any anxiety or panic problems, but then something triggers my anxiety and off I go. I currently take 300 mg of Wellbutrin a day, which helps with my depression but I'm starting to wonder if it's aggravating my anxiety.
I am reading several books on how to overcome anxiety and am learning some techniques to "retrain my thinking", and I'm also joining this so I don't feel so alone about it. My husband is a wonderful and caring man, but he just doesn't understand how anxiety feels/works and I know he gets frustrated that he can't just "snap me out of it". WHich then in turn, makes me feel worse.
My anxiety is usually about my health...if I get any kind of "strange" symptom (I am always overly tuned in to my body) such as a pain in my chest (which is usually gas as I have IBS) or anything else, I find it difficult to ignore it. I fixate on it, and then the anxiety starts and then it's all downhill from there. I'm anxious because my stomach hurts and my stomach hurts because I'm anxious. I'm always afraid that I will have some horrible, terminal disease.
In my rational mind, I know that this sounds ridiculous, but once my anxiety starts, it's like a wheel stuck in the mud that I can't get out of.
I know that a lot of my issues stem from the loss of two of my brothers, both were killed unexpectedly in tragic accidents (one when I was 12 and the other when I was 29) I have been to counseling several times for my issues and I know that I have PTSD from that, and I think my fear of having something terminal stems from losing my brothers and the irrational fear that I may be next.
I'm sorry for the long post but I am just hoping to hear from someone who may understand how I feel. Thanks for your support

[metallijim]

Hey there. First off sorry to hear about your brothers, that's an awful thing for anyone to go through. I too suffer from a Hypochondriac form of anxiety as well as Agoraphobic. I know the feeling of understanding the pain in my chest is anxiety but worrying anyway. It's a vicious circle. Don't beat yourself up about other people not understanding, I have the same thing with my family. If they can't SEE the sickness they don't realise how bad it is or that it's even there. The more you let these things build up on you the worse you'll feel but I'm sure you know that. I'm currently going to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help change my way of thinking about situations and my outlook on anxiety as a whole. I don't know if you have tried it but if not I would recommend it. I've made good progress with it. I can't make any assumptions about your medication as I know nothing about it. I'll leave it at that for now, I hope this helps